thequest

A vent.

The middle aged adult alcoholic and his girlfriend are both still alcoholic and/or enable each other. After a small rest bit are fishing for money AGAIN. While employed or so they say. Not only dropping "hints" with stories of whoa but both are manipulating their parents up for big dollar requests.

One is trying to manipulate their parents into selling their house while 'the market is good' and the other is working a parent for another "donation" for ANOTHER car. These are 50 something year old adults working their parents for money like a kids/teenagers asking for a greater allowance. Both work them for months at a time waiting for an opportunity to pounce with their 'request'. The long con is their game.

To sit by an observe this over and over year after year is very frustrating. I know only worry about what I do and can control.

FireSprite

Exactly. If you go through your posting history you only ever post about everything "they" all do wrong... so how about some positive talk about what YOU'RE doing RIGHT then?

How about something that can help the F&F members posting here heal & grow rather than dredging up negative experiences to commiserate over?

It sounds like this doesn't even impact your life directly - you aren't on the hook financially or otherwise? How is it your business & worthy of conversation here? How is this anything other than straight judgment of others? That's not what this forum is really best used for, right?

BlownOne

I get it, Quest. It can be infuriating to watch alcoholics do what they do best. Even when if it doesn't really affect us. It violates our sense of fair and right and wrong. I'm watching a former friend do that right now, not in the financial sense but with the manipulation tactics and self pity we can be known for. I stay out of all of it, cuz it's none of my business, but I know how you feel.

Ladysadie

Step up to the plate and advocate for the victims. They need all your love and support. Don't be shy, don't be quiet about your observations. Be a voice to be heard. Right is right. Get some starch in your backbone if you don't already have it. I'm not going to take the time to read the backstory here but speak up. It's the right thing to do.

Seren

Hello quest,

I do get how infuriating all this can be, how enormously unjust and unfair! Really! I think all of us have experienced this at one point or another with our addicted family members and just general family dysfunction.

I think what helped me the most was to remember to find the good in my family and praise it instead of railing against the injustices. That simple change in mindset has been unbelievably helpful.

Just a gentle reminder to all, please, experience and support only. What worked for you when you were obsessed with how awful your addicted and/or dysfunctional family or friends were behaving?