Alcoholic Soster
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Join Date: Jul 2018
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Alcoholic Soster
My sister lives hundreds of miles away, she was 2 weeks shy of 1 year sober (now I don't know if I believe it) and she has been drinking for days. My sister is a widow, her husband was terrible to her and they both drank. He has been gone for 12 yrs. I never knew she had a problem until this time last year when she went to detox. It broke my heart.
My sister is a strong, big hearted woman with a beautiful home and a fantastic job. Why does she fall off the wagon? She becomes nasty and lies constantly. How can I help from so far away?
My sister is a strong, big hearted woman with a beautiful home and a fantastic job. Why does she fall off the wagon? She becomes nasty and lies constantly. How can I help from so far away?
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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Good morning, MiddleChild:
I have an alcoholic/addict sister, too. My sister has been in recovery now for years, but I remember very well when she was not. My sister, too, is a wonderful person whom so many people love--only she doesn't seem to be able to take that on board, if that makes any sense.
I would have given anything to be able to help my sister when she was actively drinking and using--most of it I never knew about until she talked to me after entering recovery. But her pain was palpable and still is sometimes.
The sad truth is that you really can't do much except encourage her to seek help. I'm afraid there are no magic words or actions that will get your sister to realize how self-destructive she is being.
Has your sister been in a recovery program before? AVRT or AA or counseling?
I have an alcoholic/addict sister, too. My sister has been in recovery now for years, but I remember very well when she was not. My sister, too, is a wonderful person whom so many people love--only she doesn't seem to be able to take that on board, if that makes any sense.
I would have given anything to be able to help my sister when she was actively drinking and using--most of it I never knew about until she talked to me after entering recovery. But her pain was palpable and still is sometimes.
The sad truth is that you really can't do much except encourage her to seek help. I'm afraid there are no magic words or actions that will get your sister to realize how self-destructive she is being.
Has your sister been in a recovery program before? AVRT or AA or counseling?
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 9
Last July she went to a Detox Facility for 5 days but refused inpatient rehab. She sees a Mental Health Counselor monthly, as well as a Psychiatrist. She has no family in South Carolina, moved there while she was married. I have been trying to get her to move closer to no avail.
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I have one of those too. Mine is also a lovely person with many amazing qualities, but she has been estranged from one son since he was 14, her marriage broke up and the other son went completely off the rails, and even after all these catastrophes and numerous offers of help she kept drinking. Nothing we could say made any difference. She's not as bad as she was, but still drinking every day.
I know that's a hard message, but all you can do is be there if she does decide to seek help.
I know that's a hard message, but all you can do is be there if she does decide to seek help.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Originally Posted by MiddleChild 
Last July she went to a Detox Facility for 5 days but refused inpatient rehab. She sees a Mental Health Counselor monthly, as well as a Psychiatrist. She has no family in South Carolina, moved there while she was married. I have been trying to get her to move closer to no avail.
Is your sister in the Upstate, Midlands, or Low Country?
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Join Date: Jul 2018
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My sister will be going to Detox/Rehab this afternoon. I am super proud of her, she made the decision to go on her own. She has apparently been sober for 3 days. I am hopeful something from her current counseling and/or last years inpatient stay is starting to sink in. Please say a prayer for her.
Thank you all so much. Updates to follow.
Thank you all so much. Updates to follow.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
".....My sister is a strong, big hearted woman with a beautiful home and a fantastic job. Why does she fall off the wagon?...."
Remember: Addiction does not play favorites. It can happen to people of all walks of life. The wealthy, the person on the street, the prostitute, the housewife,the soccer mom, the Dr., the lawyer, the teacher...the principal....the mother, the farmer....anyone. There are a number of things that can drive a person to drink...such as a bad marriage or a job they hate or just whatever....depression, grief....the list is endless. There could even things that happened way back in childhood that have been buried for years....
It sounds like to "look" on at her life it's hard to understand why she is an alcoholic....it's possible there are unresolved issues from her former marriage that she never processed....and couple that with getting a little older ... A lot of people think things should get easier as they get older....but what can happen as a person gets "older" is the brain starts to change...and anything can happen at that point....notice all the mid life crisis cases there are....people start to panic in a way, like oh my God I can't believe this happening to me....and then they can start doing all sorts of weird things that may seem out of character...or they may start drinking ....
Remember: Addiction does not play favorites. It can happen to people of all walks of life. The wealthy, the person on the street, the prostitute, the housewife,the soccer mom, the Dr., the lawyer, the teacher...the principal....the mother, the farmer....anyone. There are a number of things that can drive a person to drink...such as a bad marriage or a job they hate or just whatever....depression, grief....the list is endless. There could even things that happened way back in childhood that have been buried for years....
It sounds like to "look" on at her life it's hard to understand why she is an alcoholic....it's possible there are unresolved issues from her former marriage that she never processed....and couple that with getting a little older ... A lot of people think things should get easier as they get older....but what can happen as a person gets "older" is the brain starts to change...and anything can happen at that point....notice all the mid life crisis cases there are....people start to panic in a way, like oh my God I can't believe this happening to me....and then they can start doing all sorts of weird things that may seem out of character...or they may start drinking ....
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