selpats

I'm writing this in a panic. I have been with my partner for 5 years, since I was 20 and he was 23. He is a recovering heroin addict, and I have used this site multiple times before for support. The last couple years, however, have been spent in happiness and sobriety. Tonight, I couldn't sleep. I went to use his bathroom (We each have our own), and I found in his toiletries under the sink, a bottle of pills I don't recall seeing before. The prescription on the bottle was for Clonidine. It was prescribed in 2015, expired in 2016. Inside the bottle I found 1 Clonidine pill. The majority of the other pills were Trazodone and Promethazine Hydrochloride, probably about 20 pills total. I have never heard of any of these pills, but from my research, all 3 have the potential to be abused by opiate users. I really want to know if anyone has ever heard of heroin abusers using these pills? Obviously, it's fishy that he would have all these pills in an expired pill bottle for a different pill. I haven't yet been able to speak with him about it, given he is asleep. Given my lack of knowledge of the pills, I don't know what to expect. Help, please!

Seren

Hello selpats,

I wish I had an answer for you, but hopefully someone will who knows more about opiate abuse than I. I just wanted you to know that you were heard. I am sorry for your panic. Try not to "awfulize" about what it may or may not mean for now.

Breathe...hang in there!!

atalose

Given his past history of heroin addiction, my best guess is that the Clonidine and Promethazine Hydrochloride are being used as anti-nausea meds for withdrawal. Trazodone is used for depression. And yes it is fishy that these are being hidden.

Sorry!!

tomsteve

the only time i had prescription pills in bottles they didnt belong in was when i was abusing prescription pills.

selpats

Thank you all for your replies. Does anyone know if any of these pills can be used to get high? He has been sober for about two years and is on Suboxone, so he has no reason to be using medication for withdraw.

atalose

That you are aware of! Addicts find all kind of ways to abuse nearly any type of drug. What about his behavior? Any sleep issues? Any unaccounted time, money? Etc.

tomsteve

an addict is capable of abusing ANYTHING.

selpats

Honestly, I was completely shocked when I found the pills. His behavior has not been out of the ordinary. He's been acting completely normal. I have no reason to suspect he's using other than finding those pills. I am going to speak with him about it when he gets off work. I'm hoping that he has an explanation that does. It involve a relapse.

atalose

It will be interesting to hear his explanation. I do hope you stick around.

selpats

I tried to talk to him. He said they were probably old pills from when he got out of rehab, but that he didn't know what they were. He got angry at my for "snooping" and "accusing" him of not being clean. I did neither, seeing as I found them on accident, and tried to be as delicate as possible bringing it up. I guess I believe him, seeing as I haven't noticed any behavioral changes, and he does still take his Subs as prescribed. But I am disappointed by the way he handled it. It's been a whole day since our conversation, and he isn't speaking to me. I was so upset that I packed a bag and left to spend the night with my parents tonight. He didn't even ask me where I was going, just let me walk out the door without saying a word. An addiction counselor once told me that addicts have trouble empathizing with others. I feel that he has not yet addressed the effects his addiction has had on his family, and is not even trying to empathize with how I'm feeling. Even though he's clean, there is still so much emotional baggage to work on. It's rough.

atalose

Ok, so if they were old pills………….

One, why would they still even be there.

Two, why his anger and defensiveness?

Three, what kind of a recovery program has he been working? Because he really doesn’t sound like someone who is in recovery.

Hechosedrugs

My first thought was that if his story he would have seen this bottle as a threat to his recovery. He wouldn't have been angry at you for snooping. He would have treated that bottle like a murder weapon he didn't want to get his fingerprints on and asked you to get rid of it. Addicts in recovery recognize that they are one bad decision away from returning to the way they were. They keep away from people, places and things that could tempt them like their life depends on it- because it does.

I hope you will stick around and keep posting. I really hope you will attend some face to face meetings, too. Living with an addict, even one who is in recovery, can be very difficult. You need people in your life who understand.

All the best to you.

SmallButMighty

In my personal experience, that kind of defensiveness, where things got turned back on to me like I had done something wrong when simply making an inquiry , was always indicative of my XAH being guilty of whatever wrong he'd been getting up to...of course all the while, lying about his sobriety.

