BoxinRotz

Just wanted to stop in and tell you that things have went to hell very quickly. In March, he started drinking and lying again. It's like he put that DVD in and hit play. I know how this movie ends. I went over, pressed stop and I walked out.

I am so done with this. I can not control it, cure it or cause it. And I dont have to subscribe to it. I have a small home I'm getting ready to move into on Monday. I threw him off my car insurance again, and took what I could. I've lost so much because I stayed to long. We'll have been married for 7 years. Im getting to old for this stress.

He is completely out of his mind drinking a case of beer and a pint of vodka a day. Yes, A DAY! The text I've been getting have been horrible and I do not respond to them. This is just so over. I have my divorce papers ready. Just waiting on money. I am finally at peace.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. Get up and change it!

Seren

Rotzy, I'm just so sorry. I know how much you have been through with your husband. Sending light and prayers and good wishes.

Hoping you find some peace in your new home!!

dandylion

Hi Box! I am glad to hear from you...but, I am sorry that things have gone this way for you...
You have been through a lot, and I know that you have given it your best....

Such a horrible disease...and, it is not in your hands....

You are a strong woman, and I know that you must be terribly disappointed, but you will get past this. I know you will. You are a young woman and have a l ot of living ahead of you.....

I know that you have heard this..."Let go and let God".
Maybe, it will help if you look at it this way.....


I hope that you will hang around for a while....

RollTide

I've followed your story over the years and you have been through hell and back with him. I am so sorry to hear that things have gotten to this point and I admire you for doing what needs to be done.

Take care of yourself. It will get better.

BoxinRotz

Don't be sorry. At least not for me... maybe for him. He's going to be the one who loses. He's going to die from this. I've come to terms with it. When i left last year n he did the turn around because I ejected myself from the marriage, I thought it'd be enough and it was not. He did well for a few months but he would never work a program. He did take care of me when I had a total foot reconstruction with a plate n 7 screws (did it sober) but he wasted all his time n was leaving me helpless at night. Well, I need another total foot reconstruction on the other foot that is scheduled for 8/20 and he has no time and he's blitzed. I can not recover safely in that home under those conditions.

I have cared for him and cleaned up after his drunken massacres so many times but he's never really cared for me or considered my mental or emotional being because of his dumb crap. So I've decided that enough is enough and if I don't take care of me, no one will. I deserve to be healthy! I deserve to be happy! I deserve peace and quiet in my life! I deserve respect! I deserve to come home from work (a very stressful environment) and be able to relax! I can't get any of this being with him.

His quacking is outrageous and he is very angry. I see glimmers of the man I married but his demon comes out and squashes him. This is his fight and not mine. Im going to recover and I'm going to think of me. I've set personal goals and I will meet them. Im going to be ok. I can assure you that he is the fi rest n l ast alcoholic I will ever deal with. I have zero tolerance for it anymore. Im staying single and setting boundaries for myself so this never happens again. My counselor is very happy for me and the direction I've gone. I have to say, I'm very happy for myself.

BoxinRotz

I've been homeless since the 3rd too. I've been couch surfing and taking showers at the prison (my work) n eating there too. I have found good people in doing so. I had a sergeant hand me $100 because i spent my check on payday 6/2 on bills. Ive had a couch offered to me by a fellow CO who is struggling himself with an alcoholic wife who left him. My best friend has opened her home to me for a visit with my granddaughter as i type this. I have offers pouring in to help me move what stuff I do have into my new home. I have a landlady who just spent her own money on towels, bed sheets and a comforter n rugs for my new home.

I have found gems on this journey I have decided to take. I am grateful for the very littlle possessions I have kept and the good people from my work who have been helping me. LIFE is not as miserable as our As want us to believe.

FireSprite

(((((Box))))) but also,



Our very own Katniss Everdeen has returned to SR. I'm sorry it's under these conditions Box, but I am forever in awe of your strength & grit.

Welcome back.

