day 1...again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 21
day 1...again
Had an absurd binge yesterday. Terrible decisions and all. So upsetting. I feel like complete and utter death right now. The horror.
Over the past 2 years it's been a cycle of abstaining for days and even weeks at a time (made it to 45 days a couple of times) then forgetting I'm an alcoholic and thinking I can enjoy it normally. Boom...binge.
During those periods of sustained sobriety, I was diligent about reading SR daily, writing in my journal and listening to AA podcasts. It was a plan that worked but obviously needs some tweaking because I eventually stopped following it.
Day 1...again.
Over the past 2 years it's been a cycle of abstaining for days and even weeks at a time (made it to 45 days a couple of times) then forgetting I'm an alcoholic and thinking I can enjoy it normally. Boom...binge.
During those periods of sustained sobriety, I was diligent about reading SR daily, writing in my journal and listening to AA podcasts. It was a plan that worked but obviously needs some tweaking because I eventually stopped following it.
Day 1...again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome back, omnicare. I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling.
Examine closely what went wrong, shore up the holes in your Plan and move forward.
There is a really good thread on the importance of a Plan. You may want to look at it for some additional strategies and ideas.
I will post a link in a minute.
Examine closely what went wrong, shore up the holes in your Plan and move forward.
There is a really good thread on the importance of a Plan. You may want to look at it for some additional strategies and ideas.
I will post a link in a minute.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back omnicare. You are right - if you don't follow your plan you won't get the results you want. Have you thought of what you might do to strengthen your plan or resolve to follow it? If you do so every day it's pretty hard to "forget" that you are an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by omnicare6754110 
I definitely need to shore up my plan and think of ways stay the course. It can be very easy for me to get complacent. I appreciate the support and i'll be on the lookout for that link!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi omnicare6754110 The link Leigh posted is pretty good.
I've no doubt that the things you were doing kept you sober until you stopped doing them - maybe it's the stopping doing them you need to work on?
Think about more support perhaps - and using the support you have when you need it ?
I went for years thinking about recovery as a kind of intensive diet, but I always went off the 'diet' eventually.
Maybe its best to start thinking an\bout this as a permanent life change?
D
The link Leigh posted is pretty good.I've no doubt that the things you were doing kept you sober until you stopped doing them - maybe it's the stopping doing them you need to work on?
Think about more support perhaps - and using the support you have when you need it ?
I went for years thinking about recovery as a kind of intensive diet, but I always went off the 'diet' eventually.
Maybe its best to start thinking an\bout this as a permanent life change?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 21
Thanks Dee. I think the finality of being sober forever is something I've struggled to wrap my head around. Even when I've told myself otherwise, I still haven't truly embraced it. In fact, many times I'm trying to make it to a mile stone and plan on drinking once I get there. Usually it's a big event that knocks me off my horse. Like a wedding or a football game.
Most of my friends are very heavy drinkers so most everything involves drinking. The good news is, that as we have gotten older, the drinking events have become more sparse and it's easier for me to avoid them.
I need to accept the permanent part. Big time.
Most of my friends are very heavy drinkers so most everything involves drinking. The good news is, that as we have gotten older, the drinking events have become more sparse and it's easier for me to avoid them.
I need to accept the permanent part. Big time.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome back Omni! I found that complacency was my downfall in the past. I now have 28 months sober, and read and post here daily. The second I start feeling like "I don't need to post," I know it is key that I do.
Why don't you join us in the 24 hour thread. You will meet a great group of people, and it helps with support and accountability.
Why don't you join us in the 24 hour thread. You will meet a great group of people, and it helps with support and accountability.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by omnicare6754110
Definitely going to look for the 24 hour thread. I'm certainly prone to becoming complacent so posting daily is something I need to get better at.
Day 3 today!
Day 3 today!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Here is the link, omnicare:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-376-a.html (24Hour Recovery Connections Part 376)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-376-a.html (24Hour Recovery Connections Part 376)
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