Removing
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 4
Removing
My partner continues to drink in the house with me and young children. he is verbally abusive, and won't seek help, keeps saying he will sort it out but doesn't take the action. Been a while now. It is my house and i have to get him removed forcibly and this makes me feel so scared but I think it is the only way to give me and kids a peaceful future and get him to stand on his own two feet. Painful but imminent. My chest constricts with pain and the stress of doing it.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Very sorry to hear of your troubles Carlotta but I applaud your decision to protect yourself and your children - that is the most important thing. There are likely resources available to you locally as well to help with getting him removed if he will not leave voluntarily.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
Originally Posted by CarlottaMay 
My partner continues to drink in the house with me and young children. he is verbally abusive, and won't seek help, keeps saying he will sort it out but doesn't take the action. Been a while now. It is my house and i have to get him removed forcibly and this makes me feel so scared but I think it is the only way to give me and kids a peaceful future and get him to stand on his own two feet. Painful but imminent. My chest constricts with pain and the stress of doing it.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I'm sorry to learn of your troubles.
Make sure you have clearly articulated the boundary.
If you _____________, then I will ________________.
That makes it his choice. You are not saying, "You aren't allowed to drink." That would be an attempt at controlling his behavior. You don't want to try that. You need to make this HIS decision.
If you _____________, then I will ________________.
Don't yell it. Don't scream it. It's not a threat. It's a choice you are presenting to him. But you have to mean it. Because if he _____________ and you don't follow through, you will never be taken seriously.
Best thing Mrs Nons ever said to me was "If you don't change your drinking I am going to ask you to find another place to live."
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
Make sure you have clearly articulated the boundary.
If you _____________, then I will ________________.
That makes it his choice. You are not saying, "You aren't allowed to drink." That would be an attempt at controlling his behavior. You don't want to try that. You need to make this HIS decision.
If you _____________, then I will ________________.
Don't yell it. Don't scream it. It's not a threat. It's a choice you are presenting to him. But you have to mean it. Because if he _____________ and you don't follow through, you will never be taken seriously.
Best thing Mrs Nons ever said to me was "If you don't change your drinking I am going to ask you to find another place to live."
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 274
Uh, not a good situation. I had to throw out my stoner boyfriend. I miss him very much but I don't miss being with an addict. I have my own problems and I would not date me if I was a guy, so not throwing stones here but you need to find someone that appreciates and respects you and your children. And I did call the law when he hit me but later got him a lawyer (and paid for it) to be released from charges of domestic abuse. But I did get him out of my house. Big relief.
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