Dry Drunk! Please Help!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 1
Dry Drunk! Please Help!!
My wife has been in recovery for almost a year now, She states she hasn't had a drink, but I have my doubts to be honest. I can't stand her being a dry drunk! Just the other day she took off again on me and I have no idea where she went. It was all because I asked her who was trying to contact her. She has a bad past of that if you know what I mean.
I told her if she's back to her old tricks again she can just leave. She never wanted to ease my fears or concerns. This has been going this way for over a year now. She doesn't take accountability for her own actions and always blames me for her problem.
When she left the other day, she took out $1,000 out of our bank account. I went to the bank today and changed to a new bank account. I can't take this anymore!!!
She could careless of my feelings or our relationship and only cares about her. I have lived with all the lies as well as everything that goes along with this monster that likes to destroy relationships / people.
Someone, please chime in with your comments. I read stories on here and their all the same with the person who is trying to help someone remain sober!!
I told her if she's back to her old tricks again she can just leave. She never wanted to ease my fears or concerns. This has been going this way for over a year now. She doesn't take accountability for her own actions and always blames me for her problem.
When she left the other day, she took out $1,000 out of our bank account. I went to the bank today and changed to a new bank account. I can't take this anymore!!!
She could careless of my feelings or our relationship and only cares about her. I have lived with all the lies as well as everything that goes along with this monster that likes to destroy relationships / people.
Someone, please chime in with your comments. I read stories on here and their all the same with the person who is trying to help someone remain sober!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Welcome!
I'm sorry for your situation, but I don't think it's your role to help your wife remain sober. That's up to her to do. And, you need to do what is right for you.
You might seek support for yourself at AlAnon in your city.
I'm sorry for your situation, but I don't think it's your role to help your wife remain sober. That's up to her to do. And, you need to do what is right for you.
You might seek support for yourself at AlAnon in your city.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 80
Sneak drinking possibly. My father did the same after a year sober. He would go into the garage and had bottles hidden every where. It’s the typical hide, shame, and embarrassment scheme. It’s true, she has got to want it, but I would be lying if I said ultimatums didn’t work.
We basically told my father that if he continues drinking, we would leave him. He wouldn’t be in our lives, and we simply wouldn’t speak to him anymore. That’s how bad it had gotten. We were not going to watch him kill himself, and then deal with the complete jerk he was while under the influence.
It worked and he’s been sober for 11 years. Maybe it’s time to sit down and say enough. The problem isn’t going to go away, and you can’t continue to live in the dysfunction.
There is always hope, but some people will never change, even if they risk losing a marriage, family, and friends.
Ultimatums are up to you, but that’s what worked for my family.
We basically told my father that if he continues drinking, we would leave him. He wouldn’t be in our lives, and we simply wouldn’t speak to him anymore. That’s how bad it had gotten. We were not going to watch him kill himself, and then deal with the complete jerk he was while under the influence.
It worked and he’s been sober for 11 years. Maybe it’s time to sit down and say enough. The problem isn’t going to go away, and you can’t continue to live in the dysfunction.
There is always hope, but some people will never change, even if they risk losing a marriage, family, and friends.
Ultimatums are up to you, but that’s what worked for my family.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Highly highly suspicious of her to withdraw 1000 dollars from your bank account whether drinking or not. What is she going to do with all that money? You say she has a bad past? Does that include drinking/drugging friends/contacts? I'm sure you've already thought of those things...
At any rate: Are you getting any real life support on how to deal with her "dry drunk" behaviours? Regardless of what she does or doesn't do, you can be doing things to help yourself and also help you deal with all of this. Check out the friends and family sections on this forum. It could be a real help to you.
At any rate: Are you getting any real life support on how to deal with her "dry drunk" behaviours? Regardless of what she does or doesn't do, you can be doing things to help yourself and also help you deal with all of this. Check out the friends and family sections on this forum. It could be a real help to you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
I'm sorry for what brings you here iarocks, but this is a place of great support and understanding.
You're very welcome in this forum, but I also suggest you check out our Family and Friends forums too.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family
Can't have enough support
D
You're very welcome in this forum, but I also suggest you check out our Family and Friends forums too.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family
Can't have enough support
D
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