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Whats happening to me

Old 07-07-2018, 05:59 PM
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Whats happening to me

A few weeks ago I posted that I had gotten past the sever cravings and have been able to keep my AV at bay. Today I still don't crave for a drink nor am I bothered by the AV very much. Whats happening now is I feel a rage building up in me. I am getting a different kind of angry when things go awry. My short term memory is uh what was I saying, oh yeah, my short term memory has gotten noticeably worse since I quit drinking. I am seeing a counselor and we just broached this topic this past Tuesday.
Is this normal? I have a physical coming up on Friday and I will be bringing this up then. In the mean time is is this normal?
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Old 07-07-2018, 06:27 PM
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Marc- when it comes to addiction- there is no normal. I will, however share my experience.
I was, like you angry at everything yesterday- the guy in front on the road driving so slowly, myself with memories of such a destructive past, whatever.
The first thing to accept is anger is an emotion, so it IS normal. I took most of the day working out (I perceive) the root cause of THAT anger episode...2nd time speaking to son (he is 29)) in 4y. His response, although friendly made is pretty apparent I will not be playing a part in his life anytime/soon. So I was angry with me, my genetic predisposition to booze, thus- my deceased dad and bro (both alcies) etc. Even tho I do not always understand why I am angry- or what the cause is..I know what to do in the short term, and perhaps more importantly what NOT to do. I did the HALTS bit (if stressed- ask yourself are you Hungry,, Angry, Lonely, Tired/thirsty or Sad/stressed? If the answer is yes- fix it or work out how to fix it or de-stress.
So I went for a long drive in lovely, lonely hills- Winter here, to think and accept the anger instead of trying to get rid of it. Then I had something to eat. Then I went to a meeting and shared. Then I wrote stuff down in a journal. It got me through the day.
Support to you. PJ
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Old 07-07-2018, 08:31 PM
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For me, anxiety can manifest in weird ways—the lack of focus/memory thing especially, also anger and discontentment. Maybe worth a look?
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Old 07-07-2018, 08:42 PM
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I don't know if it can be regarded as normal but it is common enough among those white knuckling sobriety. It is very difficult to live sober in the world and have an alcoholic mind. I found it impossible. The anger/rage, which is part of the internal discomfort that goes with not drinking and not having any other solution, just built up until I had to drink for some relief - that is to say in search of the relief that could be found way back in my drinking career but was now a delusion.

The answer in part is found in the principle of inventory, taking a really good look at ourselves, and the causes and conditions around these feelings.
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Old 07-07-2018, 09:16 PM
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You guys hit the ball out of the park. My job is 40 hrs per week then home business which is 30 hours. My boss is great, my wife is very supportive about what I am going through but I am no spring chicken anymore. I need more sleep with these long hours. I do however have some big things happening right now. (See my post "Need some advice"). I like the HALTS. Thanks Phoenix for that. I love long car rides to no where in particular then find a restaurant for a bite. I am seeing a counselor but that is only once a week. I am a firm believer in taking issues head on and not hiding from them. The results are always better even though it may hurt. Thanks everyone. Just writing this has chilled me out.

Last edited by Marcutah1; 07-07-2018 at 09:19 PM. Reason: Rewright a couple of sentences.
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Old 07-08-2018, 01:53 AM
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I often find that writing stuff down helps..
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Old 07-08-2018, 03:03 AM
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Do you have a therapist?

Do you share your feelings at meetings?

For me, all sorts of emotions came welling up the first year of sobriety. Therapy and AA and journaling and exercise all helped me work through, process and evolve.....
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Old 07-08-2018, 01:55 PM
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Try not to be ashamed of your anger. It's an emotion we will have at times. It's what you DO with your anger that really counts.

I find it helpful to be able to vent.

Exercise is a must for me.

Playing my guitar and singing at the top of my lungs is another good outlet.

Writing...writing can be cathartic. I know a guy who made a music CD and he wrote all the songs on it. He told me it was very cathartic for him after going through a grueling divorce and dealing with his bad marriage prior to the divorce.
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Old 07-08-2018, 06:18 PM
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moodyness and head fog are both typical in recovery. I had it bad for 6-12 months. it gets better, your brain takes some time to adjust. Hang in there.

These symptoms typically fall under "PAWS" or post acute withdrawal syndrome. It affects everyone differently.
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Old 07-11-2018, 07:10 PM
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I have been feeling much better lately, I do see a therapist. Like everyone here, he said this was normal and I need to start some of the things that has been mentioned. Not a person who journals, but will give it a try.
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