Jjb2018

Im just one of those silent reader here in SR
This is my very first time to reach out for help..i have lots of those day one the longest im sober was during pregnancy i was fine i was happy after two months back to the beer can.i have to hurry up to end my breastfeeding so i can drink. I go back to work early and let my husband take paternity leave so i have some money to buy beer and to cover this fascade of my life is great..i let my husband watch the kids including our baby and everydays off there i am become a cave person iresponsible human being who just exist in my house.. my worst drunk was the past 3yrs after i gave birth to my eldest i fall in very bad depression my Lord i cant imagine how insane i can be..bringing a baby in a liquor store at 9 in the morning i dont drive so i make an excuse to have a walk with the baby in the stroller easy to hide the biggest box of beer there and the liquor store is just 7mins away from where i live. isnt that crazy??i have to buy in bulk so i dont have to go out (and my greatest fear is running out )and pretend were are having company ..binder for week sober up feel good then repeat..u know the feeling when u sober up for days u have to celebrate it by drinking..im a shame of what im doing i feel awefull as a mother and a wife. Im a closeted alcoholic i drink so called socially when im with other people ( so that what they see)but i have a stash in my bag or in the diaper bag i become so artistic in hiding stashes im not a mean drunk i dont get wild or abusive.i hide bottles from my husband to the extent i have to go out in the middle of the night to throw all those can in a common bin iether snowing raining in all weather i could say.
but i really wanna get clean so tired of this so when i told him im an alcoholic two yrs ago i guess his just like really?i need help..he said just dont drink. I went to my family dr.and she prescribe me an antidepressant i feel good i look better i drink less and less not less in quantity but less in days but still drunk then i had a chance to be sober on my second pregnancy but boom there i go again..i really tried so hard to be sober but there is really something on my head.well just drink ur life is ok ur husband is fine with it u still have jobs and kids..another side of me will says u dont have to lose them all before u prove you are an alcoholic.my husbands theory is alcohol will punish me enough for him to say something which is really true..not like previous yrs im drunk for 7to 10days so far for now i work 6 and 2 off i drunk on my last day till last night before i go to work or ill call in sick if i cant bare the next day..i was back to the beer can before christmas and there i go..

I need help for staying sober thats my main problem and main goal im hopefull SR can help me and guide me thru.all this years i try it by my self waisted time i cant do it alone i need your help.

I want to stay sober.i know i have a problem
But it is so hard if i talk about alcoholism with people who doesnt drink.iether im being shove under the rug or they just accept it or im just being judge.

Thank you for reading and taking time
To understand.im an alcoholic and i need help.i hope its okay to post here from time to time they say it helps ill do what u guys do.

May everyone have a great day
Blessed i still have today for another day one.

Take care

Purple99

Welcome and thank you for posting. I am a wife, mom and alcoholic too. I quit drinking in Dec and needed medical help to stop. I almost died drinking and almost died quitting. If you can stop for days on end then you can stop forever. Don’t celebrate these days by drinking! Walk the opposite way of the liquor store. Can you join AA or get some other support? Those who have a drinking problem truly do understand. Stay on the forum - I am pretty new too but everyone here has been great .

Anna

I'm glad that you posted and that you have decided to stop drinking. You can be the mother and the person you want to be. You will find lots of support here.

Jjb2018

Purple99

Hi nice to meet you here i tried phoning AA on my area during those darkest days i have but they hang up on me 3times the person who answer the phone says they are closed or they at at work or no meetings so i guess im not welcome there.
My husband told me dont be in Aa it will increase our life and medical insurance.never really believe that im an alcoholic.but i will try harder to stay sober i guess my best before wasnt enough..im not gonna argue with him ill do what i can.and thank you for being here with reading my problem

Jjb2018

Thank you very much i think now im in the right place

chicory

Jjb, this is a wonderful place. Its helped so many. You will find lots of understanding and support. You can do this.

PalmerSage

Jjb, what you described sounds so exhausting to me (and very familiar, of course!) Are you planning to make today your day 1, or have you already stopped drinking for a bit? We are most definitely here to help.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

ElizaD

I think in some areas you just have to go to the AA meeting. There is no one really responsible for offering empathy and encouragement over the phone (at least not in my area). I bet you can find a schedule online. I'm sorry, Jjb, that you don't have more support at home to get help but I'm glad you are here and hoping you can get sober!

