SadDad57

Has anyone seen a person who has struggled to maintain his recovery have success by going the structured route of the military?
My 26yo son needs to get away from here and this environment (old user friends, crazy user girlfriends, codependent Dad, etc....)
Thoughts?

AnvilheadII

hmmmm, does HE want to serve his country? lay down his life for his fellow man? and do WE want to send active addicts TO the military in hopes that straightens 'em out?

everywhere he goes, HE will follow......his thoughts, his choices, his actions.

HardLessons

Just thinking out loud here

Yes on the surface it seems like the heavy duty structure might be a good idea & help. However if your son is an active addict this could also be a recipe for disaster.

I would think they screen for drugs during the intake process. Also getting caught with drugs while in the military may carry harsh penalties. I'm not so sure the military is a good place for an active addict.

tomsteve

i know 2 people that joined the military to stop drinking.
one ended up getting drunk world wide.
the other didnt drink for 4 years but picked up worse that he was before the military.

Ilovemysonjj

If he is looking for structure, how about sober living? That is where they are focused on their recovery through meetings, accountable through their actions and surrounded by those who also are working on their recovery. If he is living under your roof, that may be halting his progress because its comfortable and what he is used to. I know for me, I HAD to get my son out from under my roof and let him learn how to make his choices and live with the consequences.

Hechosedrugs

I tried that. When I was 18 I was really into ecstacy, coke, and I was downright addicted to ephedrine-based energy pills (they used to sell them at health food stores and they were basically speed). Basic Training kept me out of trouble, but once I was sent to my unit I fell right into the party crowd and drugs were readily available. If you're looking for them, you'll find them. I was discharged with an "Honorable Under General Conditions". I shouldn't have been. I was kicked out for multiple positive drug tests. My first sergeant was just too nice to give me a dishonorable. But even the discharge I have has hindered me somewhat. It's not a true "Honorable" and raises questions. And I find it hard to explain why I was only in for two years when the minimum was three. So I tend to not tell people about my experience unless I really have to.

SadDad57

Thank you, that's the type of feedback I was hoping for and your experience is exactly what I am afraid of for him. Basic would be like another rehab but then he'd gravitate to the same type people he is trying to get away from here.

GoodKarma

Military did not work for my addict son. He was released with a dishonorable discharge after about a year.

Anaya

SadDad57: I am sorry for what has brought you here; know that it is a good place to express, other parents understand.


I can share from what I've experienced as a parent. My son is also 26 and I do remember well the year he graduated from high school -- the military recruiters were abundant and purposeful. Most of them let the pursuit go, once they realized he abused substances and also had periodic run-ins with the law. Long story short - my son did not end up enlisting.

Personally, in that time of crisis, it almost seemed like a good idea for him to go into the service, a structured setting, receiving discipline, zero tolerance mentality, you get the idea. Realistically, though, I cannot imagine either he or the armed forces would have benefitted; he was barely able to function.

Anaya

Ilovemysonjj - I agree with what you've shared. I must admit, it took more than me to get him moving out. At that time and after all was said and done, my son's father knew that was what had to happen and I weakly backed him up. As a mom with codependent tendencies, I do admit that it was not easy to stand back and let him go, seeing that he was falling apart, but as far as I can see, a few years down the road here, that move has worked out for the best.

Jiggs

I know this is an older post but I saw it and thought, yes we have twins. I was thinking the same thing a year or so ago and discussed this with my son. He was all pumped for it, for about a couple of weeks until his welfare cheque arrived and then he disappeared again for his usual bender.

He was kicked out of school for drugs in grade 11 so he has zero skills to offer. I spoke with a buddy of mine who is involved in recruitment. He knows my son and the issues we've had. He told me he probably wouldn't make it past the first phase of the application process (they want to see high school completion or up grading) and if he did he probably wouldn't make it past their complex drug screening.

It was an idea at least but he can't even make it through a Govt paid job skills program for 3 months. He lasted 3 weeks but never put in an actual full week before he got the boot or quit. He would've been paid a full time wage for the 3 months, received upgrading skills, job placement assistance....but he couldn't even muster the ability to accomplish even this this so in my heart I know he would not last a week in the Military, even if by some miracle he made it in.

GreenChair

I just had this conversation w/ someone last week. Her friend's nephew was an addict and 20 years ago he was given a choice of jail or military (I don't think they do that now?). He chose military; he did want to get clean. He was very successful, got and stayed clean and had a career to be proud of. But I think it was due to him being "ready" when the opportunity arose; if he was forced, I don't think it would work out so well?