Hope4serenity

Had the worst day since getting sober - going on 5 months. Made it through Christmas, NYE, Valentine's, 50th b-day and St Patty's without drinking. Wasn't easy by any means but today I came so incredibly close to giving up.
My only child is graduating college this year and my ex (her father) and daughter are keeping all the 4 allotted tickets to the commencement for 'the family' (ex, his fiancee, her child, and ex-MIL) so I apparently won't be attending.
My relationship with my daughter has been rocky since the divorce and she chose to spend the majority of time with her father and his new family. She has never said as much but I'm sure my drinking in the past caused at least a portion of her decision.
I've never wanted alcohol more in my life than I do right now. Been dealing with this situation for 5 hours now and haven't caved yet, but damn I want a drink. Or a fifth, to be honest. Anything to numb myself.
Sorry for the rambling. Just needed to get it out.

E1234

Wow so proud of you! You’ve come so far.. i just said a prayer for you to stay strong.. remember why you became sober to begin with

least

At times like this, I find the serenity prayer to be a lifesaver. The serenity to accept the things you can't change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Please don't drink. Five months is awesome and you don't want to have to go back to day one again.

Dee74

I'm sorry Hope - that must be hurtful for you.
Drinking won't help a damn tho - you'll just feel worse. Stay strong

I'm not sure how they do it where you live. but even tho I haven't always been able to get a ticket to friends graduations I've net with them outside the hall or at another time to celebrate their achievement with them.

If your relationship with your daughter precludes that right now, I'm sorry but it's ok - maybe things will improve with a little more time?

Reacting appropriately to this disappointment could be the first step in turning things around?

D

Vinificent

So sorry you are going through this but drinking will only make it all worse. Perhaps visit with your daughter the day or evening before the actual graduation? Or like Dee said, hang out on the outskirts and meet up after? Whatever you do, if you be the bigger person you will have no regrets, and that starts with staying sober

Hope4serenity

Than you so much for the support! The encouragement from this group means so much and is infinitely helpful in getting through today. Stay strong everyone and keep coming back to this wonderful community for guidance and support!

daredevil

When I drank in the evening, I woke up the next day with regret.
I never woke up and regretted not drinking.

theVman31

Hi Hope,
Sorry about that situation but good god stay strong.
Nice work for the 5 months. Protect it.

V.

FreedomCA

Drinking will also set the obsession back in gear for more drinking. You never know if you can get sober again once it’s back.

Verdantia

5 months is awesome, Hope! Good on you for standing strong. Keep building on your sobriety!

J50

That's a great idea, unless you think it would cause a scene. It could also show her how much you do care, to make such an effort. Maybe you can give her a card with some message of apology, congratulation, and/or encouragement which could be a turning point in the relationship.