Your guy "not knowing" what those 3 types of pills were, or where they came from, that he had in his possession... sounds pretty fishy to me... but then I've been pretty jaded by the addicts in my life.

Good luck to you. Loving (and trying to trust an addict) is a tough road.

I hope you stick around here with us. We get it. Hugs.

selpats

Thank you al for your replies. I agree that getting defensive and saying he didn't know what the pills were is fishy. I too have had him give similar excuses back when he was using. I threw the pills away. However, I have no other evidence to support that he may be using. Literally nothing. I honestly think that it might just be an emotional thing at this point. He's clean but hasn't dealt with the emotional feelings that's caused him to use. He's only about 3 years clean, so he's still working on it. I know he is sick of being harassed about whether or not he's clean (I didn't harass him, but..tough luck!). He has expressed in the past that he doesn't like being reminded of it all the time, and that he feels like people don't recognize the years of sobriety he has under his belt. As far as not knowing the pills were there...it's not completely out of the rehlm of possibility. I just have a hard time believing he could be using when I have nothing else to suggest that. But who knows.

atalose

You skipped over the question on what kind of a recovery program he’s using or if he’s just doing it all on his own with no outside help what’s so ever.

What kind of a boundary do you have thought out in the event he does begin using again?

I remember feeling naive and foolish when I discovered that my ex had been using for months and months before I finally recognized and accepted he was. He managed to hid it well for a long time until he couldn’t hide it anymore because it was so obvious.

SmallButMighty

Selpats, my advice would be for you to trust your gut.

You know what you know. Trust your instincts... but try not to shush them if they are telling you something you don't want to hear. Been there done that, and suffered for it.

Regardless of what he is doing (or not doing) for his own recovery, I sure hope you are doing positive things for your own growth and stability. Support group, counselor, something...

ItsTime4Me

I haven't posted my story on here yet, but here to chime in that the medications that you found are also used by doctors to help ease withdrawal symptoms. If they're from 2015 and he's been 3 years clean, it seems about right that he may not have remembered them but he had a legitimate use for them. He may have medically detoxed at home by using these prescriptions as my husband did before he was able to receive the Vivitrol shot. It didn't work out too well for him, but they were definitely prescribed by the Dr treating him for the addiction.
Always trust your gut, but as far as this goes, he may be telling the truth.

johnnie360

I'm scared for you and not your relapsing sober addict. He's not your addict. He's just an addict. He is living the life he chooses while you let it destroy you. He's not scared for you. You are a resource to him. He will put his drugs above you each and every time. I hope you can heal and put this guy behind you and find someone worthy of your love instead of living in fear of what "your" addict doing or not doing. Ill make it simple for you. What he's doing is getting high. What he's not doing is caring how you feel about it. Sucks but true. Most of these people never get off drugs and when you are no longer of use he will move on to someone else who will enable him to get high in peace until they can't take it. God your what in your 20's? Move on from this. Whatever is in you that would chase after an addict who will always be one bad day from relapse... Fix it. If the problem is your self esteem then change your life so you never have to go through the hell of being with a selfish drug addict.

selpats

Well...that sure is a lot of assuming from something you read on the internet. My BOYFRIEND is a loving, caring and wonderful human being who also happens to be a recovering addict. He has been sober and in therapy for 3 years trying his best. Yes, I found pills and that scared me, given his past, but as other people are suggesting on this post, I am going to trust my gut because I believe him. If I had another reason to believe he was using, other than finding some expired pills, then we might have a problem. I did not ask for your opinion on my relationship, and I find your advice abrasive. There's no way your could know as much as you claim to know from reading one paragraph about my life and situation. Yikes, you have clearly been burned, as many of us have. Please stop projecting your insecurities on other people. Thanks.

selpats

Sorry I did not see this. He was in meetings for the first year of recovery, but he's pretty shy, so he didn't feel comfortable in a group setting. Since then, he has been seeing an addiction. counselor. I see one as well. He also has meetings with his Soboxone doctor once a month and is on UAs through that doctor. This is another reason why I don't feel like he's using, because he has been a passing his drug tests.

Honestly, if I found out he was using the only thing I know I would do is reach out to his family. Beyond that, I'm really not sure.