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The simplest things are complicated.

Old 06-26-2018, 09:55 AM
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The simplest things are complicated.

I’m on day 3 of my recovery from alcoholism. I’m a stay at home mom with 3 small children and we have no groceries. Yesterday I wasn’t feeling well so I gave them pb&j sandwiches and Mac and cheese for meals (pantry raided)
I HAVE to go grocery shopping right now, I’m terrified I’ll be tempted to buy alcohol. I’m ashamed that this is so hard for me, I wish there were grocery stores without alcohol. I’ve weighed out all of my options... even Target has booze sitting by the check out line. I’m just going to have to be strong and resist.. my kids need a healthy meal today.
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Old 06-26-2018, 09:57 AM
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any chance ya have delivery options at local grocery stores? we have kroger here where i can order online and pick up at the store without even having to go in.

you may be tempted, but you wont by alcohol if you dont allow that to happen- no matter how hard you have to fight.
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:00 AM
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At Walmart, there is such thing called grocery pickup. You can order online and need not walk down the aisles. They will help load your car. Details below:

https://news.walmart.com/2016/06/03/...grocery-pickup
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:13 AM
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Yes, there are stores in many cities that will deliver to your home or you can buy online and then drive to pick-up. It might make things easier for you.
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:15 AM
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Lots of options out there SIL - and as mentioned above, several stores have the option of delivery or carside pickup - it might cost a few extra dollars but worth it.

Or how about this - take your kids to the store with you and tell them that under NO circumstances will mommy buy any alcohol. Buying alcohol is a choice that you, and only you can make - so even while it may be "tempting"...remember that you have 100% control over those decisions.
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:15 AM
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I live in a small town in CA (mountain resort town) we only have one small grocery store. It’s a 20 mile drive to my closest stater bros and target. There is no Walmart, I tried to see if stater bros would deliver but we are out of their delivery area. Guess I’ll just have go in knowing buying alcohol is NOT a option. I can’t believe I’ve gotten to the point that this is a issue for me... so embarrassing.
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:19 AM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Lots of options out there SIL - and as mentioned above, several stores have the option of delivery or carside pickup - it might cost a few extra dollars but worth it.

Or how about this - take your kids to the store with you and tell them that under NO circumstances will mommy buy any alcohol. Buying alcohol is a choice that you, and only you can make - so even while it may be "tempting"...remember that you have 100% control over those decisions.
That is a really good idea, I will word it to them as “ we are only buying healthy food today, so mommy can’t buy any beer” ... my kids will be the first to call me out on it if I do haha
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:22 AM
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Great suggestions above on online ordering, but if you must go into a store, avoid the alcohol aisles like it has a snake in it that will strike.

Most grocery stores don't have wine right at the checkout.. go to one of those instead of Target.

No one can make your feet walk into the alcohol aisle but you.

Take your children with you. Think about how strong you are. What a good mom you can be without alcohol in your system. How every moment you go without alcohol in your body, your cells are healing themselves and you are getting healthier. Use your children as "armor" for yourself to do what's good for them and YOU.

Even buy yourself a healthy treat of some sort.. a fancy tea, a flavored coffee, a bar of gourmet chocolate, some ice cream you can enjoy with your kids.

Once you leave, without buying alcohol, give yourself a mental high five and think "good riddance"!

Every time you do this, you will be stronger and more capable. Soon you won't see the "snake in the wine aisle" anymore.. it'll just be random bottles of things you don't use.. like the pet aisle is if you don't have pets. You don't need this in your life anymore.

Sorry for the ramble. Just trying to think it through with you. I'm also a mom of three (very close in age) so I can totally relate.

Hang in there! Three days is AWESOME. It will only get better!

Another thing.. let go of the shame. You are doing well. Be proud of yourself. Every moment you don't drink you are getting stronger and farther away from that former life.

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Old 06-26-2018, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by tealily View Post
Great suggestions above on online ordering, but if you must go into a store, avoid the alcohol aisles like it has a snake in it that will strike.

