Fear of falling off the wagon
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 60
Fear of falling off the wagon
I'm 57 days sober, but the last few days I've been really struggling with cravings. I've been trying to get out, to a running club and a meditation group, but I feel that I don't have the energy to do much else other than avoid drinking.
I find myself thinking of drinking for much of the day, especially at 5pm. I thought that after I got through the first couple of weeks, that things would get easier but things are much harder now after 2 months.
I've never been sober this long and I'm kind of just waiting til I find myself in a situation where drink is available and I'm lacking in energy so I can fall off the wagon and relax without constantly needing to be on guard. Does it get easier ?
I find myself thinking of drinking for much of the day, especially at 5pm. I thought that after I got through the first couple of weeks, that things would get easier but things are much harder now after 2 months.
I've never been sober this long and I'm kind of just waiting til I find myself in a situation where drink is available and I'm lacking in energy so I can fall off the wagon and relax without constantly needing to be on guard. Does it get easier ?
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
Don't drink!! I had 51 days and gave into those cravings, and I so so regretted it almost immediately. I did not enjoy my drinks, and it took me months to get fully back on board with my sobriety. Stay strong. It's so frustrating to start the relapse/withdrawals cycle all over again.
What can you do to strengthen your recovery plan so you aren't waiting around for what feels like an inevitable relapse?
What can you do to strengthen your recovery plan so you aren't waiting around for what feels like an inevitable relapse?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I understand.
It's rough in early sobriety when the reason we quit in the first place start to fade away.
It took me many attempts to stop drinking.
It did get easier for me, and everyone is different, but it took awhile and support from AA.
I highly recommend you try an AA meeting , if you haven't yet, and are not averse to going.
Remember why you quit in the first place.
I know when I started to drink after a few months, I was right back up to speed and drinking like I had never stopped along with all the misery that goes along with drinking.
Just remember, you never have to drink again.
It's rough in early sobriety when the reason we quit in the first place start to fade away.
It took me many attempts to stop drinking.
It did get easier for me, and everyone is different, but it took awhile and support from AA.
I highly recommend you try an AA meeting , if you haven't yet, and are not averse to going.
Remember why you quit in the first place.
I know when I started to drink after a few months, I was right back up to speed and drinking like I had never stopped along with all the misery that goes along with drinking.
Just remember, you never have to drink again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 36
Hi Andy,
I'm at 48 days, so slightly behind where you've brilliantly got to.
I have to say, I'm feeling that little bit more like I can do this, almost like feeling more generally at ease. I still have the odd bad day here and there, sometimes for a few days, but it seems to pass.
Keep on track mate if you can - just try and remember how dreadful you felt after drinking. I think when we look back we 'cherry pick' all the good aspects and forget the sinister things.
Let me know how you get on & respect for the 57 days !!
Best Regards,
Johnnie.
I'm at 48 days, so slightly behind where you've brilliantly got to.
I have to say, I'm feeling that little bit more like I can do this, almost like feeling more generally at ease. I still have the odd bad day here and there, sometimes for a few days, but it seems to pass.
Keep on track mate if you can - just try and remember how dreadful you felt after drinking. I think when we look back we 'cherry pick' all the good aspects and forget the sinister things.
Let me know how you get on & respect for the 57 days !!
Best Regards,
Johnnie.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 60
Thanks - I guess I'm posting to SR for support. I look at the app on my phone each day as the number of sober days increases, and I don't want to lose those.
I haven't been to an AA meeting yet. I'm a bit introverted and it takes a lot of energy to meet new people and I don't have a lot of energy right now. I've a lot of things on at the moment too (although that does sound like an excuse).
I have 3 sober buddies that I'm meeting up with though and it's good to talk to those who I know understand and get some more support.
I will strengthen my recovery plan. I have a vacation next week and I definitely need some relaxing although there may be further temptation too. Thanks for the replies - I'll continue to stay close to SR :-).
I haven't been to an AA meeting yet. I'm a bit introverted and it takes a lot of energy to meet new people and I don't have a lot of energy right now. I've a lot of things on at the moment too (although that does sound like an excuse).
I have 3 sober buddies that I'm meeting up with though and it's good to talk to those who I know understand and get some more support.
I will strengthen my recovery plan. I have a vacation next week and I definitely need some relaxing although there may be further temptation too. Thanks for the replies - I'll continue to stay close to SR :-).
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
It's common to be exhausted by early recovery, fatigued by the constant thoughts of drinking or not drinking.
Does it get easier ? Yes, but not if you drink. You have to go though the whole struggle of early recovery again. That is if you are able to put down the drink once you pick it up. Have you not read the threads here from folks who relapse and can't get back to day one?
"Falling" off the wagon implies an accident. Your drinking won't be an accident. You'll be jumping off the wagon. And you seem to be putting a plan in place. Time to redouble your recovery
Originally Posted by andy1 
Does it get easier ?
"Falling" off the wagon implies an accident. Your drinking won't be an accident. You'll be jumping off the wagon. And you seem to be putting a plan in place. Time to redouble your recovery
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
Sounds good! Be careful with your vacation though...my relapse followed immediately after a vacation. I'm projecting onto you here, I know 
But it really is so great you've made it this far! I don't want you to have to reset.
But it really is so great you've made it this far! I don't want you to have to reset.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
I cant add anything to the advice above , I wish I had posted prior to my relapse .
You have done the right thing by reaching out here .
ProfessorD said "It's so frustrating to start the relapse/withdrawals cycle all over again. " This is so so painfully true .