BoxinRotz

Im just ready to move on n see what life has to offer. I can't do that with a vicious alcoholic.

firebolt

Amazing Rotz! So happy you are moving into your own comfy, peaceful space. My best to you!

BoxinRotz

Thank you. I use to have hope. I use to think we were different and that he could do it and succeed. But the last 2 years have been bad and filled with more empty promises and lies that do not propell us into the future but keep us in alcohell. I've absolutely had enough.

maia1234

BIR,
I am proud of you that you are finally "done." It will be hard to go through this, but you will end up a different person. Its amazing the acts of kindness people offer you. You know that his is the right path for you.

I am just sending you hugs and support. Life will get so much better when this is all done with. Hugs my friend, you are on the path to recovery!!

BoxinRotz

I feel better knowing I wake up without him. My granddaughter has taught me patience over the last 2 years of a custody battle between her mom n dad that I won. I destroyed his custody n got court ordered visitation in my name only. I did not add his name for a reason. I can wait out the time on the divorce. It will end soon enough.

He's pretty mad right now because I won't let him see her. I don't want her around a sloppy drunk. He told me that he'd tell her what a horrible person I am when she gets older. Im not scared of his idle threats.

His employer called the cops on him yesterday because he threatened suicide. He had cops everywhere. He's unstable. Why would I let a 5 year old around him, even supervised? I'm not.

least

Sorry you had to go thru all this hell. I hope things continue to get better for you.

suki44883

I am glad you checked in. I have thought of you several times. I am sorry things ended the way they did, but everyone knows it was for the best. Well, everyone but him. You gave him every chance, but he seems determined to self-destruct.

I am sure you will come through this just fine. Your granddaughter is very lucky to have you, and you, her.

honeypig

I also remember your story and all you've been through. I'm sorry that things didn't get better, but I'm glad you've stopped back to let us know that you're moving on w/your life. I know you'll be better off, and I'm not surprised that you have so many who are helping you.

dandylion

Box....If I am following, correctly....does you granddaughter live with you, now....with you having custody?...(lol...I get easily confused)…..

Refiner

BoxinRotz I am so happy you have cut the cancer from your life. May you find much peace and serenity in your new abode!

BoxinRotz

Dandelion, she does not live with me full time. I get mandatory, court ordered visitation. The daughter n I had a falling out n I called cys on her. In that time, someone c allked daddy n told him she was in hot water. Daddy hasn't seen baby for 3.5 years. He's a full blown heroin addict who is, at this pointg hiding it from me. My daughter signed over 50% of her custody away to him willy nilly. She came to me crying. I hired an attorney who is like a pitbull with lipstick on. I proved standing in the courts and was invited in to be a participant in the custody of the child. I court ordered my daughter, him n his mother to take hair follicle drug test at my expense. Daughter took it. He n his mother refused which is a false positive. He was again ordered to take it. He refused. Again, false positive. The 3rd time he took it n said he'd be positive for marijuana. Mediator told him she's not checking for it but heroin. He reluctantly took the test asnd came back hot as hell for heroin. On that day, I destroyed him in court and was awarded 1 24hr period once a week with her. Daughter was in contempt several times. The last hearing we had, she was told she'd be thrown in jail n fined if she didn't follow it. The baby is NOT alloiwed with dad unsupervised. If I find out that she is, I will petition the court for emergency custody. These people are bad people. My daughter knows I'm not joking. He hates me as does his mother. But I don't care. She is my pride n joy n I will take on anyone who puts her in danger. Just sayin...

amy55

Rotz,

Many (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) to you, you have been through so much. Good luck with your new home, I also moved this month.

I'm just so happy for you !!!!!!!

amy

dandylion

Bis...I appreciate you explaining that. I admire that you have fought so hard for the welfare of y our granddaughter. She is lucky to have you as a grandmother...
It will all pay off, in the future....
I think, that, going forward....your life will become much more peaceful….

You are doing all that you can do...
Keep the Faith.

***I owe so much to my grandmother...I credit her for what she did for me as a child...and, I love good grandmothers, everywhere!