Most grocery stores don't have wine right at the checkout.. go to one of those instead of Target.

No one can make your feet walk into the alcohol aisle but you.

Take your children with you. Think about how strong you are. What a good mom you can be without alcohol in your system. How every moment you go without alcohol in your body, your cells are healing themselves and you are getting healthier. Use your children as "armor" for yourself to do what's good for them and YOU.

Even buy yourself a healthy treat of some sort.. a fancy tea, a flavored coffee, a bar of gourmet chocolate, some ice cream you can enjoy with your kids.

Once you leave, without buying alcohol, give yourself a mental high five and think "good riddance"!

Every time you do this, you will be stronger and more capable. Soon you won't see the "snake in the wine aisle" anymore.. it'll just be random bottles of things you don't use.. like the pet aisle is if you don't have pets. You don't need this in your life anymore.

Sorry for the ramble. Just trying to think it through with you. I'm also a mom of three (very close in age) so I can totally relate.

Hang in there! Three days is AWESOME. It will only get better!

Another thing.. let go of the shame. You are doing well. Be proud of yourself. Every moment you don't drink you are getting stronger and farther away from that former life.

THANK YOU for this, I had tears in my eyes reading it. It’s such a huge relief to have support and someone to talk to. My husband works a lot and has no idea how out of control my drinking got. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to talk to him about it. I’m constantly worried about my health from drinking. Always fearing every ache and pain as liver damage, it gives me a lot of anxiety. My google search bar has googled “what are symptoms of chirossis of the liver” more than I can count. So you saying to think of my cells healing really is helpful, I definitely need to think of it that way AND maybe replace all of those empty booze calories that I was injesting with a treat instead sounds like a great idea
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted by SickInLove View Post
THANK YOU for this, I had tears in my eyes reading it. It’s such a huge relief to have support and someone to talk to. My husband works a lot and has no idea how out of control my drinking got. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to talk to him about it. I’m constantly worried about my health from drinking. Always fearing every ache and pain as liver damage, it gives me a lot of anxiety. My google search bar has googled “what are symptoms of chirossis of the liver” more than I can count. So you saying to think of my cells healing really is helpful, I definitely need to think of it that way AND maybe replace all of those empty booze calories that I was injesting with a treat instead sounds like a great idea
Many here can vouch that it becomes quickly easier as every day goes by. After 7 days, it is more like an itch which keeps fading. Just do not buy today. For your kids, let's be a role model. You can do it. You are awesome!
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Old 06-26-2018, 03:46 PM
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The wine section in our grocery store was moved up front and center last year....much to our dismay. We even complained to the manager about what kind of message this says to families and young children. They don't care about that...it's a big money maker for them. In their mind most people don't have a problem with alcohol....

Anyways, it doesn't bother me so much now....I avoid those isles and that area and I set my face like flint and stick to mainly the perimeter and produce sections.

I also tell myself there are very likely OTHER shoppers who are trying to stay away from alcohol. If they can do it, so can I.

Alcohol is "featured" in so many places....if you go out to eat, one of the first things your waiter does is ask you if you'd like anything to drink...from the bar...in early sobriety I can see where it's best to just stay away....but you do need food!