You have done the right thing by reaching out here .
ProfessorD said "It's so frustrating to start the relapse/withdrawals cycle all over again. " This is so so painfully true .
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
"Falling" off the wagon implies an accident. Your drinking won't be an accident. You'll be jumping off the wagon. And you seem to be putting a plan in place. Time to redouble your recovery
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Hello Andy,
Maybe change the mindset :
"I feel that I don't have the energy to do much else other than avoid drinking......... I'm kind of just waiting til I find myself in a situation where drink is available and I'm lacking in energy so I can fall off the wagon and relax "
this is exactly the time that in my case I have to get up get out go for a walk a run a swim go do something with my daughter. Basically beat it.
We alcoholics dont have off switches. It will end badly if you let your guard down. Protect your 57 days cause they are priceless.
Maybe change the mindset :
"I feel that I don't have the energy to do much else other than avoid drinking......... I'm kind of just waiting til I find myself in a situation where drink is available and I'm lacking in energy so I can fall off the wagon and relax "
this is exactly the time that in my case I have to get up get out go for a walk a run a swim go do something with my daughter. Basically beat it.
We alcoholics dont have off switches. It will end badly if you let your guard down. Protect your 57 days cause they are priceless.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Cravings are rough, especially if there is any reservation or contingency to drink embedded in my psyche. I latch on to that. Then the obsession takes over.
I have found that the only thing drinking does is relieve that craving, that itch that I can't scratch, for just a moment....and then its back. So the drinking in and of itself actually doesn't feel good. As a matter of fact many will say, I don't even like drinking. I am the same. I am looking for that craving/obsession to let up. Acceptance, that I cannot drink, not matter what and that I won't change my mind. I say it everyday, usually a couple of times. Honestly, its powerful when used as a mantra. Now when I have that evasive 'thought' of drinking, that phrase pops out almost automatically and the craving or thought passes. But acceptance is absolutely key. There is no situation that would require drinking. None.
I have found that the only thing drinking does is relieve that craving, that itch that I can't scratch, for just a moment....and then its back. So the drinking in and of itself actually doesn't feel good. As a matter of fact many will say, I don't even like drinking. I am the same. I am looking for that craving/obsession to let up. Acceptance, that I cannot drink, not matter what and that I won't change my mind. I say it everyday, usually a couple of times. Honestly, its powerful when used as a mantra. Now when I have that evasive 'thought' of drinking, that phrase pops out almost automatically and the craving or thought passes. But acceptance is absolutely key. There is no situation that would require drinking. None.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Cravings are just thoughts and thoughts can't pull out a wallet or pour a drink or pick up a glass, or pour liquid into your mouth, right.
A thought will pass. Just let it flow like the waves, up and back.
Being tired could be just part of early sobriety or it could be part of an unrelated issue like relationship or job problems or poor nutrition or lack of exercise.
It could also just be the way you are looking at things. AA meetings are good for that part.
Keep it going.
Keep working at making life as good as you can without a drink. In a year all this will be past and forgotten.
A thought will pass. Just let it flow like the waves, up and back.
Being tired could be just part of early sobriety or it could be part of an unrelated issue like relationship or job problems or poor nutrition or lack of exercise.
It could also just be the way you are looking at things. AA meetings are good for that part.
Keep it going.
Keep working at making life as good as you can without a drink. In a year all this will be past and forgotten.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Lakeside, Arizona
Posts: 1,138
Hang in there! Keep at it! I broke three times right around the 60 day mark, 60 days is a really long time.
It's hard for a while, but you've put some water under the bridge now so keep your head down and don't get discouraged! We are all different, but the first 4 months were really hard for me.
It does get easier. I'm coming on 16 months now and feeling really good.
It's hard for a while, but you've put some water under the bridge now so keep your head down and don't get discouraged! We are all different, but the first 4 months were really hard for me.
It does get easier. I'm coming on 16 months now and feeling really good.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,337
Frickaflip233 and Bimini
Such great advice!!
I have a sober date of 5/28/2018,
My cigarette quit date is10/31/1987
It took at least a year for me to stop thinking about cigarettes 24/7. It gets less severe as time goes on
I never would have believed I would be able to stop smoking for 30 years But I have!!
And I’m hoping and praying that the same will hold true for my alcohol addiction .
Hope this is helpful to my SR family also
Free
Such great advice!!
I have a sober date of 5/28/2018,
My cigarette quit date is10/31/1987
It took at least a year for me to stop thinking about cigarettes 24/7. It gets less severe as time goes on
I never would have believed I would be able to stop smoking for 30 years But I have!!
And I’m hoping and praying that the same will hold true for my alcohol addiction .
Hope this is helpful to my SR family also
Free
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I totally agree that white knuckling is exhausting and wearying. Andy1
make a plan
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
and take note of these cravings tips
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
Relapse is not inevitable and it's not necessary for recovery - you can stay sober
D
make a plan
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
and take note of these cravings tips
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
Relapse is not inevitable and it's not necessary for recovery - you can stay sober
D
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
I haven't been to an AA meeting yet. I'm a bit introverted
Go to an AA meeting and add AA to the list of tools in your sobriety tool box.
You don't have to talk at an AA meeting, just listen.
(Although if you go to enough meetings you will surprise yourself by opening up).
Go to an AA meeting and add AA to the list of tools in your sobriety tool box.
You don't have to talk at an AA meeting, just listen.
(Although if you go to enough meetings you will surprise yourself by opening up).
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