Mango212

The cupboard seems bare. My soul does, too. Stripped down to nothing other than my faith of where God guides me.

Having a day of beautiful, raw, pure faith.

And soup.

Built with scant items that developed into abundance. In my life. In this pot. Songs playing loudly to keep me company. Each one a connection, a message. Tears release. Smiles are interspersed as kid shows up and adds his touches to the soup and the atmosphere of the kitchen.

Gluten-free cornbread fresh from the oven. Burnt edges. Crumbling. Soft and yummy. Dripping a melted honey-butter over it and eating it with a very grateful heart, I find my recovery from this family disease of alcoholism one nibbled bite at a time.

Biting off small pieces of life today. Little bits of throwing a toy for our pup. Asking her to accept extra quiet time in her den today. Little bits of making phone calls to allow more finances coming towards me. Little bits of self-care. A scrabble game played in little bits through the afternoon.

Alcoholism is back in full force in my husband's life.

We aren't there.

Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God.

Life is good. One moment at a time.

TropicalWinter

Take care, Mango. Thank you for the light you bring to this forum.

Mango212

Recognizing my heart has been broken again.

I like dancing with my husband. I like his smiles, good humor, kindness and doing every day kind of things together with him. Shopping for groceries. Spending time together as a family. Playing card games. I love the way he is gentle and caring with our youngest son, our puppy, our grown kids, our grandkids.

I'm thankful for having time like this again.

Now this man is gone. Lost again to alcoholism.

Reiki today. Healing my heart chakra. It's stronger now, more resilient and heals quicker. Heart-centered yoga. Deeply connecting to the earth and nature.

This day is full of great and wonderful things. I'm observing them with an open heart.

Kid has vocalized his pain easily. He's in a safe, nourishing environment. We both are. I'm thankful for this.

Mango212

Taking note of good things this evening:

I'm calm.

I'm letting emotions flow.

I'm balancing out quickly. Energetically, emotionally and psychologically.

I have everything I need for today.

My son and I are safe.

The sun will rise again tomorrow.

While I was meditating this afternoon, the events of yesterday came to me, step by step, breaking things down and working out the trauma of the day. It was a short period with a lot to deal with.

Mango212

While being calm and balanced at times, I also lost track of the days this week. I left on Monday. It's Thursday now. Still having many emotions flow through me. Enough going on through the day to keep me busy. Enough not going on to give me a void to simply sit with.

Mother Nature is sending lots of rain today. I'm letting her do most of the crying for me.

Mango212

I left with my son one week ago.

All is well.

We are safe.

These things are important.

Mango212

"Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness and everything to do with strength.

We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own."


This quote came to me through another SR thread. Thank you, God.

CarryOn

Prayers for you and your son; glad that you are safe.

Lostinthismess

Be proud of yourself for taking your son and leaving. Breathe momma, you got this. Sending you both lots of hugs.