Highercall

Another day suffering from a terrible hangover physical and mental pain. I don't seem able to get past 3 days no matter how strong my resolve. alcohol 🍺 seems to effect me a lot worse than other people. I want to stop completely but find this incredibly difficult. What's worse it's a work party tommorrow.

comtnman740

Nice job getting back! What have you learned from your relapse? What does your recovery plan look like? Meetings, sponsor, step work...

Chase01

Highercall, sorry for your suffering. In the later stages of my drinking career alcohol seemed to take a bigger toll on me. It didn't matter if I had 2 or 20,I would have a hangover. It was obviously much worse the more I drank, but it was there either way. To me, that was my body saying you have done some real damage and you better stop, now. Eventually I listened.

What are you doing to quit? Do you have a recovery plan? Have you tried reaching out to a doctor, therapist, friend, relative? How about AA?

Highercall

People keep on talking about recovery plans. I don't seem mentally able to make a plan. AA seems a difficult step. I am very isolated and every time I drink I act on impulse causing anxiety the next day. It would be helpful if one of you could outline a simple plan for me. Also advise about the party tommorrow please.

tomsteve

yet not so isolated to be thinking about attending the work party or getting to the store for more alcohol,right?

if you WANT to get sober youre going to have to be WILLING to go to any lengths, including saying no to the work party.

alcohol �� seems to effect me a lot worse than other people

nope, nothing unique about it. read around here and you can find people that are effected the same way- people that have gotten sober,too.

walking through the doors of my first AA meeting was the hardest thing i had ever done. took every bit of courage i could muster.
the doors got easier to open with every meeting i went to and with working the steps

Anna

Well, I would not go to the party tomorrow or to any other places where alcohol is present for awhile, until you feel stable.

As far as a recovery plan, try to come up with things that would work for you. I have some suggestions:

- start the day with a positive affirmation, something to think about through the day. Louise Hay offers many wonderful positive affirmations.

- I walk miles every day, something I began in the early evenings of my recovery because that time was so difficult for me. Walking has helped me mentally, physically and spiritually and I still do that.

- Read - I read something enjoyable every day and something inspirational.

- Plan your day or week menus and make sure you eat well.

- Check in at SR daily and read and post

- You might consider trying AA or SMART to give you face 2 face contact

And, add whatever will work for you.

Highercall

Thank you for your help. I really need act to stop this alcohol problem. I really don't want to continue living like this!

VigilanceNow

Hi higher, and good job for reaching out. I know exactly how you feel; in fact, I posted about day 3 being my breaking point too!!

AA does seem like a terrifying step, but believe me, if you just show up you will feel so surrounded by understanding and compassion. Every AA person knows what it’s like to show up for the first time.

A few simple steps (not necessarily in this order):

-get rid of all the alcohol you have in your house. If you live with other people, tell them about your problem and your goals (if they don’t already know) and ask that no alcohol be kept in the residence.
-if you are too afraid to go to an AA meeting alone, call an AA hotline and ask to meet with someone in your area for coffee. People are usually very open to helping newcomers ease into the group, or even just discuss your experience and offer some advice and understanding
- re: your work party tomorrow, I’m assuming your anxiety stems from there being alcohol there. Tell your co-workers that you have decided to stop drinking for a while. They don’t need to know more than that unless you choose to share. I did that myself to add accountability so that I would be faced with “...wait a second, I thought you said...” if I dared drink in front of them. It’s not a long-term solution but it might help you stay sober for the party as well as afterwards.

The biggest thing truly is getting a sober network and getting into the habit of reaching out. AA has limitless people who are more than happy to give back what they were given in their journey to sobriety. It seems scary, and you might feel like you’re bothering them, but rest assured you are not. The ONLY thing sometimes that keeps me from relapsing is calling someone and getting accountable.

No one can force you to stop. If you’re truly serious about this, get others involved. I isolated while drinking because I didn’t want anyone to know; it was seriously akin to a death wish for me. And think about it: could getting together and meeting some new people really be worse than what you’re feeling now? Than waking up after a blackout bender agonizing over what you may have done, and feeling crippling anxiety for days? I think not!!! Give it a try :-)

MantaLady

Sorry if this seems a little harsh but sometimes sugar coating things is not the right thing to do. It sounds like you want someone else to fix you and do all the hard work. You have to make your own plan, that is a fundamental part of engaging in the recovery process. No-one can do this for you, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. Until you are at this point and willing to put the hard yards in and make a plan, and follow it then you're just going to go back and forth doing the same thing.

If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got. Commit, use the great resources here to create a good plan, and follow it.

I hope you make the right decision and give yourself a chance at a better life. It's hard, but it does get better that I can promise xx

NerfThis

As tomsteve and Anna have said, if you WANT to remain sober, saying no to the party is the best advice. Also this is not the first time that someone has mentioned not being mentally able to make a plan for recovery, but are still able to purchase more alcohol and attend parties.

At this stage with no more than three days under your belt, you won't be able to attend social events without drinking. If you really want to stop, you need to avoid those activities for now. AA might seem like a difficult step, but it's one you'll need to take if you're struggling to beat the addiction on your own.

2muchpain

I agree with others when they say don't go to the party. Find an excuse not to attend. As far as a plan is concerned, everybody is different. What works for one person would not for anybody else. But everybody seems to agree that staying busy is very important, especially in the early stages of recovery. For me, I plan my day out. Sitting around bored is not good for me. I make a plan and stick with it. No excuses. Finding as many distractions as possible helps a lot. I make a to do list. Gets me out of my apartment and keeps me busy. If your not ready for AA meetings, there are meetings on you-tube. Ted talks is another source that might give you some insight into stuff. Pick up a Big Book and read it when your home. Lot of wisdom in that book, even for people not interested in AA. Stay close to SR. So many things you can do. Just gotta be willing to do them. Change is really hard. REALLY HARD. Make a plan and stick with it, no excuses. Like the saying goes, "just do it". Good luck. John

DontRemember

I absolutley would NOT attend that party! I,personally, 'isolated' myself for several months to focus on my sobriety. Lost a longterm girlfriend and some business,but..I'll find new/better women and make more money sober.

ScottFromWI

Any recovery plan is going to be difficult, no getting around that unfortunately.

A simple plan: Decide that you will not drink today, no matter what. Drinking is choice - you have to make the decision to buy it, go get it, open it, pour it down your throat and then swallow it. Get rid of any alcohol you have and don't buy anymore. Spend time here learning about how other people have gone about it.

The party tomorrow is a simple one too - just don't go. People miss parties all the time for all sorts of reasons.

Highercall

Thanks for all your messages. I will take your advise and not go to the party as I know damm well it would end badly if I drank and if I did not drink the stress may cause a panic attack!

Chase01

Great advice here. It was tough going to that first AA meeting. When I finally went, I had never felt more welcome or like I fit in more. Those are people who have been exactly were you are.

Dee74

Good to see you back HigherCall.

Sometimes a plan need not be any more than

If I feel like drinking I will __________

get as many things as you can in that blank spot.

D