Horn95

There was this young girl, maybe 23, and I am pretty sure she was tipsy. And she was there with her two young kids. Not Judging, just a little strange.

suki44883

It's not that unusual. The only requirement to attend is a desire to stop drinking. I've seen people a lot more than tipsy in meetings.

Dee74

I dunno I think one the best places in the world for someone tipsy to be at is an AA (or SMART or Lifering etc) meeting.

Way better than being passed put at home and the kids left to fend for
themselves?

whether this woman was drunk or had something else going on, who knows?

D

Horn95

Yeah I understand, and your point is well taken D, I just thought it was a little weird.

TheSoberDude

Honestly, I don’t think I would enjoy that. I don’t believe it’s healthy for others to have to witness. It’s great she wants help, but one must be respectful of others and come sober. My fathers sponsor once told him. “Don’t call me if you have been drinking.” That was the golden rule, and I’m sure it holds true for many sponsers.

Side note, was she driving? That’s a little scary...

Gottalife

Would be a pretty sad day if AA banned people who had been drinking. It would be shwing a total ignorance of what it means to be alcoholic. Most groups have a policy that as long as the member is not disruptive, they can stay in the meeting. If they get a bit boistrous, one or two old timers will take them to another room or outside and sit with them and talk.

I know from my own experience that being under the influence does not preclude one from hearing the message. And, as someone else said, what safer place could this mother be?

tomsteve

its a blessing showing up sober isnt a requirement to attend a meeting of ex drunks where the majority stumbled around in public at one time or another drunk as cooter brown.
i have seen many,many people drunk at meetings and the great majority of them have been more respectful than sober members of aa.
if they arent causing a scene then its great they are there.
calling a sponsor when drinking and going to a meeting when having drank are 2 different things here.

Porcetta

Agree 100%

Gottalife

I thought AA was for people who can't stop drinking yet, if I have understood you correctly, people that can't stop drinking should not be allowed in a meeting. Could that be right?

TheSoberDude

I’m not saying it should be a requirement, my post simply states you should have respect for others who are not there to see people tuned up. Again, it’s great she wants help and I pray she gets it.

Porcetta

I was agreeing with another member about how they/and I would feel (that's allowed right).

AAPJ

For me seeing someone who is not yet sober show up at an AA meeting while drunk/high can be quite inspiring in a positive way.

Example. I regularly attend a Saturday morning mens AA meeting. About four months ago a new guy showed up. Still high and drunk from a night of partying downtown. Worked in the restaurant industry in the city. Said he needed help. We gave him all the positive support he needed.

I saw him again at the same meeting a couple of weeks ago. He had been sober since that day and came to thank us for our support on that first Saturday morning when he stumbled into our meeting. He changed jobs to get into a more positive work environment too. What a great feeling.

I have discussed this topic with several fairly senior active AA members in our local AA community and the consensus is that someone who is still actively using is very welcome in our AA meetings. Now if you are disruptive we will take necessary action to preserve the meeting flow, but that's really the only limitation we have. We have all been there. If someone who is still using wants to see what we can offer at one of our AA meetings how could we possibly say no?

Kdon853

There but for the grace of god go I. The only requirement meant for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Seen a lot of people drunk at AA meetings and that’s ok . That could easily be me. I am responsible for the hand of Aa to be out there. Or something like that.

eyes99

I am so glad that she came and even brought her children! How much she must love them. That means that she wants to get sober. And her children will see her trying to change her life. And maybe they’ll take from it that they should always keep trying too.

I don’t know you, this woman, or this meeting, but I’ve been inspired by your post.

eyes99

Oh, and I’ve been to AA meetings before where people have come drunk. They look terrible, smell bad, and are generally a very good reminder of what we’re all there to change about our lives. The most important person in the room at AA is the newcomer for just that reason. She should be made to feel welcome.

entropy1964

I surprise myself sometimes when I'm 'aghast' by an addicts behavior. Kinda ironic....not to mention hypocritical. I have to catch myself and say, this person has a serious condition.

The hallmark affect of alcohol, which is to lower a persons inhibitions considerably, renders the person unaware of their behavior. That's kind of the rub isn't it. How many times have I said 'I wasn't THAT drunk' when indeed I was.....and then some. I'm sure if I could see video of all the nutso things I have done while drunk I'd shock even myself.

When I see stuff that I think is a little weird, I remind myself that I've probably been much weirder.

August252015

I have some thoughts on this from experience.

Agree with the others that the best place a drunk or tipsy or [ ] person should be is at a mtg. A wise older and long time sober person expressed this train of thought as such - last 4th of July, a drunk, smelly, disshelved person came in, kinda tripped over me and ended up passing out on my shoulder.

I was distracted from the meeting- and upset. When I brought it up with this mentor, he asked me "OK, what step are we dealing with?" I wasn't sure, but then the Step 11/St Francis prayer came to mind (ie try not to be understood but to understand, etc). And he said "No. It's Step 1" - ACCEPTANCE. He further explained that this could be the ONLY safe place a person has, where they won't get thrown out unless they act completely out of control etc, police won't hassle them, on holidays they could get a really good meal at the cookout....That really flipped my mind over to compassion (hey, I went to a couple meetings drunk before I got sober) and that I needed to accept him just as he was at that moment.

When someone bothers me in a meeting- and yeah, children of still-crying-tantrum-such age can be a big distraction- I have to get away from myself to think that maybe, just maybe, the message is being carried to an alcoholic who still suffers, and that she got it together enough to make the meeting.

So, yeah, this kind of stuff is decently common enough, and it isn't my side of the st to give it a title of weird, wrong, anything.

I hope she keeps coming and that she begins to come sober and starts working a program.

Horn95

I agree with just about everything on this thread. I think one of the scarier things of it all was a reminder of some of the much more awful conduct I engaged in while drunk.

I was worried that she was driving with those kids, but I would be lying if I said I had not done the same thing. Jeepers, I am so lucky that disaster never struck while I did such things.

I did feel hypocritical making note of her condition. Pot meet kettle. Alcoholism is a terrible, terrible disease. I should have reached out to her, but I didn’t. I hope to see her again.

Primativo

I was in a meeting recently where a guy was still steaming drunk, had clearly been drinking all day. He was rambling and didn't make much sense when he spoke, very emotional etc, but generally kept quiet. He left the room once or twice because he was anxious he said.

I don't think it's that unusual. If someone is there, that is enough, as it shows they have a desire to stop.

brighterday1234

The greatest advert for sobriety and to get/stay recovered is to see a person under the influence.