Dreamygal

Good afternoon all,

I am one week sober after trying for years to do it by myself.

I have been lucky and got myself a sponsor last Sunday, but I am her first sponsee and she has not started the steps with me and no checking on me.

I was at a great meeting today and was talking to another lady and she offered to be my second sponsor, she gave me my first step! I am very excited, but how do I tell my first sponsor, I need to let her go?

She is a lovely lady and I don't want to hurt her feelings.

I have a lot going on, so I will post for more advise later today!

Thank you!

djlook

Hello, Dreamy Gal.

Congratulations on the humility it takes to surrender and say you can't do this thing alone. I tried that too and, of course, it didn't work.

This is my experience. I don't give advice. Sponsorship literally saved my life. I didn't have a clue how to have a relationship with another person.

When I picked up a chip for a desire to stop drinking, it was suggested to me that I get a sponsor. I picked a lady, just like you, and I was her first sponsee. She was not capable of taking me through the steps because she hadn't worked them herself. The short time I did meet with her she didn't give me any first step directions either. I was a people pleaser and didn't want to hurt her feelings. She became a friend, but she couldn't help me. She died drunk.

Then I asked a lady who had eight years sober to be my sponsor. I knew she had worked the steps because I could hear Big Book Sobriety when she shared at meetings. I've heard, and it has turned out to be true, that when we do what's right for us it's always what's right for the other person. She just might be relieved. If you are a praying person, ask God to give you the right words and the answer will come. Again, congratulations, and I wish you to be happy, joyous, and free in your journey. It's a beautiful life.

Anna

Hi, I'm not an AA person, but I think you could just be honest and that you thought that you and the sponsor were not a great fit.

Dreamygal

Thank you both for the amazing advice, I think I will take her for coffee and just be truthful, which in sobriety can be hard!

I need somebody who is strong because at this time, I'm not!

Thank you again.