Self-Hate
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
Self-Hate
Ive been sober for a long time now.
But I cant seem to shake off my self-hate.
Its not constant, but every time I do something wrong
I really think and talk myself down.
But even objectively, I’m not good at anything.
I have this urge to excel at something. Some hard-skill.
It feels like I lack all the skills that having a family requires: management, punctuality, responsibility, fixing and building stuff etc. I suck at all these things.
Since high school I did not do anything on my own.
I latch onto people that bring me further.
Dont know How to deal with feeling.
Its hard to accept myself as a human being this way.
Just want to isolate myself, when I feel this way, playing games and working out.
But I cant seem to shake off my self-hate.
Its not constant, but every time I do something wrong
I really think and talk myself down.
But even objectively, I’m not good at anything.
I have this urge to excel at something. Some hard-skill.
It feels like I lack all the skills that having a family requires: management, punctuality, responsibility, fixing and building stuff etc. I suck at all these things.
Since high school I did not do anything on my own.
I latch onto people that bring me further.
Dont know How to deal with feeling.
Its hard to accept myself as a human being this way.
Just want to isolate myself, when I feel this way, playing games and working out.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hey CC,
Sorry to hear that the pain and self-loathing are still there for you. Mine actually got worse gradually, until I finally felt desperate enough to follow Dee's advice and actually commit to a plan of recovery. This for me meant getting a sponsor and working the 12-step program in AA, but others have found different things for their recovery plan. The important thing, it would seem from experience shared on here, is taking action and being the instrument of change. I don't know what you've already got in place recovery wise, but it sounds like you could do with adding to your recovery plan.
This thread is a good one....
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-plans-1.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
If you haven't read the Digital Dharma PAWs article, I'd recommend that as well... https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
There are some great suggestions for action to take on both of these.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Sorry to hear that the pain and self-loathing are still there for you. Mine actually got worse gradually, until I finally felt desperate enough to follow Dee's advice and actually commit to a plan of recovery. This for me meant getting a sponsor and working the 12-step program in AA, but others have found different things for their recovery plan. The important thing, it would seem from experience shared on here, is taking action and being the instrument of change. I don't know what you've already got in place recovery wise, but it sounds like you could do with adding to your recovery plan.
This thread is a good one....
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-plans-1.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
If you haven't read the Digital Dharma PAWs article, I'd recommend that as well... https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
There are some great suggestions for action to take on both of these.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
I recommend a practice of self-inquiry that teaches gentle appreciation of yourself and the basic goodness of the world.
I got a lot out of Shambhala, the Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa.
His principles are that we are all basically and unconditionally good. By accepting this, we can begin to turn ourselves out to the world. We can thus break out of our cocoons, with increased awareness and gentle curiosity. We can trust ourselves and trust the world, and move forward with fearlessness.
This is the sacred path of the gentle warrior. Through this path, your self-hate will diminish, you will appreciate the skills that you have (of which I'm sure there are many), and you will eventually offer them up to the world with ease and joy.
I got a lot out of Shambhala, the Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa.
His principles are that we are all basically and unconditionally good. By accepting this, we can begin to turn ourselves out to the world. We can thus break out of our cocoons, with increased awareness and gentle curiosity. We can trust ourselves and trust the world, and move forward with fearlessness.
This is the sacred path of the gentle warrior. Through this path, your self-hate will diminish, you will appreciate the skills that you have (of which I'm sure there are many), and you will eventually offer them up to the world with ease and joy.
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