the neurological basis of my alcoholism
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Join Date: Sep 2017
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Mine too. Every time something happens that I can't or won't deal with the bottle is what I run to. This weekend my in laws were here. Which is fine. I like them. But i was just coming off a 2 day binge and my 15 year old was quiet and subdued. Which is NOT like him. When he finally opened up about what was wrong he said I just feel like we are acting like everything is ok and it's not. That really got me. So how do I deal with it? Exactly the wrong way. Because it's all I know. 😳
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And you confirmed this with a neurologist? Or was it self-diagnosed?
I personally found that why I am an alcoholic is a lot less important than the fact that I am one. You have started many vague/theoretical threads about the origin of your issue with alcohol, is that perhaps because you haven’t accepted it yet?
I personally found that why I am an alcoholic is a lot less important than the fact that I am one. You have started many vague/theoretical threads about the origin of your issue with alcohol, is that perhaps because you haven’t accepted it yet?
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When I look at when I drank, it was often related to work stress and a desire to relax or check out. Mix too many bad days with a highly addictive substance that messes with brain chemicals and you get chaos and disaster. One thing I learned about the alcohol loop is that the alcohol creates a stressor that is only relieved by adding more alcohol. Learning that alcohol didn't help me cope with the bad days, in my almost 6 months away from it, I have been able to better handle my work stress (which has not changed. I did).
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Whatever stops us from putting the bottle to lip is all that matters to me at this point.
Which also means intellectualizing it, as you are wont to do, can be of aid. For me, it often is. I see my addiction to alcohol as also a component of the part of me that seeks out the stress and heightened state of being in a jam, the thrill of doing the wrong thing and getting away with it - this adolescent but powerful urge to disappoint. Lots of sh-t up there in that head.
But what also work is just saying f--k off to the Beast and getting on to the next.
Which also means intellectualizing it, as you are wont to do, can be of aid. For me, it often is. I see my addiction to alcohol as also a component of the part of me that seeks out the stress and heightened state of being in a jam, the thrill of doing the wrong thing and getting away with it - this adolescent but powerful urge to disappoint. Lots of sh-t up there in that head.
But what also work is just saying f--k off to the Beast and getting on to the next.
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Originally Posted by daredevil 
My neurologist is also board-certified in psychiatry.
That was what he said.
I agree with the assessment.
That was what he said.
I agree with the assessment.
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Originally Posted by lessgravity
I see my addiction to alcohol as also a component of the part of me that seeks out the stress and heightened state of being in a jam, the thrill of doing the wrong thing and getting away with it - this adolescent but powerful urge to disappoint.
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Originally Posted by daredevil
Self-sabotage was a particular indulgence of mine, however perverse. An ineffective coping mechanism, but one nevertheless.
Wish I could say self-sabotage "was" an indulgence. Even with the booze down, old habits, hard to quit.
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
So now that you have that answered, what is the next step?
Originally Posted by daredevil
Besides not drinking, I'm not sure a next step is necessary.
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Originally Posted by lessgravity
Wish I could say self-sabotage "was" an indulgence. Even with the booze down, old habits, hard to quit.
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Originally Posted by daredevil
My tendency to procrastinate preceded my alcoholism, and still exists. In that respect, alcoholism masked an underlying issue. Hence, lack of effective coping mechanisms. Remove the alcohol, and the underlying issue is exposed for what it is.
The word itself has such an innocuous ring to it. Like putting off the call to grandma. But it is a life ruiner.
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Originally Posted by andyh
following on from your first post, developing effective coping mechanisms might be a useful next step
But alas, I'm not drinking, which in itself, is an effective coping strategy by virtue of eliminating one that wasn't.
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Originally Posted by daredevil
Besides not drinking, I'm not sure a next step is necessary.
It was in the same part of my brain responsible for lack of effective coping mechanisms.
then:
I agree with the assessment.
sooo, its not necessary to learn coping mechanisms then?
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Originally Posted by daredevil
I find exercise and hobbies pretty effective. I’ve grown tiresome of meetings, but I still go. Lately it just doesn’t seem like a productive use of time.
But alas, I'm not drinking, which in itself, is an effective coping strategy by virtue of eliminating one that wasn't.
But alas, I'm not drinking, which in itself, is an effective coping strategy by virtue of eliminating one that wasn't.
I'm not sure whether eliminating an ineffective coping strategy makes for an effective coping strategy in itself - doesn't it just bring you back to where you started?
what issues do you have trouble coping with? if you can identify them then you can develop particular strategies to deal with them. family, finances, relationships, career ... ?
exercise & hobbies are great for general well-being & for avoiding boredom that may have been a trigger, but they don't necessarily address specific issues.
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