Starting Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: SC, USA
Posts: 43
Starting Again
Hello......again. I used to frequent this site in 2011. I hit bottom in June of that year and stayed sober just shy of 3 years. My uncle passed away in May of 2014 and I drank a beer in his honor with other family members. Huge mistake. That's when I gradually started back one tiny step at a time.
Fast forward to today. As it stands I've been trying to quit for the last year and a half. I've gone up to 6 weeks sober twice, but then I end up right back in the same hole.
My wife knows I enjoy a drink, but she has no clue as to how much I'm drinking now. I excel at work, stay busy with family and friends, active in church, exercise/yoga, but a closet alcoholic. Nobody knows. I'm tired of hiding empties, sneaking in/out of the liquor store, hiding beer in the coolers in the garage, making sure the neighbors don't see that black bag from the liquor store when I get home from work each day, you name it. Sick of it. Most of all, I'm tired of living a lie in front of the people I love.
Anyhow, I plan to become active here and seriously looking into AA. Looking forward to getting out of this prison. Today is Day 1.
Fast forward to today. As it stands I've been trying to quit for the last year and a half. I've gone up to 6 weeks sober twice, but then I end up right back in the same hole.
My wife knows I enjoy a drink, but she has no clue as to how much I'm drinking now. I excel at work, stay busy with family and friends, active in church, exercise/yoga, but a closet alcoholic. Nobody knows. I'm tired of hiding empties, sneaking in/out of the liquor store, hiding beer in the coolers in the garage, making sure the neighbors don't see that black bag from the liquor store when I get home from work each day, you name it. Sick of it. Most of all, I'm tired of living a lie in front of the people I love.
Anyhow, I plan to become active here and seriously looking into AA. Looking forward to getting out of this prison. Today is Day 1.
Make use of this site to keep you motivated to stay sober. 
I hope our support helps you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Good to have you with us, Oatmeal!
I really like the way you put it..."Looking forward to getting out of this prison." Isn't that just how it feels? Trapped in nightmarish cycle, & we don't even know why. It hasn't been fun or relaxing for many years - and never can be again. You will do it!
I really like the way you put it..."Looking forward to getting out of this prison." Isn't that just how it feels? Trapped in nightmarish cycle, & we don't even know why. It hasn't been fun or relaxing for many years - and never can be again. You will do it!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Welcome back!
Nobody needs to live a lie like that.
I did it for many years,graduated right up to vodka to hide it easier.
And more bang for the buck.
But, it was just killing us secretly.
So glad you're here.
Nobody needs to live a lie like that.
I did it for many years,graduated right up to vodka to hide it easier.
And more bang for the buck.
But, it was just killing us secretly.
So glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 296
Welcome back oatmeal. Living like that is exhausting. Just think, if you take all of that energy and effort and put it towards sobriety you will be successful. I remember moving out of a house, several years ago. I found a number of empty bottles and cans hidden all over. Thank goodness that never has to happen again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
Hey Oatmeal - good to see you!! I bet it already feels like a weight is lifted from your shoulders now that you've gotten honest with yourself. I know for me when I'm making good choices - life just FEELS so much BETTER!
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