Dave42001

Happy Thursday!

June 7

Daily Reflections

LONG-TERM HOPE

Since most of us are born with an abundance of natural desires, it isn't
strange that we often let these far exceed their intended purpose.
When they drive us blindly, or we willfully demand that they supply us
with more satisfactions or pleasures than are possible or due us, that is
the point at which we depart from the degree of perfection that God
wishes for us here on earth. That is the measure of our character
defects, or, if you wish, of our sins.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 65

This is where long-term hope is born and perspective is gained, both of
the nature of my illness and the path of my recovery. The beauty of
A.A. lies in knowing that my life, with God's help, will improve. The
A.A. journey becomes richer, the understanding becomes truth, the
dreams become realities and today becomes forever.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Alcoholism is a progressive illness. We go through the three stages of
social drinking, trouble drinking, and merry-go-round drinking. We
land in hospitals and jails. We eventually lose our homes, our families,
and our self-respect. Yes, alcoholism is a progressive illness and there
are only three ends to it--the insane asylum, the morgue, or total
abstinence. Will I choose not to take the first drink?

Meditation For The Day

You not only can live a new life but you also can grow in grace and
power and beauty. Reach ever forward and upward after the things of
the spirit. In the animal world, the very form of an animal changes to
enable it to reach that upon which it delights to feed. Your whole
character changes as you reach upward for the things of the spirit for
beauty, for love, for honesty, for purity, and for unselfishness.
Reaching after these things of the spirit, your whole nature becomes
changed so that you can best receive and delight in the wonders of the
abundant life.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may reach forward and upward. I pray that my character
may be changed by this reaching upward for the things of the spirit.

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As Bill Sees It

Tolerance in Practice, p. 158

"We found that the principles of tolerance and love had to be emphasized in actual
practice. We can never say (or insinuate) to anyone that he must agree to our formula or
be excommunicated. The atheist may stand up in an A.A. meeting still denying the Deity,
yet reporting how vastly he has been changed in attitude and outlook. Much experience
tells us he will presently change his mind about God, but nobody tells him he must do so.

"In order to carry the principles of inclusiveness and tolerance still further, we make no
religious requirement of anyone. All people having an alcoholic problem who wish to get
rid of it and so make a happy adjustment with the circumstances of their lives, become A.A.
members by simply associating with us. Nothing but sincerity is needed. But we do not
demand even this.

"In such an atmosphere the orthodox, the unorthodox, and the believer mix happily and
usefully together. An opportunity for spiritual growth is open to all."

Letter, 1940

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Walk in Dry Places

Deciding outcomes
Guidance
No matter how limited our opportunities may be, we always have choices and decisions to make. With any choice or decision, it’s only good sense to make the one that seems likely to have the best outcome.
If we’re following our program, however, we should not be dismayed when outcomes turn out to be unfavorable or take turns that disappoint us. We can see only dimly into the future, and we have no way of knowing what will eventually come about as a result of our choices.
We do know that the meeting of the first two AA members actually came about as a result of a business disappointment. We can always find other examples of disappointing outcomes that proved to be good breaks as time passed.
This is not an attempt to rationalize bad situations, if God is in charge of our lives, we need not fear what each outcome might be.
Though I will choose and decide as sensibly as possible, I'll not be excessively concerned about outcomes. My long-term good is assured as I follow God's plan in my life. "For those who love God, all things work together for good."

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Keep It Simple

Forgiveness is the way to true health and happiness.---Gerald Jampolsky
We can't afford to hold grudges. We have all felt hurt by others at times. But when we stay angry at another person, it hurts us. It keeps our wounds open. It takes our energy away from healing.
We can forgive now. We know that living our program of honesty and love make us safe. We don't have to be afraid. We don't have to be angry. We don't have to let old hurts stand in our way. We let them go. We empty the angers from the hearts to clear the way for love.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me forgive the people I'm still angry with. Help me see that each of those people taught me something about myself.
Action for the Day: Am I holding on to anger and resentment? If so, I'll make a list today, and I'll talk with my sponsor about ways to let go of them.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Without discipline, there's no life at all. --Katharine Hepburn
Procrastination is habitual. It's perhaps a habit we've struggled with over the years, and not one that can be willed away. It eats at us, no doubt. How many times have we gone to bed at night depressed, discouraged, angry with ourselves for not finishing a job we promised ourselves, or someone else, we'd do! Sometimes it feels hopeless. The tasks awaiting our attention pile up, seem impossible to complete. But there is hope. The program has offered us an easy solution.
We have only this day to concern ourselves with. We can break the spell of procrastination, lethargy, immobility, if we choose. We can pick a task that needs attention, any task, preferably a small one for today. Maybe it's writing a letter, or fixing a hem, or making an appointment to see a doctor. Deciding to do something, and then doing it, breaks through the barriers that have caged us. Immediately we will sense the surge of freedom. In this moment we can always act. And any act will free us.
When procrastination blocks us, our senses are dead to the friends close to us. It's as though we have stepped outside of the circle of life. The real gifts of sobriety are beyond our reach when we choose inaction.
I will get free. I will tackle a small task today. It will bless me in special ways.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS

