Biglee55

Hi, can anyone relate to my symptoms, for the last two years I have been drunk 4-5 times a week it’s the only time I feel normal.

I started drinking at the age of 13 I am 41 now, about two years ago I woke up shaking one day and since then I’ve not felt well. Google doesn’t help I’ve convinced myself for the last two years that I’m Going to die.
It’s all I can think of every moment of the day and night. I keep getting a strange sensation come over me when not drinking that scares me.

When I do drink I drink to get drunk and I have never had respect for alcohol, I hold down a good job but I can work from home so it’s easy to rearrange things so I can get drunk.

I have tried in the past to quit but I’ve never gone more than a few days, I’m seven days in now and feel like I have been hit by a truck. I feel like the worlds not real I’m really scared to be honest.

I have known for years I have a problem, even though I don’t drink through out the day as soon as 6 o’clock comes I get drunk most of the week. I just hope the world not seeming real and the worrying about dieing for the last two years is from the alcohol. Thanks for any help I could do with a friend.

gymratgirl

First, welcome to SR. I can completely relate. I have major health anxiety and every little pain I feel I attribute to the fact I have done some major damage. Have you gone to a doctor? Maybe getting some routine tests done will put your mind at ease, or at the very least, convince you to stop the madness and quit drinking. I work from home too, so it is way to easy to drink. I have had to eliminate all booze from the house so I am not tempted around 4 or 5 pm. I also try to keep busy at that time so I cannot drink. You are probably feeling the effects of the withdrawls - again something a doctor can help you with and prescribe something to calm you down. Lots of great info on this site.

biminiblue

Yeah, it's really tough coming off long-term steady drinking. No two ways about it.

I definitely was dissociative in early sobriety. Everything was just off.

It gets better. Not in a week, not even in a month - but it does get better with continuous sober days.

That anxiety feeling is the nervous system. Alcohol is a sedative and when it's withdrawn the nervous system is ramped up for a while.

Biglee55

Thanks for the replies, I’ve not been to the doctors I wanted to prove to myself I could go 30 days on my own . I know I’m only 7 days in but it’s a start.

biminiblue

Seven days is HUGE for a daily drinker.

Every day will get a tiny bit better. Not as quickly as you would like, maybe - but it will get better.