Husband in rehab
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 81
Husband in rehab
I took my husband to rehab yesterday. I knew it would be hard for him but I really wasn’t expecting how hard it would be for me. Leaving him there, driving home, noticing his stuff wasn’t all over house... then letting it really hit that I have to do everything for a month with the kids. My son was throwing a tantrum as toddlers do and I just cried. Then his first night at rehab was bad - he had oral surgery and they weren’t giving him anything for the pain. I called this morning like Shirley MacLaine in terms of endearment.
I feel like I’m being punished for his disease.
What am I doing for myself? Getting sitters so I can still have a social life. My friends have been very supportive.
No questions here I’m just venting.
I feel like I’m being punished for his disease.
What am I doing for myself? Getting sitters so I can still have a social life. My friends have been very supportive.
No questions here I’m just venting.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Good place to come vent. 
My husband's first rehab touched off a ton of emotions in me. I had no idea when driving him to rehab what I'd be dealing with while he was gone.
I hadn't started going to many Alanon meetings at that time. I didn't have a support network yet.
The more things change, the more they change. At first that was scary. Now it's completely comforting!!
Hang in there! You're doing great!
My husband's first rehab touched off a ton of emotions in me. I had no idea when driving him to rehab what I'd be dealing with while he was gone.
I hadn't started going to many Alanon meetings at that time. I didn't have a support network yet.
The more things change, the more they change. At first that was scary. Now it's completely comforting!!
Hang in there! You're doing great!
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 497
My AH didn't go to rehab unfortunately, but he did drive away with a a uhaul to a new city and a new job after I told him I wasn't prepared to move at that time. I had similar feelings. PIt was hard as hell, but after awhile I just did what I had to do. Me and the kids were "alone" for 9 months. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself. I don't know what kind of routine you have now, but had I had to do it again I would have had more structure in the home - sticking to certain times for bath, bed, etc. that will give you time to decompress too
Hang in there.
Hang in there.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 219
Was in a similar spot when my RAW went into detox and rehab. Fortunately there were people to help me with the kids and let me work on myself a bit during those periods of solitude.
One thing I did was clean and organize the house... garage... car... etc... She had been using n the house and I had to ensure I had a safe environment for the children. Went thru everything... threw out tons of clutter and things that were no longer needed. It was liberating and cleansing.
Take this time to work on yourself... on your children... without all the drama that an addict can generate.
One thing I did was clean and organize the house... garage... car... etc... She had been using n the house and I had to ensure I had a safe environment for the children. Went thru everything... threw out tons of clutter and things that were no longer needed. It was liberating and cleansing.
Take this time to work on yourself... on your children... without all the drama that an addict can generate.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
it's tough, marble.....it signifies a change in the dynamic. at least for now. yes you will be a single parent for the next bit of time, but you will also have time TO YOURSELF, sans the drinker. you won't have to filter everything thru him.....how is going to be, where is he going to be, is he drinking, is he lying. your house will be your domain.....you get to call the shots.....what's for dinner, when is dinner, what to watch, what to talk about, how to feel, when to go to bed, when to get up. everything you choose to do requires exactly ONE vote.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Does the rehab have a family week or family days with classes and workshops?
The first rehab my husband went to had a full week one that I attended. Mostly with time for myself, with some joint sessions. It was a great experience in connecting with other people who were going through many of the same things. One of our counselors has a spectacular recovery story. Never would have guessed it if I'd have met him in a different setting.
The second rehab my husband went to had a three-day intensive family workshop. We had more family with us at that one, which was a really good thing for all of us.
Both were a part of a large learning curve in each of our recovery journeys. I'm very appreciative of all of I've learned.
The first rehab my husband went to had a full week one that I attended. Mostly with time for myself, with some joint sessions. It was a great experience in connecting with other people who were going through many of the same things. One of our counselors has a spectacular recovery story. Never would have guessed it if I'd have met him in a different setting.
The second rehab my husband went to had a three-day intensive family workshop. We had more family with us at that one, which was a really good thing for all of us.
Both were a part of a large learning curve in each of our recovery journeys. I'm very appreciative of all of I've learned.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by Spence7471 
Was in a similar spot when my RAW went into detox and rehab. Fortunately there were people to help me with the kids and let me work on myself a bit during those periods of solitude.
One thing I did was clean and organize the house... garage... car... etc... She had been using n the house and I had to ensure I had a safe environment for the children. Went thru everything... threw out tons of clutter and things that were no longer needed. It was liberating and cleansing.
Take this time to work on yourself... on your children... without all the drama that an addict can generate.
One thing I did was clean and organize the house... garage... car... etc... She had been using n the house and I had to ensure I had a safe environment for the children. Went thru everything... threw out tons of clutter and things that were no longer needed. It was liberating and cleansing.
Take this time to work on yourself... on your children... without all the drama that an addict can generate.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
it's tough, marble.....it signifies a change in the dynamic. at least for now. yes you will be a single parent for the next bit of time, but you will also have time TO YOURSELF, sans the drinker. you won't have to filter everything thru him.....how is going to be, where is he going to be, is he drinking, is he lying. your house will be your domain.....you get to call the shots.....what's for dinner, when is dinner, what to watch, what to talk about, how to feel, when to go to bed, when to get up. everything you choose to do requires exactly ONE vote.
There have been things I’ve wanted to do to the house and he wasn’t a fan so I’m hiring all the people to do all the things - carpet cleaning (he wanted to do it himself), exterminator (didn’t see a point)...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by Mango212
Does the rehab have a family week or family days with classes and workshops?
The first rehab my husband went to had a full week one that I attended. Mostly with time for myself, with some joint sessions. It was a great experience in connecting with other people who were going through many of the same things. One of our counselors has a spectacular recovery story. Never would have guessed it if I'd have met him in a different setting.
The second rehab my husband went to had a three-day intensive family workshop. We had more family with us at that one, which was a really good thing for all of us.
Both were a part of a large learning curve in each of our recovery journeys. I'm very appreciative of all of I've learned.
The first rehab my husband went to had a full week one that I attended. Mostly with time for myself, with some joint sessions. It was a great experience in connecting with other people who were going through many of the same things. One of our counselors has a spectacular recovery story. Never would have guessed it if I'd have met him in a different setting.
The second rehab my husband went to had a three-day intensive family workshop. We had more family with us at that one, which was a really good thing for all of us.
Both were a part of a large learning curve in each of our recovery journeys. I'm very appreciative of all of I've learned.
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