If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that.

p. 95

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

The Missing Link

He looked at everything as the course of his unhappiness---except alcohol.

My last semester in high school marked my bottom. It was everyday drinking then. Since I had already been accepted at college, I consciously decided to make that last semester one big party. But it was no fun at all. I was miserable. I graduated narrowly and took a job at a local garage. It was difficult to manage my drinking and a job since they were both full time, but I concocted all kinds of lies to ensure that nothing would interfere with my drinking. After being repeatedly reprimanded at work for being late in the mornings, I made up a story to hide the fact that I was always hung over. I told my manager that I had cancer and needed to go to the doctor for treatment every morning. I would say whatever I needed to say to protect my drinking.

pp. 283-284

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Tradition Twelve - "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities."

Then came our first few excursions into major publicity, which were breathtaking. Cleveland's Plain Dealer articles about us ran that town's membership from a few into hundreds overnight. The news stories of Mr. Rockefeller's dinner for Alcoholics Anonymous helped double our total membership in a year's time. Jack Alexander's famous Saturday Evening Post piece made A.A. a national institution. Such tributes as these brought opportunities for still more recognition. Other newspapers and magazines wanted A.A. stories. Film companies wanted to photograph us. Radio, and finally television, besieged us with requests for appearances. What should we do?

pp. 186-187

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God's gracious gifts can be experienced by all who believe, and we can
fully enjoy its blessings without diminishing their enjoyment by others.
Knowing God and His limitless provisions, we are never deprived,
even though others are drawing on them, too. Joy, assurance, peace
and the awareness of God's presence are just a few of the many
benefits that are given without measure for everyone to enjoy. We
need only accept our gifts. Remember, the well of God's blessings will
never run dry.
--Our Daily Bread

We must be the change we wish to see in the world.
--Mahatma Gandhi

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
--Confucius (551 - 479 B.C.) Philosopher

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.
--Khalil Gibbon (1883 – 1931) Poet

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling but in rising every time
we fall.
--Oliver Goldsmith

"We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have
turns it into more."
--Codependent No More

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

GREED

"One of the weakness of our age is
our apparent inability to
distinguish our needs from our
greeds."
--Don Robinson

I was a greedy drunk. A greedy man. Spoiled, selfish and demanding. I
felt that the world owed me a living and if I did not get my way, I
sulked, cried or tried to hurt people. And this greedy attitude to life
only made me sad, dull and boring. Greed, in this sense, could not work
because what I was craving would never satisfy me.

Then I learned how to "let go". Instead of demanding, I learned how
to wait. Instead of consuming large amounts of alcohol, I practiced
abstinence. Instead of expecting life on my terms, I went with the
natural flow of life. I became happy, joyous and free. A miracle? Yes. I
accepted my "needs" and with the acceptance came the satisfaction.

Lord, only when I accept my hunger for You am I truly satisfied.

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Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become
blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a
crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in
the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day
of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.
Philippians 2:14-16

"From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after
another."
John 1:16

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Daily Inspiration

Your thoughts can be your worst enemy if you let them run away with you. Lord, free me to enjoy each moment of my day no matter what circumstances surround me.

Be honest with yourself in every situation. Lord, help me recognize that my needs, feelings and my being are important just as they are in all others.

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NA Just For Today

Someone Who Believes In Me

"Just for today I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery."
Basic Text, p. 96

Not all of us arrive in NA and automatically stay clean. But if we keep coming back, we find in Narcotics Anonymous the support we need for our recovery. Staying clean is easier when we have someone who believes in us even when we don't believe in ourselves.

Even the most frequent relapser in NA usually has one staunch supporter who is always there, no matter what. It is imperative that we find that one person or group of people who believes in us. When we ask them if we will ever get clean, they will always reply, "Yes, you can and you will. Just keep coming back!"

