sonny0638

Hello Everyone. I am new, just signed up today. The guy that I'm dating, (7 months now) i believe is suffering from opiate and cocaine addiction. I've read as much as I could about signs someone may have an addiction. And it makes a lot of sense. He's suffering from major financial issues, I've caught him lying about very stupid things. He claimed he didn't take pills, but he has several pill bottles that he carries in a back pack. This past month he had weird excuses for his lack of contact. He was about to be evicted so I loaned him $2000 to catch up on his stuff. He now has me blocked, won't respond to emails. I tried stopping by his house to ask him what was going on and he was just like "don't do this, not right now" kept repeating that. Said he would call me later. Haven't heard a word from him. A mutual friend spoke to him and got a pic of him and sent it to me, he looks horrible. She said that he called and sounds like he hasn't slept in days. I tried to reach out again by leaving him a detailed print out of the monies that I have lent him, the dates, and what it was for. We had many convo's about him never screwing me over and he would pay me back. I told him that if he was to ever take money and not pay it back, I would have to use courts to help me obtain it. He promised that would never happen. So this past Monday I went and filed in small claims court $2500. He was served on Monday night. I am just beside myself right now. thank you for listening.

Rar

Welcome Sonny! Wow - just wow! I'm sorry for what brings you here. It certainly does sound as if he has issues. My guess is that one of the reasons he's hiding from you is that he doesn't have the money to pay you back. You did the right thing in filing a claim. I hope you get your money back. I'm sorry you're hurting, but I would run away from him - run fast!

least

Welcome to the family. I hope you get your money back. He took advantage of you. I hope the only time you have to see him is when he has to pay you back. He sounds like bad news.

sonny0638

Thank you so much. I know that I have to stand my ground. It just rips my heart out that he just cut me off. Especially after he and I had so many talks that this was my biggest fear. I have major trust issues as it is. I just feel so blindsided. Just really confused and hurt. Constantly thinking did he really care, was this a big lie? That kind of stuff.

Hevyn

Sonny, I'm glad you joined us. I'm very sorry for the pain this has caused you.

As an alcoholic, I can tell you that my addiction caused me to behave in a way I NEVER would have if sober. I'm mortified when I think of some of the things I did. It literally turned me into a stranger. I never intended to hurt or confuse anyone - but drinking took over & ruled my world. It sounds like this might be the case with your bf. He may have had every intention of paying you back - but I know that's not much comfort. Let us know what happens.

sonny0638

Thank you for sharing your story. I pray that he gets help and he does the right thing. We have court on May 21st. I try not to take this personally, but it's hard. really hard. It's like in a blink of an eye he changed into this person that I don't know. He used to be so caring toward me, I guess that's what I'm struggling with right now, did i imagine that? or did he really care. the confusion sucks.

Delizadee

Hi Sonny, I'm glad you found us, but sorry for what brought you here

I echo what Hevyn said... addiction starts out as a good pal that turns into a deadly hijacker. Hopefully and it's very possibly the case- no one will ever know but him- that no hurt was actually meant but he just lost total control.
I also did a lot of awful, shameful and hurtful things when I was in active addiction. Unfortunately one of the byproducts of that was I learned my most effective addict coping mechanism for my screw ups was to toss a grenade on the bridges rather than just burn them. And run. And don't look back.

It's not about him anymore though- time to do some you healing.
There is nothing wrong I personally don't think anyways, pursuing the small claims stuff, as long as it is not putting you out further financially, mentally, emotionally. Have some support, as much as you need.
You don't deserve this. You should grab that strength that you took a stand against him and keep that to keep taking care of you.

Please do stick around, we are all here to help

Much love, Del

sonny0638

So my ex called my friend (which is a whole different topic) told her to tell me that I'm crazy, that he wants me to stay the **** away from him. That I showed up to his house all strung out couple weeks ago (don't do drugs at all) said that he's done with my crazy ****. He told me that he would pay me by the end of the summer, which he didn't tell me. He told her that he told me all we would ever be is friends and that i just couldn't get that through my head. That if i want to take him to court then fine, there's nothing he can do about it. Then he text me tonight told me that he tried to be there for me and that he told me he would pay me end of summer, that I'm crazy, that he's done with my crazy ****, that he will pay his obligation to me and that's it. He told me that I really need to be honest with myself and get some help, that I try to pawn it off onto other people. That he's done with my stalking ****. I'm literally beside myself right now. I've done nothing but be there for him and help him. He's being so mean and I don't know why. He's never been mean like this. Please help? I don't understand what's going on.

january161992

how are you today sonny0638 ?

Dee74

It probably has a lot with you taking him to court Sonny.

Right now I'm guessing he's not seeing things from the perspective of thats your money.

D

teatreeoil007

I agree with Dee...he's probably saying those things about you because he owes you money and can't "pay up" or doesn't want to "pay up" and you're taking him to court. If someone asks about you and why you're history..he doesn't want the truth to get out that he is an addict plus having financial problems and he will tell them bad stuff about you to make himself look better in their eyes. It's amazing what people will do to make their self look better....

At any rate. YOU know the truth about yourself, right? Try not to let what others say about you get you down. You know your truth.

Please don't beat yourself up about being naive. We get taken advantage of rather easily sometimes because we care about others.