Catldy

Hi All,

I haven't been on here for a while because I simply just gave up for a few weeks. No black outs or anything just got back into that viscous cycle of going to the store, beating myself up because I'm back 2 days later, going to another store hoping I don't run into anyone that knows I was in rehab months ago and repeat. Well I haven't had a drink since Sunday. I feel good but I didn't drink because I couldn't. I didn't have any money...... now i do and my AV is ALREADY at it!!! I want too wake up like I did the past few days. Refreshed. I didn't even have trouble sleeping so that's not an issue. I hope I can make it through the day

comtnman740

Can you get to a meeting today?

Anna

I'm glad you're back!

My suggestion is to plan for this evening. Make a plan that will help you be distracted from the voice and drinking. Maybe plan something you don't usually do in the evening. Going out for a long walk could help. You can do this!

january161992

keep in mind ...

its the 1st drink that gets us drunk not the 20th

we cant get drunk without that 1st drink

our choice is between miserable unhappy drunken drinking and all the consequences

or

not taking 1 drink

God bless

Radix

I second this advice. Make a small plan as part of your big plan... the small plan can be to do something that occupies yourself in a healthy way. You can get your AV to quiet down by doing something you can be proud of, like exercising or taking a long walk.

Catldy

Thank you all for your suggestions. I'm going to take a walk after work. I usually don't do that. I can't make a meeting but I can do some reading like I did yesterday.

lessgravity

What did you learn in rehab that can aid you now? I imagine you went thru some serious experiences that should be valuable now. What can you draw on?

Catldy

It's was easy to get the concept of being sober in rehab. I was in a safe bubble (which was good) What I'm realizing now is that I was also out of my comfort zone but around people in the same situation. Came home to the same life. Gotta figure out how to get to more meetings. And change things up. I am in touch with some people from rehab and I feel like I just can't take this one step that will lead me to what sober people have.

Dee74

what do you thinks stopping you catldy?

D

Catldy

That's it. I feel like If i really go for it I will leave people behind. and not know how to accept the good things that I know are there for me

Catldy

Thank you for that. I feel like I haven't gotten over that first time off not caving in after a few days. I'll keep posting

Berrybean

Could you contact someone from the meetings for a chat and maybe even agree to meet up for coffee and a chat? Or just talk on the phone for a short time - it does make a difference. You could tell em all the crazy **** your AV keeps spouting at ya and have a laugh at it together. That's powerful stuff!

Also, there are thousands of speaker recovery share recordings. In the first month of my sobriety I always listened to these on my commute home. They kept me in the zone on my non-meeting days and meant that I arrived home with some resolve intact. This is where I get mine from... http://www.recoveryaudio.org

Recognising your AV for what it is really is a huge part of the battle. It's not gonna be quiet for some time yet, but you've recognised it, and are starting to believe that you realky dont have to be it's puppet, so you're doing great. Just because you can hear it, doesn't mean youre gonna act on it, so try to stay calm.

Hope you post again later. Stay in the middle of the lifeboat.

BB

Delilah1

How are you doing tonight Catldy?