Britth

Hi all!
I am one week sober today and am feeling great! I started a keto diet as soon as i quit and ive noticed more energy and interest in things besides drinking and watching tv. The problem is that I am really craving a drink ):

My ex who is also one of my closest friends is coming over tonight to celebrate him finishing grad school and since I've stopped drinking I dont feel as comfortable. He leaves in a week to move 2000 miles away and I really want a drink or two before he comes over to loosen me up. Pretty much our whole relationship I was a secret alcoholic and it affected my life and drive to succeed so much that it caused us to break up.

I'm rationalizing and thinking I can handle a couple drinks and then quit again tomorrow but in the back of my mind I know its a bad idea.
Support would be so helpful!!

joandmelandhan

Britth addiction has a very short memory and it's easy to rationalise a drink the pain subsides. From my own experience a cycle of binge-stop drinking took me to a whole other level of hell (worse than daily drinking).
You are doing amazingly well. You feel physically great. But you are incredibly vulnerable right now.
I would imagine that tomorrow morning you will have a list of negative feelings both physical and emotional if you drink. The cycle will start again.
Please protect your sobriety above all else. Do you have to see your ex? Can you meet on neutral ground? Can you do something together that prevents alcohol? Can you drive?
You will feel even more great tomorrow if you get through tonight. These days do come it's naive to think we can sail through this without some AV attacks. Support to you xxx

ProfessorD

Don't do it!!!! I would give anything to have a week sober. Think about all the hard work you have put in so far. You don't want to start over.

Your relationship with your ex sounds troubling. I don't mean to be judgmental, but if you need a drink to feel comfortable around him...maybe it would be best to not see him? If you do see him, try to relax another way. Go for a run, a swim...have a "cheat" day from your diet and make a favorite treat?

Just don't drink! Not worth it.

Best of luck to you

CincyFin

Cancel those plans and go to an AA meeting.

goodbyeevan

Don't drink. It isn't worth it for anyone. You can have a fine time with some sparkling grape juice or a fancy soda in a glass bottle. It doesnt matter what's happening in his life, it shouldn't affect your decision to stay sober.

It sounds like your rational brain and your AV are having a debate, make sure you follow what your heart of hearts is telling you. A brief, fleeting feeling of relief in an awkward situation is not worth the wellbeing you're working towards. You'll have regret and remorse the next day. There's always going to be a reason to have a drink. A bad day, a good day, an awkward social situation, a wedding, a funeral, they're innumerable. But we have to find a way to put an end to it, for good. Or else it will destroy us and everything good our lives could become.

apollo986

I promise you will regret it big time if you do it. Stay the course!

lessgravity

Tell yourself you can have a drink tomorrow. It's a band-aid technique but has worked for me in similar situations.

doggonecarl

You don't need to be loose. It's a couple of hours. You can be uncomfortable. You say he's a close friend? Then tell him. That's what you do with friends. Confide.

Stay strong.

entropy1964

My ex who is also one of my closest friends is coming over tonight to celebrate him finishing grad school and since I've stopped drinking I dont feel as comfortable. He leaves in a week to move 2000 miles away and I really want a drink or two before he comes over to loosen me up. Pretty much our whole relationship I was a secret alcoholic and it affected my life and drive to succeed so much that it caused us to break up.

Well there are multiple red flags here....
1. He's your ex, and your closest friend. But you are so uncomfortable with him that you have to predrink. I would ask yourself why?
2. Your relationship was based around you being a closet drinker. So you have never truly been comfortable with him or yourself or both. Friends, by definition, should be people who love us for who we are. And HONESTY is the foundation of any human connection, isn't it?
3. Your drinking caused your breakup. So, was it really a secret? I mean, there are so many potholes in this one I don't know where to start.

Historically I have never accepted myself for who I am. I am always trying to 'be' something or someone other than my authentic self. As a matter of fact, I spent so much time being what I thought others wanted me to be, or who I thought society wanted me to be, that I never really took a chance and let me be me. And it created incredible anxiety.

After my husband died I was totally lost (because he defined me...not by his choice, by mine). So I 'created' this franken-person. That 'new' me got into a relationship with a guy that liked franken-person. I couldn't hold up the masks and the anxiety got me and I started 'secretly' drinking. Anyway, long story short, the relationship was based on dishonesty and a person that was not me. I was afraid to be me.

What if you were honest with your ex, your closest friend? And said, I don't drink anymore. My guess is, he knows why. And if he's truly your friend, he will support you 100%. And if you don't think he will? Cancel.

Snowydelrico

the Reasons not to drink far outweigh the illogical reasons to drink.
It’s your life, take good care of it.
He’s looking after his, you look after yours.
Don’t gamble, you WILL lose.

Best wishes

Nonsensical

The fact that I wanted to drink was never the problem.

What I did when I wanted a drink was quite often a problem.