bringmeback7693

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually made the decision to quit last night. I had 8 drinks between 12pm-4pm, I quit my job, and I had a huge fight with my partner. I am so ******* done with alcohol ruining my life.

The thing is, I am terrified. Terrified that it won't work. Terrified that I'll slip up. I'm going to AA every single day this week and I hope that helps but I am so, so scared.

Quit290117

Welcome, I will be joining you. Another day one for me. Get as much support as you can and keep posting. That’s always my downfall. I start to feel good and stop reading and posting and then the AV creeps in telling me I haven’t got a problem.
Good luck on your journey to sobriety.

lessgravity

Rough stuff. I know the pain.

You previously stated that you don't believe in permanent sobriety. Do you believe in permanent anxiety, pain, suffering and shame?

I don't mean to sound rude or judgmental. I'm a struggler myself.

I think there is peace on the other side though. Lots of examples of it on this site.

Hope you stay sober today.

Sophie11

Congrats on making the decision. And all I can say is that I can relate: it is scary. I still (8 weeks in) feel scared I might relapse. Feel scared thinking back about some things I did when drinking. Occasionally when I’m anxious I feel scared thinking about getting through the evening without a drink.

But I can also tell you that it gets easier each day, and the first few days you’re still getting over the ‘booze blues’ so the fear is probably feeling exaggerated to you right now. And overall it is soooooo worth it and-in my own experience at least- it’s less terrifying than eg waking up and feeling hungover, wondering what idiocy you got up to the night before, the terror of what damage you’re doing to your body. This community are here to listen so post away. You can do this.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, bringmeback; very glad you found us.

Congratulations on your decision to go to AA; Aa has been a game-changer for so many people.

I can't wait for you to discover how fabulous sobriety and recovery can be. Living soberly is an exponentially better way to live.

Dee74

welcome back bringmeback7693

At some point everyone felt like you do. Every. one.

I was terrified too but I just kept in my mind that not drinking would make things better and, eventually, with a little work and patience, it did

Read and post here as much as you like.

Every drink not taken is a step away from where you are right now

D

time2shineagain

You CAN do this bringmeback. Utilise as much support as you can and whatever you do, DO NOT pick up that first drink. We're here for you. Stay close

MantaLady

Hi bringmeback, Day 1 for me too. Similar to you had too much yesterday, behaved badly and enough is enough. I absolutely get how you're feeling about the fear of failure, but from browsing the forums here one thing I have learned from the great support given by lots of people is to focus on the now and just focus on not having a drink today. Worry about tomorrow when it's tomorrow.
xx

theVman31

hour by hour then day by day in the begining.
Stick to it and stay posting.
Courage !