Dee74

Welcome jjb
I'm sure we can help you - SR is so full of wise advice and help and hope...the community here really helped me turn my life around

D

topspin

.

Welcome Jjb !

You've made a great decision to join SR and explain how everything is with your beer drinking .

We sure understand how folks who've never craved a beer don't really understand what you've been through .

It was powerful for me to learn what to expect the first days and weeks and how to deal with that desire to drink . One very effective way ,...is to do what you've already done today , …..and that is :

…... to come here and post your thoughts before. you walk the stroller down to the store .

Again ,...welcome !!

I'm so grateful SR was here whenever I stuck in my drinking cycle ,...and felt so alone .

You're not alone anymore .

Lizajane

Jjb
Welcome! Keep reading and posting. Lots of wisdom here and help to get started on your road to sobriety. Your life does sound exhausting! I will say a prayer of peace for you tonight that you will connect with some people here and let them guide you to a peaceful sober landing. I think if you really give sobriety a chance and couple it with a program like AA, you can do this. I suggest you search for an AA meeting while you are sober. I have no idea what your husband is talking about. My husband has been an active member of AA for years and has received health insurance covered outpatient intensive treatment for alcoholism with no insurance increase. His records are confidential. Good luck and WELCOME!

Delilah1

Welcome to SR, this is an incredible forum, and you will find lots of support here. You may want to join the June Class of 2018, you will find others who have committed or recommitted to sobriety this month.

Another great support is the 24 hour thread, I check in there daily

You can do this, and I promise it makes being a mom and a wife much easier, and much,much better.

Berrybean

Maybe try calling at a different time then? Different people man the phones. People do it voluntary, so maybe something was happening in their life / home that night. Nothing to do with not being welcome at AA generally. Not at ALL. It's best to call when you're sober. You won't get much out of the phone call loaded, because you won't remember properly what was said.

Plus, there is no way it could affect insurance etc, so please don't concern yourself over that. You don't go on any kind of register for the info to ever be passed on. You just turn up to any meeting you like, grab a coffee and tune in. No register. No records. I could visit any city in the world and just go along to an AA meeting there, by walking through the door and sitting down. No need to call ahead or give my details.

You are so right about talking to non-alcoholics being futile. That's why this place and AA have kept me going. We need people who understand to get sober, and we continue to need them so we can stay that way.

BB

ReadyAtLast

Welcome jjb. I'm a wife and mum too and feel like an utter failure. This is the best place for us to get and stay sober.

Mummyto2

Hi, welcome your not alone, I am a wife and mum also who is an alcoholic, great job for coming here for help and support, you can do this

Jjb2018

[QUOTE=ElizaD;6936574]I think in some areas you just have to go to the AA meeting. There is no one really responsible for offering empathy and encouragement over the phone (at least not in my area). I bet you can find a schedule online. I'm sorry, Jjb, that you don't have more support at home to get help but I'm glad you are here and hoping you can get sober!

Its actually cool just to share what ive been thru with people like me you just dont know how i feel accepted in here for sure ill try again to find an aa meeting im gonna try anything just to stay sober.

Jjb2018

Maybe try calling at a different time then? Different people man the phones. People do it voluntary, so maybe something was happening in their life / home that night. Nothing to do with not being welcome at AA generally. Not at ALL. It's best to call when you're sober. You won't get much out of the phone call loaded, because you won't remember properly what was said..

I check it from there new website mostly run by the church its alright ill try anyway if makes u sober why not try.. and thank you so much this is actually the first time im being accepted and someone understand what ive been through.for sure ill stay here

Jjb2018

Thank you very much everyone for letting me feel that im accepted this is the first time i feel light in my shoulder that some burden has been off it really feels good to be understand and somebody listen i should done this post long time ago but i cant get the notion of sharing makes u feel better but now that i try it and experience it right now .for sure you will see me here more often.thank you very much everyone for making me feel good.ill read some more of the thread and keep learning.

Jjb2018

As of my 2nd day i feel way better today went to work cook nice dinner..i just wanna leave it behind about my past relapse drunk 45 cans of beer for 2to3 days..i feel bad when it cross my mind but im here now and lots of you willing to help and believe in me that ill make it .just redirect my mind lots of reading before going to bed..