alwayscovering

AH told me he needed to stop cursing. (LMAO really? that's what you need to stop doing?) I asked why and he said "I need to be better and I think you should stop cursing too"

Look here dude I quit carbs and sugar, I GAVE UP PEPSI. I am NOT giving up the f bomb. (I didn't say that though)

He spends ALL his pocket money on alcohol every week.

I am also amused that he said he's going to use his pocket money to pay for crossfit. (I refuse to pay for anymore gym or exercise crap because he does them for a week or so and then quits and we're stuck with 11 more months of something I don't want to do and he's not doing it. If I want to branch out beyond walking and hiking. I buy passes like 8 week bootcamp or a month of kickboxing. I get bored way too easily to commit to a year of exercise that I only like in spurts.

I'm totally supportive if he wants to quit drinking and exercise but I guess I just don't believe him at this point. He complained that eating Keto isn't working. The scale isn't moving. I said "You still have to create a calorie deficiency. You have to track everything you put in your mouth." I was proud of myself for not saying "stop drinking dummy"


what is he doing? Does he realize something needs to change and thinks this will do it? or is this more alcoholic bull$hit. I want to be hopeful but I'm just not. Is that bad? I'm going to al anon tonight maybe I'll find a sponsor

hopeful4

Good for you. Get out of the house. Go to Alanon. Be open. Be honest. You will feel better for it, I promise.

Bernadette

what is he doing?

Once again, he's just doing what alcoholics do!! Trying to apply the rules of clear thinking and logic so you can figure him out will drive you cuckoo! We call it "quacking" on here. When he starts in with something you find baffling or completely a** backwards (like "I need to quit swearing") as a priority just picture a duck quacking because honetly that's all you'll get from that conversation. I had to practice just responding with "Hunh." or "Um hmmmm" when my A brothers would start in on something that just showed me how damaged and warped their thinking is...not worth engaging in at all since it defies logic and goes nowhere!

Peace.
B.

AnvilheadII

remember to try to not to take ANYTHING he says seriously.....don't give it any weight or merit. your best response is Hmmmmmm, or That's Interesting.....and then you MOVE ON.

it's not a competition. even if he tries to make it one. your choosing to make food choice changes is separate from him choosing to do......well whatever he chooses to do.

you're still itching for a fight. you still think that any minute now he is going to leap to his feet, with a golden glow around his head and say I GET IT, you want me to stop drinking because my drinking causes problems. I GET IT, i am on my way to AA right now, i am a changed man, i have Seen The Light!!!

let him be him. you don't have to like it, or give it your approval, just detach and let him be.

trailmix

Honestly when I read that first bit it actually did make me laugh out loud.

No verbal exchange with another adult should ever have the words: "I think you should" in them, unless the comment by the other adult included the words "what do you think I should do"?

As Bernadette mentioned, it's quacking. I don't know where that comes from. Control issue? Blame issue? or just - spouting off.

Oh and congratulations on giving up Pepsi, that really is a tough one. I have done it before and i'm about to do it again.

dandylion

ac...….Yes, it is alcoholic BS. And....Quacking.

Don't Jade. Detach.

Have you read Quackers? If not...you will loooove it.

In fact...I have an idea...when he "Quacks".....and you want to tell the world how stupid you think he is.....don't respond to him...ignore him and come and post it on our Quackers Thread.....lol---it will get a lot of coverage, here...lol...

dandylion

ac......I am giving you the following link to our extensive library of articles....there are over 100...and they are written in the pain and tears and experience of those who have come before, here, on SR....
Read one a day...and, by the time you finish, you will be an expert...…
(they are also in the sticky section, above the threads)…..

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)

alwayscovering

I have never heard of quacking and now I must find this thread.

I guess I just miss the conversations with the intelligent person I married not these insane rants I’m subjected to now.

Note to self: ignore quacking

alwayscovering

I’ve started reading these. The one titled I loved him broke my heart.

dandylion

ac....I just added the Quacker thread to the other current threads....take a look....and, don't break a rib, laughing....(or crying)…..

alwayscovering

The way I would behave when I didn’t have Pepsi and then when I finally got it was ridiculous. I quit carbs and sugar to save my life. I’m diabetic. Detox from that was horrible. I thought I was dying, I was so sick. But I got through it and glad I did.

I really am trying to figure this crap out. What I’m supposed to do and how to handle these situations. What I’ve been doing obviously isn’t working. I’m going to al anon and I found a group I really like so I hope to find my sponsor there. I know I’ll make missteps along the way but I’ve never encountered a smooth road.

trailmix

For sure you will have missteps and victories and I hope you keep posting here, even if you just want to vent! Your posts help others as well.

I'm so glad you found a group that you really like. I think you will find the tools you receive and the support will make a world of difference.

If someone said to me, i'm stopping cussing and I think you should too I would either just walk away or say - and I think you should look after your side of the street and i'll look after mine.