Powerless
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Powerless
My name is Suzy I am an alcoholic. I went to AA last year thinking I had hit my bottom. I was sober for 2 months. They were great. I wasnt working the programme. I drank. Was sober xmas and new year. My first in 20 years. Was great but again i wasnt working the programme and I drank again. I now know I have truly truly hit bottom and that I truly am a chronic alcholic and addict. I am day 4 sober. I am in the Uk. I am lying in bed next to my daughter and really, I should be dead now. The last week and a half my drinking has gone to another level mixing with xanax pills. I have been hit by a quad bike and hurled in the air. I have fallen off a wall into a basement and whacked my head and back. I have had a police caution. I have days ,not hours, on my calender that i cannot account for. I am signed off sick from work. My daughter was with her dad all these times when she sh9ukd ave been with me or i should have been working but drank and drugged instead. I have been awake for 40 hours. Did not get one ounce of sleep last night. At 4am I started having a panic attack about my head and prayed and begged to God to help me, to let me live, to let me get better. My prayer was answered. I am gping to a meeting in the morning but I know I Am in for a rocky night. I still feel totally wired and just needed to touch base with other alcoholics. I have well and truly surrended and am so ready to work this programme!!!!!
We're here to help you achieve that. 
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Congrats on making the decision to stop.
Please consult a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist with substance use disorder experience to help you with withdrawal and subsequent treatment. Adding benzos to the mix worsens the withdrawals and puts people in a higher risk for seizures.
Better safe than sorry.
Please consult a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist with substance use disorder experience to help you with withdrawal and subsequent treatment. Adding benzos to the mix worsens the withdrawals and puts people in a higher risk for seizures.
Better safe than sorry.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Suzy, I'm so glad you found us and joined. You're with great people who understand just what you're going through. I was in similar shape when I came crawing in to SR. Knowing I was no longer alone made all the difference in the world. I have friends here who understand and care. You can reclaim your life and never go back to that horrible situation. You're on your way. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Welcome Suzy. Well done on your decision to get sober. You're in the right place. The folks here are very wise, compassionate, understanding and non judgmental. SR has been instrumental in keeping me on my sober path. SR will help you too. Please stay close and post as often as you like. Keep us posted on your progress. I agree with the folks who have recommended medical assistance for your detox. Please consider it. ((HUGS))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Thank you everyone!!!!! I still cannot sleep but am getting calmer and starting to "feel" sleepy and am having all sorts of epiphanies here! I've alwas been a problem drinker but these last 2 weeks have shown me for the real true alcoholic that i am. That this disease wants me dead and won't stop unless i stop IT. This is the first time I have said with true conviction I am an alcoholic and not winced. All my family know the true extent now of my drinking ie a bottle of wine in the morning and they are all 100% behind me. I have said to my closest friends who again may have known that I, ahem, liked a drink or 2 just as they did but that when i got home I continued till pass out even when I had (such shame) my daughter with me 😢 alcohol wants to take me down and I will not let it. It feels so good to be around people who get it!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Glad you're here and posting, and have a resolve to reclaim your life.
I do hope you get to that meeting. Please do take down some numbers of people who offer them, with a view to contacting so you can start building a sober network of support around you, and start to figure out good potential sponsors. The meetings themselves are not the program. Steps with a sponsor, and being part of keeping the group going (sometimes just in little ways, helping to out chair out, washing up cups at the end of a meeting - these are the program along with the fellowship side of things. And that's no secret. It's there on the AA symbol as the three sides to the triangle. Think of these three things as the three legs of a sobriety stool that you need to get comfy on. Once we start trying to balance on one or two legs of that stool for any extended period we're likely to get uncomfortable and /or fall off it.
Hope you keep reading and posting here as well. Let us know how that meeting goes.
Take care.
BB
I do hope you get to that meeting. Please do take down some numbers of people who offer them, with a view to contacting so you can start building a sober network of support around you, and start to figure out good potential sponsors. The meetings themselves are not the program. Steps with a sponsor, and being part of keeping the group going (sometimes just in little ways, helping to out chair out, washing up cups at the end of a meeting - these are the program along with the fellowship side of things. And that's no secret. It's there on the AA symbol as the three sides to the triangle. Think of these three things as the three legs of a sobriety stool that you need to get comfy on. Once we start trying to balance on one or two legs of that stool for any extended period we're likely to get uncomfortable and /or fall off it.
Hope you keep reading and posting here as well. Let us know how that meeting goes.
Take care.
BB
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Please keep us posted. One way or another, withdrawals do end.
Then the real work starts. You don't get sober, you STAY sober.
Once you're physically able, please get some sort of help. Meetings are a good idea and are probably readily available.
Stay strong, and remember that the strongest thing you can do at this point is to ask for help.
Then the real work starts. You don't get sober, you STAY sober.
Once you're physically able, please get some sort of help. Meetings are a good idea and are probably readily available.
Stay strong, and remember that the strongest thing you can do at this point is to ask for help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
I am alive!! I managed to get about 2 hours sleep last night and I am so GRATEFUL to have been given this 2nd chance. I am going to a meeting at 10.30. Thank you for all your messages of support. They mean EVERYTHING !!
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