KG77

All my plans suck. I ended up in the ER Friday night wasted off my @** I should have stayed there but I made my husband come get me. I drank yesterday. I never even sobered up. I am starting to come down now. I should go back to the er. 😳😳

EricHJF

Hi KG,

My plans sucked too. All my little strategies to cut back, to space drinks out, switch to lower alcohol content always failed because I am an alcoholic and always drank hard in the end.

The only “plan” that works for me is the plan to absolutely give up and rely on my sober friends, meetings, and my Higher Power thru prayer and readings. I cannot do this alone with any kind of self-guided plan, but can do it one day at a time after I ditch my efforts.
Prayers,
Eric

KG77

I just want to be better. I know I am an alcoholic. I can't stop once I start. I am having really bad anxiety.

Delilah1

Hi KG,

I think going back to the ER is a very good idea. They can help you safely detox, let them know you do not feel well enough to go home, and they should keep you overnight. They should also be able to help you find a rehab. One of the strongest things you can do is ask for help, and it sounds like you are ready to do that. I k ow rehab sounds scary, but having that time to fully focus on early sobriety, and putting together a solid recovery plan sounds like a good thing for you right now.

KG77

Yeah. I guess I missed my shot. I asked my husband to take me and he was like nope. I tried yesterday. He is so done with me.

KG77

It seems like I am worse than ever since I relapsed after 60 days. I spent 60 days not drinking and I am worse now than I was before I stopped. How does that happen?

Rar

I think the word is kindling KG. Each detox is worse. When I stopped drinking after my last relapse, I remember thinking, "Geez - I don't remember it being this bad!". Then I learned about kindling. My anxiety was through the roof the first day of detoxing for me. I didn't know if it was withdrawal or from the fear of having seizures. Can you take a cab to the ER?

Dee74

I believe alcoholism is progressive.

By the last few years of my drinking, every time I went back to drinking (my record before SR was also 60 days) I didn't just pick up from where I left off...

I picked up from where I would be had I drank those 2 months.

Thats scary.

This is going to take more effort than last time probably.

I know your moods got better when you went off that med, but what else were you doing to stay sober?

D



D

KG77

I can take a cab to the er but my husband said if I feel like I need to go he will take me. I am having massive anxiety. I am afraid of having a seizure even though I never have had one.

Rar

Yes - I really understand that. I think for me, that made my anxiety even worse. If I was certain I wouldn't have seizures, the anxiety might have been less. It seemed every second I was waiting for some sign of a seizure. The good thing, is we never have to go through this again. I didn't have a seizure, but with kindling, I don't know if I would be so fortunate if there was a next time.

Change4good

I am so sorry you are going through this. I agree that going back to the ER is the right move. You said that you never sobered up, and are coming down.

Not to scare you, but it might get worse. You should stay in the hospital until your BAC is 0, and then see where you are, as they monitor you. I haven't read your other posts, so don't know your history. But withdrawal is nothing to fool with. If you are in the hospital, it might also ease the anxiety.

If you husband doesn't want to take you, take a cab. Don't pick up another drink, and detox. In my experience, this is really the only way out. Wishing you well.

KG77

I am just embarrassed to go to the er. I was an @** hole when I was there on Friday. 😳

Rar

You don't know those people and they don't know you. You are an alcoholic and your brain wasn't working when you drank again. Also, that's their job to help sick people. Did they give you any meds to bring home?

KG77

No. I left the ER AMA while still intoxicated. Then I went home and kept drinking.

Rar

So you're detoxing now? I would just tell them what you just posted.. left the ER AMA while still intoxicated. Then I went home and kept drinking., then tell them you are now detoxing. I think that's not so bad. You're sober now aren't you?

Another way to look at this.....you drink to feel better. Why not go to the ER to feel better and begin your recovery journey without this physical trauma?

KG77

Yes. I think so.... I mean I'm not still drinking, but I have no idea when my last drink was or how much.... at least 4 hours ago... That's when I woke up from being passed out.

And I guess I feel like I deserve the trauma. I am traumatizing my family. 😓

Rar

Well, whatever you do, don't drink now. Can your husband fill in the missing pieces for you?

KG77

No. He won't be around me when I am drinking. He wouldn't even talk to me yesterday. He was angry that I had him pick me up from the ER at 1 in the morning and then kept right on drinking. I can't blame him. I'm angry at myself just writing that.

Rar

If you haven't already done so, why don't you take a shower, try to eat something, have some calming tea and keep yourself distracted as much as you can. Perhaps you will begin to feel better or hopefully, your husband will take you to the ER.

KG77

Yes. If I start to feel worse he will take me.