PunkieSpunk

Good Evening,

I am rather new to the recovery/support society of alcoholism. My wife is an alcoholic and also bipolar. We have been married for 10 years which has had several situations involving alcohol and she has been to rehab a couple of times. However she is currently in a recovery center again and while doing some self reflection of my own, I always thought I support her through all of this, and the more I think, the less I can honestly say I have given it a fair shot before throwing in the towel. This last time I was pretty much dead set on leaving her, and honestly, I am not ready to throw the towel in until I can say I truly tried to recover also. At this point, I can't say I truly have. I have said I supported her, but how, by giving her flowers and visiting her... I never tried meeting, support groups or understanding the illness she deals with. I catch a lot of flack from people around me for dealing with her, but I love her to death. And for the sake of our family, and marriage, I truly want to give it a damn good shot before I say "I tried".

least

Welcome to the family. I hope you have some support for yourself too. Your happiness matters.

Forward12

It is terrible to watch a loved one in alcoholism, though recovery all comes down to their will to do whatever it takes to get, and stay sober. There is nothing you can do to force or love them into sobriety.
I would highly suggest alanon meetings as well as to check out the family and friends of alcoholics section on this forum.

PunkieSpunk

Thank you.. I know all too well that you can't love someone to sobriety. She sounds like she is serious this time but it is only 2 weeks into recovery, so anything can happen, and if she is true to her word this time, then I know it will be along road. But I need to get on my road of recovery also.

I searched a few Al-Anon Family Groups near by, and am actually going to seek one out tomorrow night.

iwilltryagain

Those lines above are good enough for you to stay with her. She has to get well on her own. You cannot do much other than taking care of her and being there for her along the way. You cannot cure her or make her stop drinking. The drive has to come within her. I hope she has to realize that. Make sure you tell her you are going to leave her if she doesn't stop drinking. But I appreciate for being there for her....Good luck.

Berrybean

Rehab is just the beginning for her recovery though you know. She's never gonna come out of one of those places cured of alcoholism. She will always be an alcoholic, even if a sober one. THAT means she will never be able to drink 'normally', or just have a couple on a special occasion. It means that unless she works on her recovery on an ongoing basis (through AA or similar, or with self-discipline to do her own programme) she will unlikely be comfortable in sobriety.

Hopefully she'll find the willingness to do this when she emerges this time. AlAnon is likely to be very helpful to you. We also have a great subforum here for friends and families of alcoholics, and the threads on there (esp the stickies at the top) are def worth exploring.

BB