Day 0: Trying Something Different
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Day 0: Trying Something Different
Hello - I have had four "Day 1s" this year that have lasted from 7 to 16 days but I still seem to not be able to convince myself that permanent sobriety is the answer.
So here I am... the "Night Before" dumping beers into the sink to minimize the adverse effect on my sleep pattern and fatigue during the morning of the next work day.
Here I am...the "Night Before" recalling dreams about moving to a Southern Climate before age 50 and sustaining goals of fitness, weight loss, and financial management before I ultimately feel confident to make that plunge.
Here I am... Spending most of the night trying to organize things (cleaning, laundry, etc.) thinking I need a few drinks to make it tolerable when the movement and exercise themselves are enough.
So here I am... saying "tomorrow is the day"... I am hoping you can all help me focus and support me to make sure that tomorrow will really be "the day".
Gracias!
So here I am... the "Night Before" dumping beers into the sink to minimize the adverse effect on my sleep pattern and fatigue during the morning of the next work day.
Here I am...the "Night Before" recalling dreams about moving to a Southern Climate before age 50 and sustaining goals of fitness, weight loss, and financial management before I ultimately feel confident to make that plunge.
Here I am... Spending most of the night trying to organize things (cleaning, laundry, etc.) thinking I need a few drinks to make it tolerable when the movement and exercise themselves are enough.
So here I am... saying "tomorrow is the day"... I am hoping you can all help me focus and support me to make sure that tomorrow will really be "the day".
Gracias!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
The best advice I can give you TeeJay is make a plan 
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: St Louis, MO
Posts: 539
Well...you probably know how to handle day one. Getting rid of all the booze and filling up the fridge with non alcoholic options and food. You have been here before.
Trying something different...now that sounds like a good plan. But what? After day one, what have you done to help sustain your quit? Doing it again does not sound like trying something different.
So...share what you have done and maybe your SR friends can throw out some alternative things for you to try. You WANT to get by the two week barrier and onto a rewarding sober life that includes all those things you mentioned. We want that for you too!
Trying something different...now that sounds like a good plan. But what? After day one, what have you done to help sustain your quit? Doing it again does not sound like trying something different.
So...share what you have done and maybe your SR friends can throw out some alternative things for you to try. You WANT to get by the two week barrier and onto a rewarding sober life that includes all those things you mentioned. We want that for you too!
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Tee,
Around 50 is where some folks call it quits.
Me too. I was feeling major mental and physical problems and was probably pre diabetic etc.
Quitting this far was hell on earth. I have what I call kindling and PAWS.
My drinking days are over. SR saved my life.
When you think you are going crazy, remember that you are. Drinking will just make it worse.
We can slowly come back to sanity, but drinking again puts us right back on the path. They tell me the relapses are worse each time.
I never want to find out. I don't have another relapse in me.
Today I ran 1 mile in 10 minutes and kept going off/on for another 20. While it is not impressive for most people, it is considered...good shape...for a 50 year old.
I believe most people, of any age, can't achieve this unless they practice.
When I was a drunk my BP was routinely 190/100. Not any more. I still have borderline high BP, but not like before.
I have unlearned drinking. The only way I know to get free is to suffer.
Otherwise, I was doomed.
Thnaks.
Around 50 is where some folks call it quits.
Me too. I was feeling major mental and physical problems and was probably pre diabetic etc.
Quitting this far was hell on earth. I have what I call kindling and PAWS.
My drinking days are over. SR saved my life.
When you think you are going crazy, remember that you are. Drinking will just make it worse.
We can slowly come back to sanity, but drinking again puts us right back on the path. They tell me the relapses are worse each time.
I never want to find out. I don't have another relapse in me.
Today I ran 1 mile in 10 minutes and kept going off/on for another 20. While it is not impressive for most people, it is considered...good shape...for a 50 year old.
I believe most people, of any age, can't achieve this unless they practice.
When I was a drunk my BP was routinely 190/100. Not any more. I still have borderline high BP, but not like before.
I have unlearned drinking. The only way I know to get free is to suffer.
Otherwise, I was doomed.
Thnaks.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
A plan seems to be the important thing but maybe quite difficult when starting from scratch. Having never lived a sober life before, I had some difficulty in imagining what it would be like, or why I would even want to do it.
We have this saying in AA which starts with "if you have decided you want what we have...." it is not always easy to see what it is let alone decide whether we want it.
I was coming at this from the point of never having had any real success at life. My experience told me that life sober wasn't going to be much fun. I had had so many failures, that I lacked confidence that I might be able to achieve anything worth while, and I wasn't even sure of what worth while would look like.
Being unable to imagine an objective made it rather difficult to plan how to get there.
So instead I went to some AA meetings. There I met a very wide cross section of people. Some were nuts, some were sleezy, but discounting them, there were a number of alcholics that seemed to be having success with sobriety. Even among them there was a variety of experience and types. Different ages, different social background, different jobs, different lives.
But there were two who seemed to have something interesting to me. The way they spoke, the way they acted, the way they looked seemd to strike a spark within me. They appeared to be the kind of people I would have like to be. So I asked one of them to show me how they got to be like that, and they did.
Lazy in the extreme, I didn't pursue my own plan, I PINCHED THEIRS
We have this saying in AA which starts with "if you have decided you want what we have...." it is not always easy to see what it is let alone decide whether we want it.
I was coming at this from the point of never having had any real success at life. My experience told me that life sober wasn't going to be much fun. I had had so many failures, that I lacked confidence that I might be able to achieve anything worth while, and I wasn't even sure of what worth while would look like.
Being unable to imagine an objective made it rather difficult to plan how to get there.
So instead I went to some AA meetings. There I met a very wide cross section of people. Some were nuts, some were sleezy, but discounting them, there were a number of alcholics that seemed to be having success with sobriety. Even among them there was a variety of experience and types. Different ages, different social background, different jobs, different lives.
But there were two who seemed to have something interesting to me. The way they spoke, the way they acted, the way they looked seemd to strike a spark within me. They appeared to be the kind of people I would have like to be. So I asked one of them to show me how they got to be like that, and they did.
Lazy in the extreme, I didn't pursue my own plan, I PINCHED THEIRS
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
You are all awesome! Unfortunately, after an extremely frustrating day, it didn't happen today... but these comments really help a lot... and repetition and persistence will ultimately prove to be successful. (I probably should have viewed this thread before my long drive home.... on my iPhone and not my work computer.)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Start thinking about a plan Tee Jay - you can be proactive not reactive?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by TeeJayVerm 
I still seem to not be able to convince myself that permanent sobriety is the answer.
My problem was I seemed to not be able to permanently convince myself that sobriety is the answer.
Does your arrangement and my arrangement represent the same problem, or two different problems? Would it change the solution?
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 17
Hey TeeJay, just know you are not alone in this. I have only gone 9 days without a drink in 2018 but I have notched 3 out of the last 4 which is an accomplishment for me. There are so many routine things I do around the house that I think I need a beer for (mowing the lawn, painting a room, etc.) and it's starting to sound silly to me. Let's try to change our mindsets together! We can do this!
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