Excape

. My husband of 20 years left in the middle of the night & never came back! He is addicted to steroids & Vicodin blue hearts. He has been physically & mentally abusive! He has knocked me out and I have a bone putrueding from my shoulder! The thing he did the most is strangle me. My daughter and I have been keeping this secret for about five years. Now that he has left I have gotten a restraining order. He texts my daughter every once in awhile and acts like nothing is wrong it’s weird! Why am I hurt and miss someone that has been so terrible to me and our daughter. If someone can give advice I would appreciate it.

suki44883

Well, the first thing I would recommend is getting some medical attention for your shoulder. Then, contact a domestic violence center for help in getting yourself and your child out of danger.

Excape

Hi thank you for responding I have had MRI and now seeing orthopedic surgeon for my shoulder now that he is gone. I’m trying to get a protective order it last a year. But my husband ask for special hearing half a day in court. He is denying ever hitting me. I never told anyone about the abuse because I loved him! I didn’t want him to get in trouble! I know it sounds crazy! we live in beautiful home my daughter goes to private school. In the outside world We looked like the perfect family. When the door closed my husband was injecting himself with all kinds of drugs & was very abusive in every way. He controlled everything money I couldn’t look at the mail! He has his own bank account. I’m scared to face him in court. He is the best lier and manipulator! But I’m going to take the stand and tell my truth.

Ann

Please talk to your family, talk to a counselor, and most of all please talk to a women's shelter for contacts and instructions for if he should persist in seeing you. Stop protecting a man who has physically harmed you and could very well kill you....and dear, I say that with love in my heart for you and your daughter.

You are a victim of abuse, stuck there because of the fear of moving on and this is a normal way for victims of abuse to feel. His money means nothing if you or your daughter are hurt.

It is a blessing that he is gone, I promise, and now it's time for you to gt into "survivor" mode and take care of yourself and your daughter.

My prayers go out for both of you.

Ann

This link will give you some good reading and suggestions on how to deal with this and proceed.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...out-abuse.html (About Abuse)

zoso77

Excape...

Welcome to the Board. I am so, so sorry for what you're going through. It's important for you to remember that none of this is your fault, and I hope you check out the information that Ann has provided in her post above mine.

At this moment, the most important thing is your safety and that of your daughter. If the RO you took out explicitly forbids any contact with your daughter, you have to turn him in. Do not hesitate. Do not equivocate. Do what is necessary to be safe.

Please keep us posted here, and remember you're safe and amongst friends here.

atalose

Excape if you reach out and contact a domestic violence hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) from anywhere in the united states they have resources available to help you. They can even arrange for someone to come with you to court, please call them.

Excape

I so glade people have responded! I have feel so isolated, The battle is just beginning but I feel so drained of all I used to be. I hope it gets better soon.

Thank you

hopeful4

Abuse and life with an addict can be very lonely. You are not alone! Keep posting, we are here with you!

Freedom1990

I was a shell of my former self when I left my abusive EXAH. I promise it will get better. You've been given some excellent suggestions already, and I hope you take it.

I have no idea if those resources were available when I was in my abusive marriage. If they were, I didn't know about them. I too kept it a secret from everyone.

Gentle hugs from Kansas!