Day 2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 4
Day 2
Good evening,
I'm new to the forum. I have problems drinking alcohol because when I start, I'm unable to stop. I would only drink once a week but would binge drink to the point of blacking out.
I've been trying to moderate my drinking but failed miserably after some succesful attempts. I blacked out only to find out that i became verbally and physically aggressive with my boyfriend for no apparent reason. Ive had many rock bottoms with my drinking. I'm hitting these rock bottoms and not accepting complete sobriety instead of trying to learn how to drink like a normal person
I'm new to the forum. I have problems drinking alcohol because when I start, I'm unable to stop. I would only drink once a week but would binge drink to the point of blacking out.
I've been trying to moderate my drinking but failed miserably after some succesful attempts. I blacked out only to find out that i became verbally and physically aggressive with my boyfriend for no apparent reason. Ive had many rock bottoms with my drinking. I'm hitting these rock bottoms and not accepting complete sobriety instead of trying to learn how to drink like a normal person
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome to SR!
I joined this site in 2012, and was sober from October 2012-January 2012. I hit 90 days and was feeling great, then started thinking "Maybe I don't have a problem..." "Maybe I can moderate." I found myself slowly starting to drink again, and spent the next three years alternating between brief periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderation.
Finally, on December 31, 2015 I decided enough, I had to be done, and I haven't had a sip of alcohol since. I hit two and a half years today. I log in and read daily. Thr January of 2016 class was a big part of my early support, and then I found the 24 hour thread, and I still check in there daily.
I have found SR, exercise, being out in nature, mindfulnesss, and trying hard to approach every situation in a positive way, and always maintaining a sense Of gratitude.
In the early days it wasn't easy, and I basically planned every minute of my day to stay busy, even if the plan involved Netflix or a bubble bath. There are going to be tough days, and those are when you need to be most vigils t, log in here, play the tape through to the next day (that was an important one for me).
Check in every day and read and post. You can do this, and I'm looking forward to seeing you here!!
I joined this site in 2012, and was sober from October 2012-January 2012. I hit 90 days and was feeling great, then started thinking "Maybe I don't have a problem..." "Maybe I can moderate." I found myself slowly starting to drink again, and spent the next three years alternating between brief periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderation.
Finally, on December 31, 2015 I decided enough, I had to be done, and I haven't had a sip of alcohol since. I hit two and a half years today. I log in and read daily. Thr January of 2016 class was a big part of my early support, and then I found the 24 hour thread, and I still check in there daily.
I have found SR, exercise, being out in nature, mindfulnesss, and trying hard to approach every situation in a positive way, and always maintaining a sense Of gratitude.
In the early days it wasn't easy, and I basically planned every minute of my day to stay busy, even if the plan involved Netflix or a bubble bath. There are going to be tough days, and those are when you need to be most vigils t, log in here, play the tape through to the next day (that was an important one for me).
Check in every day and read and post. You can do this, and I'm looking forward to seeing you here!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 157
Great reply Delilah and congratulations on 2.5 years.
Targaryen, I think that knowing we can never drink again is the hardest part to except. But as I and Delilah and probably everyone else hear found out months or even years abstaining from alcohol does not cure you. As soon as you think you can control it it’s game over.
I have had many failed attempts as you can probably guess by my name😀 However I’m still here trying which goes to show I can’t control it or moderate. Even if it’s a binge once a month I just loose control.
I am on day 16, there were times over the weekend where I thought a beer would be nice but I quickly thought of the consequences after and the fact that I don’t just have one or two. Instead I spent it with my family doing “normal” things which I never seem to manage when I’m drinking. It’s Monday and I’m on my way to work and looking forward to it rather than being filled with dread.
It’s good that you realise you have a problem and that your on here trying to sort it out. I wish you well in your recovery.
Targaryen, I think that knowing we can never drink again is the hardest part to except. But as I and Delilah and probably everyone else hear found out months or even years abstaining from alcohol does not cure you. As soon as you think you can control it it’s game over.
I have had many failed attempts as you can probably guess by my name😀 However I’m still here trying which goes to show I can’t control it or moderate. Even if it’s a binge once a month I just loose control.
I am on day 16, there were times over the weekend where I thought a beer would be nice but I quickly thought of the consequences after and the fact that I don’t just have one or two. Instead I spent it with my family doing “normal” things which I never seem to manage when I’m drinking. It’s Monday and I’m on my way to work and looking forward to it rather than being filled with dread.
It’s good that you realise you have a problem and that your on here trying to sort it out. I wish you well in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I know fine well I can't drink. I don't try to moderate. When I have a good run of sobriety, I rarely plan when I am going to relapse. It happens without any thought. Just impulse. 2 or 3 weeks later, I then realize that I can't really remember which day I did what. Just a muddled blur of memories and an empty bank account. Although, my handlers probably know better since my phone is hacked
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 4
I think the hard part for me at first was just accepting that I cant drinking moderation. Also, my best friend is definitely a trigger and she drinks a lot. I need to have a healthy conversation with her and ask her to support my decision not to drink since most of our social activities together involved alcohol. Thank you for your support guys.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Welcome Tara. Day 2! You made it through Day 1. YAY. Today is going to be another tough day, but you can do this!. I'm one who can't moderate either, though I've tried on numerous occasions. I have two best friends on opposite ends of the drinking spectrum. One is a recovered alcoholic with 25+ years of sobriety and the other drinks heavily and smokes weed. I stay away from my drinking friend, though we speak on the phone. She's not too interested in being around me either, as she wants to drink.
Hang in there. Reading through the threads and posting will help with the cravings and reinforce your commitment to remaining alcohol free. It's particularly important to post if you feel you might pick up. Post BEFORE you drink and wait for help to arrive. SR has talked me off the ledge several times. I'm rooting for you.
Hang in there. Reading through the threads and posting will help with the cravings and reinforce your commitment to remaining alcohol free. It's particularly important to post if you feel you might pick up. Post BEFORE you drink and wait for help to arrive. SR has talked me off the ledge several times. I'm rooting for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by targaryen86 
I think the hard part for me at first was just accepting that I cant drinking moderation. Also, my best friend is definitely a trigger and she drinks a lot. I need to have a healthy conversation with her and ask her to support my decision not to drink since most of our social activities together involved alcohol. Thank you for your support guys.
I hope your friend will respect your decision and not to try and pressure you into drinking or say "oh come on you can have 1" etc...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
So many of us have tried to "moderate" - the truth is that moderation is only for people who have problems drinking, and that people who have problems drinking can't moderate. It's the alcohol addict's catch-22.
Welcome to SR. You'll find lots of support and wisdom here.
Welcome to SR. You'll find lots of support and wisdom here.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi Targaryen (love your screen name).
I spent many years trying to use willpower to just have a few drinks now & then. I didn't want to get drunk, ever - but that's what always happened once it was in my system. In the end, it was never fun anymore - and became very dangerous. My behavior was always unpredictable. It was so good to get free of it. Glad to have you with us.
I spent many years trying to use willpower to just have a few drinks now & then. I didn't want to get drunk, ever - but that's what always happened once it was in my system. In the end, it was never fun anymore - and became very dangerous. My behavior was always unpredictable. It was so good to get free of it. Glad to have you with us.
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