Are you a single mom? If not, can your partner do the shopping or go with you to shop to lend some support and strength?
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Old 06-26-2018, 05:37 PM
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Thank you for all of the support everyone. Update I managed to make it through a hour long grocery trip with 3 kids under age 7 and not buy alcohol. I’m home now cooking a huge dinner and drinking iced tea. So far so good, I’ve had a mild headache all day that won’t go away and I’m constantly hungry but from what I’ve read that’s pretty common in the first week or so.
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Old 06-26-2018, 05:41 PM
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Way to go Mom!! Hey, doing the grocery shopping with 3 kids under age 7 is no small task. Doing it while trying to avoid temptation even greater. So, again, good going! I'm getting ready to fix dinner myself with home made brownies for dessert.
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Old 06-26-2018, 05:48 PM
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So I had a funny dream last night....speaking of caring for kids and babies....In my dream I ended up being the nanny for this man who needed a nanny...he had 2 sets of twins....and then had a set of triplets!! I don't know why I would dream this or how I ended up being his nanny...but there I was trying to take care of all these kids and the triplets were newborns and "identical" but they varied in size and volume of food they needed. I was trying SO HARD to get littliest triplet to eat more and catch up with the other two because he was so scawny ....the biggest triplet was a trip...he was quite a bit bigger than the other two...he grew so fast we couldn't keep up...before we knew it he was crawling and getting into stuff and trying to wander off and started climbing trees and stuff while the other two triplets were still like little newborns. As fate would have it he finally remarried to a good woman who started to help me with all those kids and I felt so much relief as I was trying to do it all my own while he was away at work. Weird dream.
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Old 06-26-2018, 07:43 PM
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Originally Posted by SickInLove View Post
I live in a small town in CA (mountain resort town) we only have one small grocery store. It’s a 20 mile drive to my closest stater bros and target. There is no Walmart, I tried to see if stater bros would deliver but we are out of their delivery area. Guess I’ll just have go in knowing buying alcohol is NOT a option. I can’t believe I’ve gotten to the point that this is a issue for me... so embarrassing.
Aw. I wish I could take you to target. I used to buy so much booze at target. all the trulys...I'd clear them out. I just got back from there. They have some really awesome sparkling water choices. Can you go with the intention of buying some? They are great poured into a glass with ice.

hang in there. Mac and cheese is better than drinking mommy.
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Old 06-26-2018, 07:45 PM
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Also....think of it this way. No booze buying embarrassment. Ever again. It's such a beautiful feeling.
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Stayingsassy View Post
Also....think of it this way. No booze buying embarrassment. Ever again. It's such a beautiful feeling.
Oh my yes that’s a big one, since I’ve moved I’ve been so embarrassed. We have one grocery store and it’s the same people working every day and I always felt so embarrassed. I would text my husband and ask him to stop for drinks or even worse I’d drive the longer distance to target and buy 2 boxes of trulys and hide them.. which always ended up bad obviously. My brain “I’ll drink 3 a day” ... my AV “ nah just drink the whole box” I’ll be so happy to go in my small grocery store without being scared a parent from my kids school or their teacher will see me buying booze at 11 am.
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:51 PM
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Originally Posted by SickInLove View Post
Oh my yes that’s a big one, since I’ve moved I’ve been so embarrassed. We have one grocery store and it’s the same people working every day and I always felt so embarrassed. I would text my husband and ask him to stop for drinks or even worse I’d drive the longer distance to target and buy 2 boxes of trulys and hide them.. which always ended up bad obviously. My brain “I’ll drink 3 a day” ... my AV “ nah just drink the whole box” I’ll be so happy to go in my small grocery store without being scared a parent from my kids school or their teacher will see me buying booze at 11 am.
I would buy two six packs of trulys (there weren't as many boxes before I quit) and convince myself I'd only drink one, yet somehow I knew I'd drink more because why would I buy two? Then here's an even more bizarre thing: I'd get to 7 or 9 and then get frustrated by the low alcohol content and move on to gin or vodka with diet soda to really give the addiction it's fill. So in the morning? There were always trulys left, starting the whole process over again.

Thank heaven and all the stars above, that is over.
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Old 06-27-2018, 04:54 AM
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Not sure what trulys are, but sounds like you have made the good, right decisions about the grocery trip. It is so true that the smallest things can freak us out in the beginning of sobriety.

To just add something I have learned - Dr Google can be terrifying. Going to my real drs (GP and liver- I was very sick when I quit) was the way I had to finally go, to figure out what I really had going on, and face dealing with it.

Keep going and keep sharing!
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Old 06-27-2018, 05:04 AM
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way to go
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