Need advice.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1
Need advice.
Okay, so I am a recovering opioid addict I haven’t used in 10 months now. I guess that’s probably just information on me that don’t matter to much right now.
The thing is I have this friend I met at a NA meeting. We never really talked much a few months ago we started talking on Facebook. We started hanging out and got really close. She struggles with meth. I feel we have started to fall for each other. She has talked to me about wanting to be a sober and I can tell she really wants it. I have encouraged her to get clean and now she has made the decision that she wants to go into rehab. I’m so proud and support her 100 percent.
When I stopped using I didn’t go to rehab or anything I just went to NA and really depended on my family at the time for support so I don’t know much about rehab. Can someone explain the process to me?
I’m really going to miss her. I’m scared she will forget about me once she is sober.. maybe I’m thibking to deep.
What can I do to help her? Any advice is appreciated.
The thing is I have this friend I met at a NA meeting. We never really talked much a few months ago we started talking on Facebook. We started hanging out and got really close. She struggles with meth. I feel we have started to fall for each other. She has talked to me about wanting to be a sober and I can tell she really wants it. I have encouraged her to get clean and now she has made the decision that she wants to go into rehab. I’m so proud and support her 100 percent.
When I stopped using I didn’t go to rehab or anything I just went to NA and really depended on my family at the time for support so I don’t know much about rehab. Can someone explain the process to me?
I’m really going to miss her. I’m scared she will forget about me once she is sober.. maybe I’m thibking to deep.
What can I do to help her? Any advice is appreciated.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Hi Bam - I don't know anything about rehab, or having loved ones in rehab, but I wanted to welcome you 
I know it must be hard to be separated and thinking all kinds of things for the future but sounds to me like your friend is doing a great thing for herself.
I really hope it works out for the two of you
D
I know it must be hard to be separated and thinking all kinds of things for the future but sounds to me like your friend is doing a great thing for herself.
I really hope it works out for the two of you
D
Last edited by Dee74; 05-22-2018 at 02:11 AM.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
Hi Bam. Glad to hear you are supporting your friend! It is very difficult to be in a relationship while struggling to kick an addiction. Many times one person’s relapse leads to the other partner’s, so just be cautious of that.
Rehabs are typically 2 weeks to 36 days, and contact with the outside is very limited. Most rehabs do not allow calls or visits in the first week at least. This is so they can focus completely on recovery and put outside obligations on hold.
You should also be aware that you may be meeting a different person once she gets totally sober and clean. This should not scare you or make you think she will forget about you; if it really does, honestly I’d say pursuing a relationship with her isn’t a good idea. Addicts both in and out of recovery tend to struggle with codependency. There is a lot of literature on this subject if you do a google search. Even coming out of rehab, she will be facing a struggle to maintain sobriety, and she should be relying on a plutonic sober support system for help with that. You can be there for her, but I’m sure you know that addiction specialists usually suggest ~a year sober before entering a serious romantic relationship.
It is also often a difficult adjustment for people right out of rehab, where everything is taken care of for you. It’s kind of like being a kid in school again; everything is scheduled for you and provided to you. Coming out of rehab you are hit with all the realities of the real world again, both good and bad. Some people immediately fall into old habits to cope with the stress. Hopefully she won’t!!
Hope that helps a bit :-)
Rehabs are typically 2 weeks to 36 days, and contact with the outside is very limited. Most rehabs do not allow calls or visits in the first week at least. This is so they can focus completely on recovery and put outside obligations on hold.
You should also be aware that you may be meeting a different person once she gets totally sober and clean. This should not scare you or make you think she will forget about you; if it really does, honestly I’d say pursuing a relationship with her isn’t a good idea. Addicts both in and out of recovery tend to struggle with codependency. There is a lot of literature on this subject if you do a google search. Even coming out of rehab, she will be facing a struggle to maintain sobriety, and she should be relying on a plutonic sober support system for help with that. You can be there for her, but I’m sure you know that addiction specialists usually suggest ~a year sober before entering a serious romantic relationship.
It is also often a difficult adjustment for people right out of rehab, where everything is taken care of for you. It’s kind of like being a kid in school again; everything is scheduled for you and provided to you. Coming out of rehab you are hit with all the realities of the real world again, both good and bad. Some people immediately fall into old habits to cope with the stress. Hopefully she won’t!!
Hope that helps a bit :-)
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