ANewDawn61318

So here is the thing. I’ve had two kids and had zero trouble staying sober while pregnant (the most recent was just five months ago) so I know it’s not a total physical dependency. BUT I struggle now that I’m no longer pregnant. What’s the deal? I guess it’s just a will power thing and what makes it worth it to me?

rich27

What is causing you to drink? I drank to forget negativity in my life and to celebrate accomplishments.

Forward12

Were you heavily drinking before pregnancy? It's not uncommon for people to abuse alcohol in an unhealthy way to deal with life's stresses.
Though one thing is for sure is the longer you drink, the worse it gets. Especially with children, it's best to get yourself sober.

Obladi

I had no problem whatsoever staying sober while I was pregnant. But I wasn't what I would consider a "problem drinker" before that. What I can tell you now looking back is that the moment I started to feel a bit of concern over my drinking would have been the very best time to simply stop. Since that worry started with me I've been on a downward trajectory...

Doesn't matter if you're an alcoholic or not - if you are concerned about your drinking this is a good place to be.

O

least

If drinking is causing problems, it might be a good idea to quit drinking. If you find it hard to stop drinking, get some help, whether it be AA or some other program, or ask your doctor for help in getting sober.

Anna

If alcohol is causing problems in your life, then stopping drinking is the solution.

doggonecarl

Is the "Evening" you starting to negotiate with the"Morning" you to drink?

fini

hi there, ANewDawn,

i stayed sober easily through two pregnancies also and then started drinking again.
later, i realized it was easy be ause i knew there would be an end to it, that it was in no way a real quit but just an interruption.

no way of knowing if it is "just willpower" or a matter of what it's worth to you until you are determined to stop and see what happens, what you do.

and it sounds like you might be finding out that something else/more might be required. Lots of folks here following different paths ....stick around.

Berrybean

Well, i suppose when you were pregnant alcohol was just 'off the table' as it were. And you had something different to give you hope and to think about.

I've been sober for 4 years and 3 months now. Alcohol is 'off the table'. I have accepted that once I start drinking I can't trust myself to stop when I should.
This means that if I were to start drinking again today, then I would quickly be back to where I was and deeper.

AA has plenty of women members who managed to stay sober when they were pregnant only to lose control when they started up again. My sponsor (over30 years sober) is one of these. What makes us alcoholic is what happens when we drink. We can do amazing stuff when we're sober.

BB

Stayingsassy

I'm an alcoholic and I've known that since my 20's. when I count sober time I dont even count the 9-10 months I spent pregnant x 3 kids. It was my babies' sobriety not mine. I did it only for them and returned to drinking after having them each time.

Just because i could refrain from drinking while pregnant did not change the fact that I had, and continue to have, the addiction to alcohol.

Longlady

I too had no problem not drinking while pregnant and have asked myself the same question.

Whether I'm an alcoholic or not for me it's not a healthy habit and I wish to stop.

Gottalife

Don’t go thinking that alcoholism is a question of willpower or lack of it. Alcoholics have above average willpower. Just try to stop one from drinking who doesn’t want to stop, and you will find out how much willpower they have

tomsteve

Am I an alcoholic or just poor will power?
how about choice 3: both?

ProfessorD

I see a lot of alcoholic mothers wondering about this. My two cents: alcoholics can abstain from alcohol if they have impetus and motivation. Everyone here is a testament to that fact. I'd guess during your pregnancies, your children were a sort of "higher power" or stand-in, enabling you to quit drinking temporarily.

Getting sober would then just mean making that a more permanent, conscious state of being?

Gottalife

But the will, so strong in every other respect, is amazingly weakened when it comes to alcohol. Willpower is of no practical use at all for the alcoholic.

VigilanceNow

I think the fact that you are questioning it is a red flag. No one but you can make this designation, and I wouldn’t dwell on various definitions/symptoms/indications of the “typical” alcoholic. It should be as simple as others have said: if it is causing problems for you, or you fear that it will in the future, stopping is the only answer. I went for years refusing to accept the word alcoholic, because I had an image in my head that was decidedly not me. Since then, I’ve learned that alcoholics come in many forms, and i most certainly was one.

Congrats on new baby btw!

Fly N Buy

Sometime in my first year of sobriety, I conceded to my inner most self I was alcoholic. When I admitted I was alcoholic, it became unanimous.

Clearly stated here by others, if alcohol is causing problems in your life (and of course this effects all those around us and all we do) then make a decision, take the action needed and find the freedom you deserve.

I never could have envisioned my life without drinking. Now it is difficult to imagine stumbling around in fog daily.

Welcome

entropy1964

I had no problem staying sober when I was pregnant. I am most definitely an alcoholic. I should have quit when it started becoming an issue. I didn't because I thought I could control it. I can't.

I actually have incredible willpower. Except where alcohol is concerned. And the power and control it takes to manage and function as an active alcoholic? Huge. if I can't just walk away from alcohol,, and I'm questioning my consumption, I'm an alcoholic.

August252015

^^^This.

A "drinking problem" of any kind that causes a concern, if honestly assessing it, is not a matter of will power, in my experience, hearing about others' and learning about addiction.

In addition to the good comments above, I echo a few in particular like once you start wondering, you don't go back to the lack of concern of a normal drinker. Regardless of pregnancy, a medical or Rx directive you follow that specifies no drinking, or any other situation on the planet that I have ever heard of or personally encountered.

It sounds like a good time to plan another "break" - maybe 9mo just like you did while pregnant?- and see if you can do it, while learning about drinking, addiction, recovery and the like earnestly.

Sticking around here and looking for similarities you have with others- not differences- is a great idea for all of us, too.

And your if it's worth it question? Is it worth it to you to live free of the concerns about your drinking that you have? To have the best, healthiest life you can? To....essentially, are you worth it? Therefore by extension your family also worth it? Perhaps thoughts to consider- like I and many others have found, being sober and if needed, like I do, living in recovery (a different animal) is so beyond "worth it" I can't put it into enough words.

Lipstuck

I was a risky drinker who managed to only drink the occasional wine during pregnancy and have gone right back to risky drinking after, to my dismay.
I know I harp on hormones but many women who don't have alcohol problems before pregnancy become problem drinkers after-hours the combination of crazy hormones, PPD, and exhaustion make a glass of wine or 4 very tempting. Best of luck to you- if you figure out what helps let me know!