I Think I've Turned a Corner
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 994
I Think I've Turned a Corner
Yesterday my exah turned up at a restaurant I was with a friend in with one of our son's in tow. Exah had left his live in rehab for a few hours to come out and get drunk. Am not sure why they allow that but it's none of my business. It was clear to me he was drunk. He sat down and proceeded to make comments and behave in ways that would previously have mortified me.
I did not care! He no longer bothers me. That for me is monumental.
I did not care! He no longer bothers me. That for me is monumental.
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: St Louis, MO
Posts: 539
Congratulations! Your exah's drinking/alcoholism is just that...your exah's drinking/alcoholism. Nothing changed in YOUR day except you saw your exah and witnessed their program was not working for them. Sad for sure, but nothing you can do about it. Both of your lives go on. Exah making his choices and you making yours. I hope your son is feeling like you!
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 994
Thanks everyone. The strangest thing is I get on with him now better then I ever did. I've no expectations and he drinks on his own time and not with my money so it almost like he's a sporadic friend I shake my head at ie Yesterday my autistic son went to a sibling's birthday in another town. Exah got wind of this from my other son.
Phone convo went as this:-
Exah Hello. B's going on the train on his own today isn't he?
Me. Yes am at the station putting him on it now but tbh I think he could do this himself in future. He bought his own ticket and food for the journey and I just trotted behind him.
Exah. No way. That station is full of rogues and drunks ( no dear you are not here). Do you want me to meet him off the train? ( exah is where he was going)
Me. No thanks. His sister is meeting him.
Eaah. Are you sure?
Me. Yes. We have done this many, many times. ( when you were drunk and incommunicado for months.) He's fine about it and she will be waiting to collect him.
Exah. Ok. Well if you are sure. Am not happy about it myself but OK.
Bless him. He pops up and has no idea what has been going on for months and months. His boys grew up but he missed it. I just to get angry but now it's water off a ducks back.
Phone convo went as this:-
Exah Hello. B's going on the train on his own today isn't he?
Me. Yes am at the station putting him on it now but tbh I think he could do this himself in future. He bought his own ticket and food for the journey and I just trotted behind him.
Exah. No way. That station is full of rogues and drunks ( no dear you are not here). Do you want me to meet him off the train? ( exah is where he was going)
Me. No thanks. His sister is meeting him.
Eaah. Are you sure?
Me. Yes. We have done this many, many times. ( when you were drunk and incommunicado for months.) He's fine about it and she will be waiting to collect him.
Exah. Ok. Well if you are sure. Am not happy about it myself but OK.
Bless him. He pops up and has no idea what has been going on for months and months. His boys grew up but he missed it. I just to get angry but now it's water off a ducks back.
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: California
Posts: 467
Originally Posted by Ladybird579 
Thanks everyone. The strangest thing is I get on with him now better then I ever did. I've no expectations and he drinks on his own time and not with my money so it almost like he's a sporadic friend I shake my head at ie Yesterday my autistic son went to a sibling's birthday in another town. Exah got wind of this from my other son.
Phone convo went as this:-
Exah Hello. B's going on the train on his own today isn't he?
Me. Yes am at the station putting him on it now but tbh I think he could do this himself in future. He bought his own ticket and food for the journey and I just trotted behind him.
Exah. No way. That station is full of rogues and drunks ( no dear you are not here). Do you want me to meet him off the train? ( exah is where he was going)
Me. No thanks. His sister is meeting him.
Eaah. Are you sure?
Me. Yes. We have done this many, many times. ( when you were drunk and incommunicado for months.) He's fine about it and she will be waiting to collect him.
Exah. Ok. Well if you are sure. Am not happy about it myself but OK.
Bless him. He pops up and has no idea what has been going on for months and months. His boys grew up but he missed it. I just to get angry but now it's water off a ducks back.
Phone convo went as this:-
Exah Hello. B's going on the train on his own today isn't he?
Me. Yes am at the station putting him on it now but tbh I think he could do this himself in future. He bought his own ticket and food for the journey and I just trotted behind him.
Exah. No way. That station is full of rogues and drunks ( no dear you are not here). Do you want me to meet him off the train? ( exah is where he was going)
Me. No thanks. His sister is meeting him.
Eaah. Are you sure?
Me. Yes. We have done this many, many times. ( when you were drunk and incommunicado for months.) He's fine about it and she will be waiting to collect him.
Exah. Ok. Well if you are sure. Am not happy about it myself but OK.
Bless him. He pops up and has no idea what has been going on for months and months. His boys grew up but he missed it. I just to get angry but now it's water off a ducks back.
Yesterday I took my boys to the beach for the day. He asked that I let him know when we got there. I sent him a pic of my boys playing in the water. He calls to me lecture me on how to watch boys while they play because the tide could take them out to sea so I need to be watching them closely. This man has missed doctors appt, hospital visits, kinder graduations etc...now he is lecturing me on how to take care of my kids. I didn't let it bother me and we hung up. I haven't heard from him since so him being soooo concerned about their safety is a joke.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 994
He calls to me lecture me on how to watch boys while they play because the tide could take them out to sea so I need to be watching them closely.
Yes I get the lectures too. Amazing considering under his care he set fire to our house and I had the "pleasure" of getting 7 kids, 8 cats and a dog out at 4 am while he was too drunk to do anything but be dragged down the stairs. He's done all sort of dangerous things that could have put them at risk under the influence but to him they don't count cos he can't remember.
Yes I get the lectures too. Amazing considering under his care he set fire to our house and I had the "pleasure" of getting 7 kids, 8 cats and a dog out at 4 am while he was too drunk to do anything but be dragged down the stairs. He's done all sort of dangerous things that could have put them at risk under the influence but to him they don't count cos he can't remember.
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: California
Posts: 467
Originally Posted by Ladybird579
He calls to me lecture me on how to watch boys while they play because the tide could take them out to sea so I need to be watching them closely.
Yes I get the lectures too. Amazing considering under his care he set fire to our house and I had the "pleasure" of getting 7 kids, 8 cats and a dog out at 4 am while he was too drunk to do anything but be dragged down the stairs. He's done all sort of dangerous things that could have put them at risk under the influence but to him they don't count cos he can't remember.
Yes I get the lectures too. Amazing considering under his care he set fire to our house and I had the "pleasure" of getting 7 kids, 8 cats and a dog out at 4 am while he was too drunk to do anything but be dragged down the stairs. He's done all sort of dangerous things that could have put them at risk under the influence but to him they don't count cos he can't remember.
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