We all need someone who believes in us, especially when we can't believe in ourselves. When we relapse, we undermine our already shattered self-confidence, sometimes so badly that we begin to feel utterly hopeless. At such times, we need the support of our loyal NA friends. They tell us that this can be our last relapse. They know from experience that if we keep coming to meetings, we will eventually get clean and stay clean.

It's hard for many of us to believe in ourselves. But when someone loves us unconditionally, offering support no matter how many times we've relapsed, recovery in NA becomes a little more real for us.

Just for today: I will find someone who believes in me. I will believe in them.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The human brain forgets ninety percent of what goes on. --Jan Milner
There were two women who shared a house and raised their daughters, two toddlers, together. Then one of the women got transferred to another city and moved with her daughter.
Ten years later, they had a reunion. The mothers asked their kids what they remembered about living together. Did they remember all the books? No. Did they remember a mom in the kitchen every morning, fixing eggs and toast? No.
What they remembered was playing in the pink bathtub for hours, pulling the pink shower curtain shut for privacy. And the morning the mothers sneaked in, turned off the lights, threw plastic cups and spoons over the curtain and cried, "It's raining spoons!" They laughed and laughed.
We are lucky in this life--our minds think laughter is what's worth remembering.
What laughter from yesterday can I remember today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A shortcut is often the quickest way to some place you weren't going. --Classic Crossword Puzzles
We try shortcuts when we are in a hurry. The founders of this program tell us many people tried to find an easier, softer way because this one seemed too hard and too slow. Shortcuts to growth lead to dead ends and detours. Many men have experimented with shortcuts like "the geographical cure," "controlled use," "get rid of this partner and try someone else," "abstinence without the spiritual part of recovery," or "selecting some of the Steps and bypassing others."
The shortest road to one's own spirituality is the long road we see before us. We may wish for something more to our liking. But that is not an option for those of us who choose to grow toward full manhood. We deal with one day's - or one hour's - part of the road at a time. Maybe we see a job we have to do, a challenge to face, an unfinished talk with someone. Our task is to take this day and, in partnership with our Higher Power, see it in the light of our spiritual path.
I pray for faithfulness to this program. I will avoid shortcuts, allowing my spirituality to grow and deepen.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Without discipline, there's no life at all. --Katharine Hepburn
Procrastination is habitual. It's perhaps a habit we've struggled with over the years, and not one that can be willed away. It eats at us, no doubt. How many times have we gone to bed at night depressed, discouraged, angry with ourselves for not finishing a job we promised ourselves, or someone else, we'd do! Sometimes it feels hopeless. The tasks awaiting our attention pile up, seem impossible to complete. But there is hope. The program has offered us an easy solution.
We have only this day to concern ourselves with. We can break the spell of procrastination, lethargy, immobility, if we choose. We can pick a task that needs attention, any task, preferably a small one for today. Maybe it's writing a letter, or fixing a hem, or making an appointment to see a doctor. Deciding to do something, and then doing it, breaks through the barriers that have caged us. Immediately we will sense the surge of freedom. In this moment we can always act. And any act will free us.
When procrastination blocks us, our senses are dead to the friends close to us. It's as though we have stepped outside of the circle of life. The real gifts of sobriety are beyond our reach when we choose inaction.
I will get free. I will tackle a small task today. It will bless me in special ways.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Into Orbit
It doesn't matter if they're hurting themselves. It doesn't matter that we could help them if they'd only listen to, and cooperate with, us. IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER. --Codependent No More
I think I can change him. Nobody's ever really loved him and appreciated him before. I'll be the one to do that, and then he'll change. . . . She's never been with anybody trustworthy before. I'll prove how trustworthy I am, and then she'll be able to love. . . . Nobody's been able to get to her, to conquer her, before. I'll be the one to do that. . . . Nobody's ever really given him a chance. . . . Nobody's ever really believed in him before. . . .
These are warning signs. Red lights. Red flags. In fact, if we're thinking these thoughts, they need to be stop signs.
If we have gotten hooked into believing that somehow we will be the one who will make the difference in someone's life, if we are trying to prove how good we can be for someone, we may be in trouble.
This is a game. A deception. It won't work. It'll make us crazy. We can trust that. We're not seeing things clearly. Something's going on with us.
It will be self-defeating.
We may be "the one" all right - the one to wind up victimized.
The whole thought pattern reeks of codependency, of not being responsible for oneself, and of victimization. Each person needs to do his or her own work.
Nobody in the past has really understood him. . . . Nobody has seen what I see in her. . . . It's a set up. It sets us up to stop paying attention to ourselves while we focus too much on the other person. It takes us away from our path and often puts us in orbit.
Nobody has appreciated him enough. . . . Nobody has been good enough to her, or done for her what I can do. . . . It's a rescue. It's a game move, a game we don't have to play. We don't have to prove we're the one. If we're out to show people we're the best thing that ever happened to them, it may be time to see if they're the best thing that ever happened to us.
We have not been appointed as guardian angel, godmother, godfather, or "the one who will."
The help, support, and encouragement that truly benefits others and ourselves emerges naturally. Let it.
God, help me let go of my need to meet dysfunctional challenges in my relationships.


