Gilmer

As I mentioned last week, many of us have made serious mistakes in our alcoholic past. Some have destroyed relationships and thrown away careers. Almost all of us have done things we deeply regret, and there is a tendency to beat ourselves up for throwing away our lives.

On the one hand, it is important never to forget the damage we have inflicted through our addiction. In the words of Winston Churchill, “Those who fail to learn from history are condemned to repeat it.” We need to remember where we’ve come from so that we will never go back.

But on the other hand, it’s important not to turn a healthy, objective assessment of our mistakes into self-flagellation.

Obsessive self-recrimination cannot bring lost opportunities back, nor can it make any real amends. It can only do more damage.

Damaging ourselves does count as very real damage, and there is no place for it in a healthy life.

Nothing justifies doing anybody, even ourselves, any more damage.

Now that you’re sober, start fresh. Build toward the positive and forge a better future.

Treat yourself right!

Snufkin

Very inspiring post, thanks Gilmer.

Hello Weekenders!

Gilmer

Hi, Snuf!

Good to see you!

MantaLady

Morning weekenders! Loving the intro Gilmer, always good to reaffirm a positive message when I pop into the thread

Gilmer

Hi, MantaLady!

Dee74

Thanks Gilmer.
Yep balance - always balance

MidnightBlue

Thank you for the intro, Gilmer!

I am absolutely in for the no self-beating weekend!

Snufking - Are you still reclaiming your shotgun? (Wink-Wink).

STDragon

Thanks Gilmer! great OP.

Treat yourself right! I truly belive that you must look after yourself first. Only then will you have the energy for the other things in life. I sometimes find this a struggle, am I being selfish? how do I strike the right balance? Occasionally I've got that "look" when I head off for me time and I'll feel a pang of guilt. But I am a heck of alot more engaged with my family and contribute more that I had ever done prior so I think I'm doing OK.

STDragon

Something else I've been wanting to mention here. I not a great sports fan and I don't spend alot of time watching the hockey games. As you probably know, Mrs. Dragon is the hockey nut in our household. But I have been enjoying the playoffs. What I've noticed in myself is I'm able to follow the game fairly easily. When I was drinking, I'd never see the offsides, icing, goals, penalties and such. I'd react with the crowd instead of to the game. But now, it's seems I'm really sharp! I'm able to call out mistakes and penalties as they happen. My wife thanked me the other night for taking interest in her passion. But the truth is I can follow the puck and so enjoy the game. Yay to being present with no brain (or less) brain fog.

soberclover

Hello Soberenders - seeing and checking in on this thread just never gets old for me Being sober is always awesome !

saoutchik

Good afternoon and thank you for another great OP Gilmer. As a sober person I can look back on the mistakes I have made in my life, which are mostly lost relationships caused by my drinking, with embarrassment and annoyance. When I was drinking this would turn to maudlin self pity and "why bother" nihilism to which my response would be to drink more. Not so much a viscious circle, more of an orbit of stupidity.

biminiblue

Orbit of stupidity. Good one.

Shotgun?


I just sat down with coffee after dealing with my very sick end-of-life cat. I'm so glad I am sober and 100% present for this hospice care situation. I would definitely be crying in my beer. Or rum. Or, you get the picture. I mean, I'm sad, and I have shed tears in the past two weeks and there will be more - but I know I won't sink into a pit of self-pity and guilt for a month afterwards. So many negative emotions just don't become a cycle in sobriety.

Emotions are appropriate now, and they have their place. And it's not about me.

Onward.

gettingsmarter

I'm on.

MidnightBlue

Our weekender gentlemen are throwing gems of wording today.

Dragon - "I'd react with the crowd instead of to the game". Just brilliant!

Sao - "Orbit of stupidity". I am going to steal it and pretend I am that smart))

Gilmer

Bump

trachemys

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I'm contemplating second breakfast. The egg and cheese on toast I had earlier may be repeated. Or not.

biminiblue

Someone call Venus and tell her there's a new thread...

MidnightBlue

Well, not exactly Venus, but almost)

MantaLady

There is nothing I can say to help here, I lost my lady cat nancy 2 years ago to diabetes at 15 years old. She was my world and I still well up when I mention her name. Keep strong and sending you love and hugs from across the pond xx

MidnightBlue

I am contemplating second dinner - more fruit and nuts.

I am literally going nuts and bananas today.