48 hours sober ....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 3
48 hours sober ....
Hi all, i’m 44 from the uk and came across the site whilst searching for advice on giving up the booze.
Ive always been a drinker, as have all ny friends from the age of 17, so thats 27 years...wow ! For most of my years, its has been mainly weekends because night work etc has prevented iweekdays but i am a complete binge drinker and on them weekends i would really go for it... drink until being very drunk sometimes passing out, been in trouble with the law numerous times in my 20s due to being drunk..
All my social life revolved around meeting friends and getting plastered.
However, sadly 3 months ago, out of the blue my mum was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and has been given about 5 months from now to live, and my world fell apart, my brother and i lost our dad 7 years ago, and mum has been our rock. I have given up work to care for her and my brother and i take turns staying the night with her.
So, for the last 3 months i have been drinking every evening, often starting 4pm , with beers, until mums medication means she goes to bed, then i crank it up with maybe a bottle of wine or half a bottle vodka, i was using drink as a way to cope with the news of mum, also to get to sleep, eating crap food just before going to bed. I didnt really think much of this, because i ate before bed, i wasnt waking up with too much of a hangover and could function ok during the days, although by late afternoon, i was looking forward to a beer.
However, last friday night, my brother, who is 38 and also a heavy drinker and myself, got right on it... cider, wine, then just before off license shut, a litre of vodka..... i woke up saturday morning, feeling terrible, left mums early in the morning, leaving my brother asleep and went home, i tried to sleep, but had such anxiety, i found myself walking down the shop at 9.30 in morning to get more beer and a couple cans of g&t, just to make myself feel human again...
Well, the whole of saturday was pretty much a blur, by 5pm i was in terrible emotional state, not even very drunk, but full of anxiety and shame and i decided enough was enough... i decided july 1st 2018 was the day i became sober...i met and spoke to a friend who is 65 who gave up 10 years ago, and he wants me to give him a quick ring every day to chat and keep me from straying.
As i am writing this,i feel much better emotionally, and am still determined.... i need to do this.. however, i know in the past, once a few days have passed and the memory of that terrible hangover fades, the so does the resolve...... i do however, feel different this time.... i want this to happen.... i know i havent made it easy on myself quitting during this awful and stressful time in my life.... but its got to be done
Ive always been a drinker, as have all ny friends from the age of 17, so thats 27 years...wow ! For most of my years, its has been mainly weekends because night work etc has prevented iweekdays but i am a complete binge drinker and on them weekends i would really go for it... drink until being very drunk sometimes passing out, been in trouble with the law numerous times in my 20s due to being drunk..
All my social life revolved around meeting friends and getting plastered.
However, sadly 3 months ago, out of the blue my mum was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and has been given about 5 months from now to live, and my world fell apart, my brother and i lost our dad 7 years ago, and mum has been our rock. I have given up work to care for her and my brother and i take turns staying the night with her.
So, for the last 3 months i have been drinking every evening, often starting 4pm , with beers, until mums medication means she goes to bed, then i crank it up with maybe a bottle of wine or half a bottle vodka, i was using drink as a way to cope with the news of mum, also to get to sleep, eating crap food just before going to bed. I didnt really think much of this, because i ate before bed, i wasnt waking up with too much of a hangover and could function ok during the days, although by late afternoon, i was looking forward to a beer.
However, last friday night, my brother, who is 38 and also a heavy drinker and myself, got right on it... cider, wine, then just before off license shut, a litre of vodka..... i woke up saturday morning, feeling terrible, left mums early in the morning, leaving my brother asleep and went home, i tried to sleep, but had such anxiety, i found myself walking down the shop at 9.30 in morning to get more beer and a couple cans of g&t, just to make myself feel human again...
Well, the whole of saturday was pretty much a blur, by 5pm i was in terrible emotional state, not even very drunk, but full of anxiety and shame and i decided enough was enough... i decided july 1st 2018 was the day i became sober...i met and spoke to a friend who is 65 who gave up 10 years ago, and he wants me to give him a quick ring every day to chat and keep me from straying.
As i am writing this,i feel much better emotionally, and am still determined.... i need to do this.. however, i know in the past, once a few days have passed and the memory of that terrible hangover fades, the so does the resolve...... i do however, feel different this time.... i want this to happen.... i know i havent made it easy on myself quitting during this awful and stressful time in my life.... but its got to be done
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 27
So sorry for the loss of your father and illness of your mother. I just went through the same. I used it as a "poor me" excuse to drink. It only made things worse as I am sure you can imagine. I am only 5 days in but feel amazing. I know you can do this and it might be the best gift you can give your mom. Waking up without shame is better than any Buzz alcohol might have provided. Best of luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 3
Thanks Jenny, I know my mum does worry about leaving my brother and myself and whether we will hit the bottle hard when she’s gone... I have told her I am quitting and i think her disappointment if I go back to it makes my determination stronger...
Luckily we are both married so have support there, I am possibly even luckier in that my wife doesn’t drink , so no alcohol in the house...
Luckily we are both married so have support there, I am possibly even luckier in that my wife doesn’t drink , so no alcohol in the house...
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
It's so good to have you here, Matt.
I'm very sorry about your mom's illness & the impact it's had on you and your family. I can understand thinking those drinks will help ease the pain - but as we have learned, it only makes the anxiety much worse. We don't stay sharp or focused - we're only creating more misery. I'm so glad to know you've decided to stop. You seem very self aware & determined. When I joined SR it really helped me to feel less alone - everyone understood what I was going through. Congratulations on your 48 hours sober. You can do this!
I'm very sorry about your mom's illness & the impact it's had on you and your family. I can understand thinking those drinks will help ease the pain - but as we have learned, it only makes the anxiety much worse. We don't stay sharp or focused - we're only creating more misery. I'm so glad to know you've decided to stop. You seem very self aware & determined. When I joined SR it really helped me to feel less alone - everyone understood what I was going through. Congratulations on your 48 hours sober. You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Hey there, Matt. I'm very glad you've found us. This place has been a vital part of my getting and staying sober. You are amongst people who really do get it, and I hope you stick around and keep posting. I'm sorry to hear of your mum's illness and I wish you all the best on your sober journey.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,754
Welcome to the family. 
I'm sorry for your mom's illness. 
I think you're smart to get sober now. You can be of more help to her if you're sober. I hope our support can help you stay sober for good. 
I'm sorry for your mom's illness. 
I think you're smart to get sober now. You can be of more help to her if you're sober. I hope our support can help you stay sober for good. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 3
Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. I’ve just woke up on day 3, still very determined . I’m not sleeping great , my brain doesn’t want to switch off.... and have got a bit of a headache, but if these are the only withdrawal symptoms I get, then I can deal with it.
Last night, instead of trying to force myself to sleep, I read a lot of posts on this forum and watched some YouTube videos of people who have quit, and this really helped strengthen my resolve....
Last night, instead of trying to force myself to sleep, I read a lot of posts on this forum and watched some YouTube videos of people who have quit, and this really helped strengthen my resolve....
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