Today I am willing to experience all my feelings without hiding or running away. I am feeling alive in all moments and I am living this day to the fullest. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Never Say Never

On my trip, I stayed at several parks. The lodging was usually fine, but the ambiance and setting often weren’t what I wanted. I needed smaller, quieter places. At one point in my journey I said, Never again will I stay in a state park. Shortly after, I found myself nestled in a room at Olympic Park in Washington. It was one of the finest, quietest, most healing places I had ever encountered. I laughed at myself. By saying never, I had nearly cheated myself out of this experience.

Please don’t say never. It sets up resistance. Challenges life. Challenges fate. And closes doors.

Never is dogmatic and judgemental. Never means limited thinking. And never usually means probably.

When we say never it is sometimes because we have prejudged a thing without experiencing it. Other times, we say never because in the past a particular experience with a place or person was unpleasant. To say never means we’re expecting all similar experiences to be unpleasant. It doesn’t leave room for change or new and different experiences.

Learn from the past. Trust yourself. Trust your experiences, even the ones that haven’t worked for you. But please don’t say never. Stay open to all the universe holds.

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More Language Of Letting Go

You’ve got all the time you need

If we believe our relationships or jobs are finite situations, then it becomes easy to feel stressed if things don’t go the way we planned in the time frame that we expected. The promotion doesn’t come in time, and now our career plan is off track. And relationship problems become huge, dramatic monsters– a series of issues– that eat away every spare minute.

But if we believe that we are living in an infinite time frame, stress begins to dissipate. If I don’t get the promotion this week, maybe it will come next month and who knows, I may not even want it by then. Some of those big, monstrous relationship issues just sort themselves out if they’re not constantly held under a magnifying glass. And the moments spent with our loved ones become more enjoyable because we’re not continually working on the relationship.

When we behave on a finite scale, we can get so wrapped up in the details of a few moments that we cannot free ourselves to enjoy the next moment. When we start living on an infinite plane, it is easier to relax and let the universe carry us down the river, bringing us to all the lessons and joy that we need.

God, help me relax and know that if a situation doesn’t come to pass today, eventually it will work itself out. And I’ve got all the time I need.

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Putting Power in Perspective
Always Be for Something by Madisyn Taylor

There is more power in being FOR something rather than AGAINST something.

As human beings, we cannot help but be subject to our preferences. However, we do have control over the manner in which these manifest themselves in our lives. Every value we hold dear is an expression of either support or opposition, and it is our perspective that determines whether we are for something or against it. As an example of a situation we are all familiar with at this time: We can direct our energy and intentions into activities that promote peace rather than using our resources to speak out in opposition of war. On the surface, these appear to be two interchangeable methods of expressing one virtue, yet being for something is a vastly more potent means of inspiring change because it carries with it the power of constructive intent.

When you support a cause, whether your support is active or passive, you contribute to the optimism that fuels all affirmative change. Optimistic thoughts energize people, giving them hope and inspiring them to work diligently on behalf of what they believe in. Being for something creates a positive shift in the universe, which means that neither you nor those who share your vision will have any trouble believing that transformation on a grand scale is indeed possible. To be against something is typically easy, as you need only speak out in opposition to it. Standing up for something is often more challenging, because you may be introducing an idea to people that may scare them on a soul level.

