Mandy73

I am/was? a binge drinker. weekends are my downfall - well more like Thurs through Sat hungover Sunday ..anyways.

My AV keeps hammering at me and it's pissing me off.
So I came here because I know that the posts would remind me that I just cant. I don't want to continue that pattern.

Im going to make a plan for my evening that does not evolve around what fluids I can consume lol

I can do this, I have to, I have too much to lose and nothing to gain.

Really hate feeling weak!

How are you all doing/feeling with the upcoming weekend?

MidnightBlue

Hi, Mandy!

There is a thread tailored just for you)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...il-2018-a.html (Weekender 19- 23 April 2018)

thomas11

I had virtually the identical drinking pattern as you. The first 5-6 weekends were hard, no doubt about it. I would go to bed and watch tv just to keep myself locked down. the only way I could quit drinking was to make it the most important thing in my life for awhile.

J50

I was also a weekend binger.

The key is to do something different other than dwelling on the cravings.

Go for a walk, go to a movie, do anything to keep yourself busy.

Eventually, the strength of the craving will go away if you give it enough time.

Anna

It looks like this will be the first nice, sunny, warm weekend we've had here in months, so I am stoked to be out, walking the beach area.

I think that if you make plans to do things that are different from your normal weekend activities, it will make a difference. Create new plans, habits, memories for your weekends.

theVman31

As MB said join the weekenders thread every week.

Mandy73

Its hard, my brain is seriously fighting me

J50

Would making a list of all your negative experiences or feelings involving alcohol possibly change your outlook?

I liked the feeling of the first few sips of wine. I hated the feeling when I finished the bottle, knowing I would feel like garbage in the morning.

Mandy73

I rode the waves and they have passed. I'm all good now and settled in for the night will likely be in bed early. I know I'm going to have many days like these. I like your idea of writing out all those negatives. Like waking up in the wee hours of the morning dehydrated, heart rate through the roof, sweating, worrying about having to get up in a cpl hrs and how sick i'm going to be, feeling ashamed, thinking I cant do this anymore..rinse and repeat..

Yeah there's nothing about that I miss. Please direct me to this post tomorrow when I am fighting again lol

Dee74

I'm glad it passed but I'll leave this here anyway

The thing is your brain, or your AV or your addiction - whatever you want to call it - can't get what it wants without your cooperation.

It has no arms or legs - it has no way of gettign what it wants but by using you.

If you refuse? Its beaten.

Sure it may throw a tantrum...but like any toddler it will tire itself and go to sleep.

You always have the upper hand. You addictive self doesn't want you to realise that.

D

Mandy73

Its scary how convincing and conniving it is. I have already given decades to this, DECADES to alcoholism and I dont know how that is going to affect my health and longevity. I only know I need to stop now because it isn't going to get any better no matter what the AV tells me. Im not Ok..I CANT moderate.. EVERYONE doesnt drink themselvs into oblivion every weekend..taking a few days off DOESNT make it any better. Logically I know these things...i know them. Im scared today

PurpleKnight

You can do this Mandy!!

NT216

Thanks for posting Mandy!
For me it hasn't really mattered whether it was a weekday or the weekend. Besides the HALT triggers I'm starting to recognize, it was also the thinking "boy this was a "hard" day/week, I deserve to unwind and celebrate making it through with a drink!". Which of course was never one drink.

Now I'm starting to ask that voice "How in the hell is that a celebration? Drinking something that's damaging my mind and body, losing hours of my life each night doing something I can hardly remember the next day. My weekend's gone and I have nothing to show for it."

I'd be doing myself a favor by having a bag of buttered popcorn or a bowl of ice cream (or maybe both). That's what I'm going to do tonight

Stay strong Mandy!

Mandy73

Thanks NT I totally relate. Right now im trying to keep my focus on how great its going to feel to get a good nights sleep and not ake up with the hangover i did LAST weekend. PLUS hubby and I are going car shopping tomorrow, exciting!! hangover free will be much more enjoyable. I just have a lot of general anxiety that really is overpowering at times.