Day 12 and the safety bubble has burst...
Ocean Lover!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Day 12 and the safety bubble has burst...
Day 12 and I had created a safe little bubble around me to get here. I needed to do this to give myself a break and really concentrate on getting free of alcohol with no distractions. I have kept away from stressful situations and focussed on the basics, looking after myself properly, good nutrition, sorting out my home which had become a mess and exercising. I am very lucky also that I work for myself so made a choice to have an extended period of time off too.
Last night the bubble burst and I am so chuffed that I dealt with it without turning to the vino. Usually I would have gotten in the car, gone and got some wine or on the flip side I would have already been drunk when it happened and the situation would have escalated and become out of control.
I can’t deny the situation that arose had some roots in the bad choices I’ve previously made when drinking so I have to take some accountability here. I made friends with a group of guys that live across my back street, they are all heavy drinkers and drink every night of the week and drink a lot! I used to drink with them, they made me feel like I really wasn’t an alcoholic and was just a social drinker as I would have a few days a week not drinking but they didn’t. I used them I guess. They liked me as I was a seemingly strong and upfront woman and always stood up for myself. However, as time went on they started to fall out with me all the time as I would stand up for myself and they didn’t like being challenged. Then they would be sorry and we’d all make up with a night of drinking and the cycle continued. We haven’t spoken for 4 months since the last fall out.
Last night around 10pm I could hear thuds coming from my outside porch. I went to check and noticed that loads of eggs had been thrown at it many of them containing small dead chicks which are now all over the clear Perspex roof. I looked out my back gate and saw one of those guys walk away and go in their house. They are also the only people round here that have chickens in the field out the front of my house.
If I had been drunk I would have got very angry and upset and confronted them and all hell would have broken loose. I would have drunk more and more and cried and worked myself up over it and spent all night turning it over in my head and would have woken up this morning feeling terrible with a hangover and a sense of doom. I’d have done and said things that I shouldn’t which would in the end have made me as bad as them.
I dealt with it. I did not drink. I did not do or say anything I cannot be proud of. I can see this clearly for what it is and I can let it go. I am so happy to be sober and taking control of my reactions, behaviour and emotions.
Not sure why I am sharing this but I guess it’s to show how differently bad situations can turn out when you are in control and not the alcohol. I can’t control what they do and I am sure this is not the last of it but I can control how I react and move forward.
Last night the bubble burst and I am so chuffed that I dealt with it without turning to the vino. Usually I would have gotten in the car, gone and got some wine or on the flip side I would have already been drunk when it happened and the situation would have escalated and become out of control.
I can’t deny the situation that arose had some roots in the bad choices I’ve previously made when drinking so I have to take some accountability here. I made friends with a group of guys that live across my back street, they are all heavy drinkers and drink every night of the week and drink a lot! I used to drink with them, they made me feel like I really wasn’t an alcoholic and was just a social drinker as I would have a few days a week not drinking but they didn’t. I used them I guess. They liked me as I was a seemingly strong and upfront woman and always stood up for myself. However, as time went on they started to fall out with me all the time as I would stand up for myself and they didn’t like being challenged. Then they would be sorry and we’d all make up with a night of drinking and the cycle continued. We haven’t spoken for 4 months since the last fall out.
Last night around 10pm I could hear thuds coming from my outside porch. I went to check and noticed that loads of eggs had been thrown at it many of them containing small dead chicks which are now all over the clear Perspex roof. I looked out my back gate and saw one of those guys walk away and go in their house. They are also the only people round here that have chickens in the field out the front of my house.
If I had been drunk I would have got very angry and upset and confronted them and all hell would have broken loose. I would have drunk more and more and cried and worked myself up over it and spent all night turning it over in my head and would have woken up this morning feeling terrible with a hangover and a sense of doom. I’d have done and said things that I shouldn’t which would in the end have made me as bad as them.
I dealt with it. I did not drink. I did not do or say anything I cannot be proud of. I can see this clearly for what it is and I can let it go. I am so happy to be sober and taking control of my reactions, behaviour and emotions.
Not sure why I am sharing this but I guess it’s to show how differently bad situations can turn out when you are in control and not the alcohol. I can’t control what they do and I am sure this is not the last of it but I can control how I react and move forward.
Last edited by MantaLady; 05-11-2018 at 02:11 AM. Reason: .
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,840
You handled that situation with dignity and respect, MantaLady. Well done.
Isn't it wonderful that you have no need to stoop to their level?
Keep on. Sobriety gets better and better and better.
Isn't it wonderful that you have no need to stoop to their level?
Keep on. Sobriety gets better and better and better.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Jeez what a bunch of scum bags. I love chicks....although I love eggs too. But that's monstrous. I'd snap some pictures of that.
But yes, its all in how I react to the outside world. Getting all worked up about things does nothing to resolve the issue. Good for you!
But yes, its all in how I react to the outside world. Getting all worked up about things does nothing to resolve the issue. Good for you!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,445
Originally Posted by MantaLady 
I dealt with it. I did not drink. I did not do or say anything I cannot be proud of. I can see this clearly for what it is and I can let it go. I am so happy to be sober and taking control of my reactions, behaviour and emotions.
Ocean Lover!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all of your comments xx
The me 13 days ago to today is like night and day, it's not been easy and it takes constant work and vigilance, meditation (I am not good at it and not doing it right just yet but I am trying to learn) and challenging all my thoughts and their validity.
One thing I can honestly say is that without finding SR and learning so much about addiction, the way the mind works, the constant wisdom you all share here and never ending love and support and feeling like I am understood, well, I would not be where I am and for that I thank everyone to the moon and back....and then some x
The me 13 days ago to today is like night and day, it's not been easy and it takes constant work and vigilance, meditation (I am not good at it and not doing it right just yet but I am trying to learn) and challenging all my thoughts and their validity.
One thing I can honestly say is that without finding SR and learning so much about addiction, the way the mind works, the constant wisdom you all share here and never ending love and support and feeling like I am understood, well, I would not be where I am and for that I thank everyone to the moon and back....and then some x
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