Check In
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Check In
Quick check in. I'm in week 10 - Friday is 11.
Hard to fathom that much time has passed. Fully aware it's a drop in the bucket big picture.
I spent the weekend in the new pad, got it sorted. More or less settled in. Saturday was restless. By Sunday I'd relaxed. An adjustment period is to be expected I suppose.
Overall I love it.
That said, now that I'm here I'm struggling mightily with facing getting my home into shape to sell. I intended to drive the hour and 15 yesterday and spend the night there - doing what I could. I didn't do it. Anxiety is kicking my butt this morning as a result.
I have to find the energy to attack it. I can't let this hang over my head indefinitely. That's what I would have done back when I was drinking. That's what I did. For years and years on end. Everyday just suppressing and ignoring what needed done - to varying degrees of success. Always with an underlying dissatisfaction and anxiety.
You can not hide the truth from yourself when you know it. You can deny it, you can run from it, you can mask it - but it's always there.
I will not live like that anymore. I'm headed to the office early to get a couple of must do's off the plate then I'm skipping out and heading home. I'm going to let my OCD rage. Today may be a 12-16 hour rampage of cleaning and sorting.
After this past weekend and the move I realized just how precious my weekends - my time - is to me. The thought of spending any more weekends at the house -digging through the dirt - than I have to drives me crazy.
New plan - do what I have to to sort - garbage, goodwill, last of items to move. 2.- get the damn dumpster and purge. 3. clean, get quotes on paint & carpet. 4. sign in the yard by Memorial Day. Sooner if I can manage.
I'm going to try to get as much done during the weekdays as I can - even if work suffers a touch. Even if it puts a load on me. If I can salvage my weekends I can use them to recoup, rest, and enjoy the new future I'm starting to build at the new place...
Here we go...
B
Hard to fathom that much time has passed. Fully aware it's a drop in the bucket big picture.
I spent the weekend in the new pad, got it sorted. More or less settled in. Saturday was restless. By Sunday I'd relaxed. An adjustment period is to be expected I suppose.
Overall I love it.
That said, now that I'm here I'm struggling mightily with facing getting my home into shape to sell. I intended to drive the hour and 15 yesterday and spend the night there - doing what I could. I didn't do it. Anxiety is kicking my butt this morning as a result.
I have to find the energy to attack it. I can't let this hang over my head indefinitely. That's what I would have done back when I was drinking. That's what I did. For years and years on end. Everyday just suppressing and ignoring what needed done - to varying degrees of success. Always with an underlying dissatisfaction and anxiety.
You can not hide the truth from yourself when you know it. You can deny it, you can run from it, you can mask it - but it's always there.
I will not live like that anymore. I'm headed to the office early to get a couple of must do's off the plate then I'm skipping out and heading home. I'm going to let my OCD rage. Today may be a 12-16 hour rampage of cleaning and sorting.
After this past weekend and the move I realized just how precious my weekends - my time - is to me. The thought of spending any more weekends at the house -digging through the dirt - than I have to drives me crazy.
New plan - do what I have to to sort - garbage, goodwill, last of items to move. 2.- get the damn dumpster and purge. 3. clean, get quotes on paint & carpet. 4. sign in the yard by Memorial Day. Sooner if I can manage.
I'm going to try to get as much done during the weekdays as I can - even if work suffers a touch. Even if it puts a load on me. If I can salvage my weekends I can use them to recoup, rest, and enjoy the new future I'm starting to build at the new place...
Here we go...
B
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Nice work Buck, good to hear from you.
Ah yes - so many years of "suppressing and ignoring" - still hard for me to shake those twin devils of procrastination.
Nothing beats being sober though.
Stay strong and keep us updated.
Ah yes - so many years of "suppressing and ignoring" - still hard for me to shake those twin devils of procrastination.
Nothing beats being sober though.
Stay strong and keep us updated.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
Personally, I think eleven weeks is a pretty large drop! Congratulations...
Procrastination is a huge issue for me; the bigger the job, the worse the self-inflicted mental paralysis, which causes me much unnecessary anxiety and worry.
Chipping away at your rather daunting task throughout the week sounds like a good approach. A few hours off from everything on weekends should give you some room to breathe. You sound determined, and capable as always. Best of luck, man...
Procrastination is a huge issue for me; the bigger the job, the worse the self-inflicted mental paralysis, which causes me much unnecessary anxiety and worry.
Chipping away at your rather daunting task throughout the week sounds like a good approach. A few hours off from everything on weekends should give you some room to breathe. You sound determined, and capable as always. Best of luck, man...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
