Highercall

Why because my 30 year old work mate committed suicide yesterday! Sometimes only a drink 🥃 will do

lessgravity

One of the worst excuses I've heard in a while. Hope you pour the rest out in his memory.

Life is fleeting. Tomorrow is not promised.

Zanna

How about putting the drink down and doing something constructive for his loved ones, like organising a fundraiser? I'm sorry for your loss, but this really isn't all about you x

FreeOwl

This seems like a pretty lousy way to honor a friend

Delilah1

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, I'm also sorry you have chosen to drink. I hope to see you back for Day One tomorrow.

Highercall

How todare you if sober people like you I'm glad I'm drunk

tomsteve

Hc, lessgravity said as compassionately as possible the truth.
a very tragic event, but drinking is NOT the only thing that will do.

heres a bit of my experience with suicide in recovery- a great friend and thinking about it now is creating some grieving, which is possible to do sober.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...bit-angry.html (sad news that has me a wee bit angry)

i hope ya pour it all out and start again in the morning.

Dee74

I'm sorry about your workmate.
My inner addict loved 'valid' reasons to drink.

Now I look at it another way - a man died and all my addiction can do is use that tragedy to get its fix.

Noones saying you can't or shouldn't grieve or be sad - but drinking is not grieving it's numbing, and pushing that grief to one side....when you sober up and the grief comes back, you need more drink....bad cycle.

Honour your friend. Stay sober.

D

columbus

My fiance died last year.

What a great excuse to drink!

NOT.

Healthyandsober

Hi HC,

I am very sorry for your loss. Sucide sucks. I also understand why you drank although I know you know its a bad idea.

One of the main reasons I drank in my life has been the inability to handle things specially grief and when things go wrong. Sadly thats life sometimes.

Try to put the drink down and when you do please try to conceive some sort of a plan to stop drinking and learn some coping mechanisms to deal with your emotions.

I am on the same boat and trying to do the same. All the best to you and please come back everyones replies here just have been an attempt to help you because we have been there where you are coping with life tragedies with unhealthy and self destructive mechanism.

all the best i hope to hear how things are tomorrow.

Opivotal

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend, Highercall.

I promise you, drinking will not ease your pain.

Get some rest and start again.

Hevyn

Highercall, I'm sorry you lost your work mate. It's a terrible thing to try and deal with. I always thought drinking helped calm me down & made it easier to cope with tragedy. I finally realized it prevented me from dealing with pain in a healthy way. All it does is give us a bit of temporary relief, but when we sober up we still have to deal with our emotions. I hope you'll soon regain your sobriety & continue to heal. I'm glad you posted.

wynwrights

I’m really sorry about your workmate. I have had direct experience of suicide (immediate family) and it’s an appalling event. What I can say hand on heart though is this: drink never made anything better, grief and shock included. I really hope to see you back here for another try at recovery soon. Sending you strength.

Primativo

Drinking won't help at all. You will feel even worse than you did before you started drinking when you sober.

But not only well you still be upset from the death of your colleague, you will be depressed and anxious from the hangover of your drinking.

You are just using it as an excuse to drink. You must find other ways to deal with your emotions. Stop drinking and good luck!

DontRemember

Excuse to drink and if you want to drink go ahead.. I did CPR on a dead body of a loved one a few months ago and didn't drink. Time to OWN your actions with drinking. Don't 'blame' life/death on your drinkin. Just the the same as drinking 'at' either does nothing .

Caralara144

It seems as if our addiction just lies in wait for something bad to happen ..
As it does ...
To give us that excuse to let it back in again
I know it's hard but try and keep strong at this point ...
Big hugs 💛

Nonsensical

I also thought this when I preferred avoiding the truth.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

Hope1989

WOW!!!

I've seen here a lot of people judging in this post. If the guy is ******* drinking and posting here, obviously is not because he is about having a raging party.

Get over yourselves. You're also addicts, what makes you have the moral high ground to start judging? You all think you're better?. Absolute shame on you.

To the OP, I'm sorry for your loss. Try to put the drink down and tomorrow will be a new day, so you can start your recovery.

Hope it works!

Dean1978

No morale high ground, just speaking the truth. As alcoholics we will use any reason to justify drinking. People are just passing on their experience, sometimes truth and reality is not something some like to hear, thats understandable.

Gottalife

Good point. It is easy to stay sober when everything is going well. But what about when the bad thing happens. How will we react? Those that have not found a new solution will turn to the old one. It’s only natural.

In my case, I put the work in to find the new solution. When tragedy struck, I reacted sanely and normally. The nearest thing I have to losing a workmate, who was also a very good friend, was when and employee died after a long illness. During his illness I arranged for him to come into work as he wished, even put a couch up stairs so he could rest when needed. He didn’t want to be thrown on the scrap heap. I helped him out financially and helped his family, he left behind a wife and four children, in the time after his death. And I grieved his loss.

I still miss him. It never occurred to me to drink, and that is because today I live in a new solution. Alcohol is not a part of that. It is not will Power or strength of character on my part. Since I worked the 12 steps of AA and found the Power to handle life as a result. I just naturally behave in a different way to how I used to.

Life is going to hand us some world class excuses to drink. Whether we take them up or not will depend on what we have done to treat our alcoholism.