Debralou

My AS came home about six years ago. He was going to pain management. After 3 years his ins ran out and he self medicated with meth. I was so ignorant that he had to tell me. He took my whole life over. First I couldn't talk i my own home because we were being spied on. Then the bugs moved in. I was so depressed i spent two years in my room. It took me a long time reading SR and educating myself but I finally asked him to leave I wanted my life back. He wouldn't go I had to have him evicted. It took 2 months. He lived with other addicts then in his car. He came home to pick up some of his things and told me his sad story of how he was living. I didn't give him the reaction he wanted and he left in huff. About 30 min later he texted me asking me to help him find a rehab. He had no ins so we were limited. We started calling that night and a week later he wad acceptd to ARC at the Salvation Army. It's been 5 weeks and I haven't heard a word from him i pray that he is going through the program and getting the help he needs but I thought he would call at some point after 30 days

Ann

I hope he is safe too, Debralou, the Salvation Army programs are very good.

I am the mom of an adult son addict and I know your pain. You are a lot smarter than I was, it took me years to finally let go of trying to save my son from himself.

I am glad you are here, you are not alone and I will keep your son in my prayers.

Debralou

Thank you for your prayers. I have read many of your posts and they have helped me try to sift through this madness that my life had become. My son is now 42 and the oldest of 4 sons and the only addict. I have prayed for your missing son and you. There was times when I wondered if I was being punished or tested. I love my boys so much.

Ann

Thank you for the kind words, and especially for your prayers, I believe God hears every word.

It took me years to let go...no wait, it took me a short time to let go but I kept grabbing back! I didn't know what to do with the fear and the emptiness when I let go, hanging on is what I knew how to do, however dysfunctional that sounds.

It was when I turned humbly to my faith, when I finally gave up and gave the care of my son to God, that I felt able to proceed with my own healing and getting on with my life. I begin each day with a prayer and turn my son's care over to God and then live my day in faith that He will do for my son, what I cannot.

I live well today. I get out in nature almost every day, it's where I find my peace, and I find joy in whatever the day brings.

The transition wasn't so hard once I really truly let go and let God. It just took me about 100 practice runs to get it right.

You'll be okay, no matter how your son does. Focusing on your recovery rather than his addiction/rehab is a good start and a healthier way to live.

I really really hope this all turns out well for both you and your son.

Hugs from my heart to yours.