brad12step

Hello all. I'm an adult child of addicted/alcoholic parents. When I was younger, I thought their use was totally normal. I didn't know any different. And it was OK for me to use as well which took my life down a totally destructive path before I even graduated High School and I began using drugs and alcohol with my mom on an almond almost daily basis. I got clean and sober in 2008 at the age of 21. My mom did not. She died of an overdose last October. And I didn't think so at the time, but it's really messed me up. I'm struggling with forgiveness. I'm so angry at her. For how I was raised. For taking me down the path she took me down. For not protecting me. For not being there for me through my adult life - my wife, my kids, my life. I'm an active member of AA but clearly I've never addressed these issues appropriately. Maybe I just need to do another 4th step? Looking for any support.

StellaBlu

Hello Brad12Step, I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. I can see how you could feel angry.
I have no advice, but I empathize.
-sb

tromboneliness

Try an Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting, if there's one in your area. The meeting I used to go to had a LOT of people from AA -- for precisely the reason you're describing. They said that a lot of AA groups frown on talking about your parents or family of origin too much, because that's considered "blaming" them. So we'd get a lot of AAs who had done well at getting (and staying) sober, because AA is focused on that -- but they'd found themselves at a point where they needed to focus more on "how I got that way," which is what ACOA (or ACA, same thing) emphasizes.

T