Throughout your life, you have likely been told that the actions of one person will seldom have a measurable impact on the world. Yet your willingness to stand up for what you believe in instead of decrying what you oppose can turn the tides of fate. The thoughts you project when you choose to adopt a positive perspective will provide you with a means to actively promote your values and, eventually, foster lasting change. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Few of us are entirely free from a sense of guilt. We may feel guilty because of our words or actions, or for things left undone. We may even feel guilty because of irrational or false accusations by others. When I’m troubled by a gnawing feeling of guilt, obviously I can’t put into my day all I’m capable of. So I must rid myself of guilt — not by pushing it aside, or ignoring it, but by identifying it and correcting the cause. Have I finally begun to learn to “keep it simple…”?

Today I Pray

May I learn not to let myself be “guilted,” made to feel guilty when I don’t consider that I am. Since I doubtless have the dregs of guilt left over from my addictive behavior, I do not need the extra burden of unreasonable blame laid on me. I count on God to help me sort out and get rid of these twinges and pangs of guilt, which whether justified or not, need to be recognized and unloaded.

Today I Will Remember

The verdict of guilty is not for life.

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One More Day

To know how to grow old is the master-work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living.
– Henri Frederic Amiel

We often strive to imitate people we admire — special teachers, our parents, or friends. Many older people we choose to emulate have remained productive members of their communities and have found significant ways to help people. If we can be active, busy, and helpful we will not only enhance our lives, we become the role models for those younger than we are.

There are some people who seem to age so gracefully that they have the ability to make everyone around them feel special. We all appreciate friends like that, and we can become that way too.

I will live my life so well that I am a role model for young people.

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One Day At A Time

COMPASSION
“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving,
and tolerant of the weak and the strong.
Because sometime in your life you will have been all of these."
~ George Washington Carver

This Twelve Step program works wonders on many levels. But one of the most noticible changes I've seen in my life has been in the area of compassion.

Eating disorders can really mess a person up. All of us who have the disease of compulsive eating, in no matter what form, have been laughed at, discriminated against, or generally overlooked by those who don't suffer from our disease. So, one would think that compulsive eaters would be more loving and understanding to their fellows. For the most part this is true. But I have seen compulsive eaters be just as cruel as our more normal-weight counterparts.

If we can mistreat each other, how can we ever expect others to treat us differently? We need to remember where we were in our disease, for there are others in that same situation. We need to see ourselves in the newcomers to our program, because we run the risk of returning to where they are now. "There but for the grace of God go I" takes on a whole new meaning when we apply that phrase to our situation.

Sometimes we see varying degrees of success in this program of recovery. We must each work our program, and allow our fellows to work their program. It's not up to us to take someone else's inventory concerning the success or failure of their program. We need only to keep our own side of the street clean, and to show compassion to those of our fellows who are struggling. After all, compassion was what prompted the founding of our fellowship in the first place.

One day at a time...
I will consciously practice compassion toward those who still suffer, because I remember where I came from on this path, and realize I could return there.
~ JAR

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Next day found the prospect more receptive. He had been thinking it over. 'Maybe you're right,' he said. 'God ought to be able to do anything.' Then he added, 'He sure didn't do much for me when I was trying to fight this booze racket alone.'

On the third day the lawyer gave his life to the care and direction of his Creator, and said he was perfectly willing to do anything necessary. His wife came, scarcely daring to be hopeful, though she thought she saw something different about her husband already. He had begun to have a spiritual experience. - Pg. 158 - A Vision For You

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

The darker the shadow, the brighter the Light. As we stop using and leave the shadow of drug addiction, we slowly begin to see the new light of our life. Sometimes it is so bright, it hurts. We are not used to it.

God, as I understand You, as I clean up and the Light of recovery hurts, help me understand, adjust, and be grateful to leave the shadow.

Prayer and Miracles

Today, I will pray for a miracle in a situation that seems too much for me to handle or understand. There are times when I just don't have what it takes to work out a situation. I'm too loaded up with fears and anxieties. What could it hurt to pray for a little divine guidance or intervention? At the very least, it will help ease my burden; and at best, it will aid in a genuine shift in perception that might truly help my situation. When I feel stuck and as if I have explored every option and am still nowhere, I will pray for a miracle.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

We need special people in our lives so that we can travel the path of recovery. The special people are easy to find, they are right in front of you. They are called 'winners.'

I stick with the winners and win with the stickers.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

You're not responsible for your disease, but you are responsible for your recovery.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I am willing to experience all my feelings without hiding or running away. I am feeling alive in all moments and I am living this day to the fullest.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

People talk about an invisible line that you cross and become an alcoholic. Some of us were born on the other side of that line. - Danny T.
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