rayna87

I am so new in my recovery, that I knew it was way too soon to test myself, but my friend...my only friend where I live...would not leave me alone about it. I knew she was already drunk at 2 in the afternoon. A couple of weeks ago, I would’ve been right there with her. I put her off as long as I could today, but she would not stop texting me about going out, and honestly i felt strong enough to go sit there with her and watch her continue to chug poison. Partly to shut her up, and partly because I am still very insecure in my relatively new town and this girl is kind of all I’ve got. And unfortunately, our “friendship” revolves almost entirely around drinking.

That being said, this time it was all on MY terms. I told her...when I’m finished with what I have to get done today, I will get there. If she didn’t like that, oh well, we’d all stay home. I met up with her, at our usual bar of our choice. She was already hammered. I just looked at her, at how she was acting at only 5 o’clock in the afternoon, and I didn’t miss it for a SECOND. I ordered a huge glass of straight cranberry juice (i used to drink vodka crans) and tried to comprehend her incoherent ramblings about why she hated people. Needless to say, I drove her home. I haven’t been a DD....well, ever. I took my to-go cranberry juice and took her home and walked her upstairs and kind of forewarned her boyfriend without saying anything that he was most likely in for a long night.

The moral of this very long story is that I didn’t miss those days one single bit. I watched her and hated that I used to be her too. But I’m so thankful I’ve woken up out of that...so thankful I drank too much La Croix and cran juice today...so thankful I’m not going to wake up in that death hangover feeling tomorrow. I really feel like I’ve got this!!!!!!!!

columbus

Good job!

Delilah1

Great job!

MissPerfumado

Well done rayna!

Although ... it is mighty early to be testing yourself like that, as you've said. I'm not sure you should be staying close to this person. There's nothing to gain and so much to lose, namely your precious new sobriety.

Instead of sitting in a bar, watching someone else get hammered, listening to their drunken ramblings... could you find another hobby and maybe join a Meetup group or something? That way you might meet people in your new town who don't rely on drinking to have a good time.

Just a thought.

You sound like you're doing really well and it would be a shame to let social pressure jeopardise your sobriety.

TheSoberDude

My first test was a fishing trip with my buddy. Beer was always flowing during my drinking days while fishing. It was early on in my sobriety, and I knew it probably wasn’t a good idea. I didn’t drink, but he drank a lot. I reminded myself to never do it again. It’s not healthy, nor something a sober me wants to be around.

You tend to drift away from those things after a while. Early on it’s still a moving part, but it slowly dies off into the abyss. More naturally than one may really think or realize.

I love fishing, but I enjoy it more with my dad who is also a successful recovering alcoholic

rayna87

You are totally right. I am reaching out to people I’ve met along the way here, that have other interests. Somehow this girl and I became close, probably over our alternating blackouts, but she’s clearly not ready to stop and she’s bad news. Amazing what you see when you’re sober! Thank you!!

rayna87

Sober me was miserable. I sat there watching the TV above the bar, while she yelled and carried on to 2 random girls next to us, couldn’t remember why she kept picking up her phone (she kept saying she wanted to play music but never quite got to the touchtunes app), she cried at one point, over NOTHING. This is fun to people?????? I couldn’t take her home fast enough. I hope I’m able to drift away from it like you were! Thank you!

TheSoberDude

Yep, it’s truly sad. As a cop, I have to deal with drunk people every single day! Drinking stopped being fun for me. It was a temporary relief from work stress, but it created isolation, misery, fatigue, and was just down right depressing.

I just got back from a 10 mile run. While others are closing the bar down, I’m stretching, drinking a protein shake, and will get excellent REM sleep tonight.

NOW THAT’S LIVING!

August252015

Totally agree w Miss Perfumado.

I am a very adamant believer that any kind of testing ourselves is a BAD idea. You say early sober - so I don't know what that means, but I stopped finding that crap fun and in sobriety simply don't hang out with people who drink like I used to - and what sounds like your friend still does.

One of the awesome things about sobriety is that we can choose any and everything we do - I mean that literally- there is NOTHING I "have" to do....

And I'd add a comment I first heard Dee say, there can often be that let down your guard feeling creep in after a "successful" outing.

Focusing on my sobriety then recovery and building a life around only that has been the path for me.

Best to you.

StrengthNme

Way to go!

Nonsensical

You're amazing.

I'll bet you can find things to do that end more amazingly than utter disaster did not happen.

I have found that meetup(dot)com is a great way to meet people with similar interests.

Keep up the good work!!!

rayna87

Thank you so much for the kind words, and for the website! I will definitely look into it!!

rayna87

God bless you dealing with this ridiculousness everyday on the job!! Even though I was part of the ridiculousness for so many years, I had no idea how downright dumb it looks, until I saw it from sober eyes. I do not envy my friend today, that’s for sure. I enjoyed my sleep! I am looking to get into some sort of physical activity like your running...to not only fill the time I used to spend drinking, but also to try to make some amends with my body for all I’ve put it through. You’re right, that is living!!