Reflecting on the life
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Reflecting on the life
Since I was 14 drinking has been my go to recreational activity. At that age, it was 40 oz beers behind a school or gas station. Later, it was underage bars and penny til you pee. Once adulthood set in it was while watching TV or out with friends. Nowadays it has become happy hour or Sunday funday. I always just viewed it as the normal way people socialized. It hadn't really occured to me until relatively lately that it is anything but. I remember when I told my therapist that ,6 beers was typical for me and not a binge. His head almost exploded. In his eyes, and that of most normal people, six beers in a sitting is a hell of a lot to consume. As I grow more conscious of how abnormal my behavior, and that of those in my circle is, I am frightened. I am frightened of what's behind door number two. I'm frightened of not having that release valve every few days. How will I exist?
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You know, there is fear in the unknown for sure. I know what alcoholism looks like, but living without it? That's new. And I believe I have relapsed in the past because it was 'better the devil I knew' kind of thinking. I mean, its many things. But that is part of it.
Fear of the unknown, fear of no control. Fear. I encourage you to read all the stories here of success (and failure) for your answers. Believe what you read. And believe that it can happen to you to. I remember times when I simply didn't believe the people in AA. No way, they can't REALLY be that happy. Well, I think they are. When you read a story of someones success or failure, imagine its you. You can have what others have. Just don't drink and trust the process.
Fear of the unknown, fear of no control. Fear. I encourage you to read all the stories here of success (and failure) for your answers. Believe what you read. And believe that it can happen to you to. I remember times when I simply didn't believe the people in AA. No way, they can't REALLY be that happy. Well, I think they are. When you read a story of someones success or failure, imagine its you. You can have what others have. Just don't drink and trust the process.
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Originally Posted by DontRemember 
The thought/fear of "never drinking again" scared the hell outta me,at first. After I finally had a few months behind me(via SR and court ordered AA) the fear/honesty of what/how I am if I drink scared me even more.
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Originally Posted by Frickaflip233
You know, there is fear in the unknown for sure. I know what alcoholism looks like, but living without it? That's new. And I believe I have relapsed in the past because it was 'better the devil I knew' kind of thinking. I mean, its many things. But that is part of it.
Fear of the unknown, fear of no control. Fear. I encourage you to read all the stories here of success (and failure) for your answers. Believe what you read. And believe that it can happen to you to. I remember times when I simply didn't believe the people in AA. No way, they can't REALLY be that happy. Well, I think they are. When you read a story of someones success or failure, imagine its you. You can have what others have. Just don't drink and trust the process.
Fear of the unknown, fear of no control. Fear. I encourage you to read all the stories here of success (and failure) for your answers. Believe what you read. And believe that it can happen to you to. I remember times when I simply didn't believe the people in AA. No way, they can't REALLY be that happy. Well, I think they are. When you read a story of someones success or failure, imagine its you. You can have what others have. Just don't drink and trust the process.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
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I had that exact same fear, but my life as a drinker had become so painful that I was resigned to living a dull and boring future if I could only get away from the drinking.
Out of desperation, I did the "feel the fear, but do it anyway" sort of thing.
Happily, I found out I was very wrong about my expectations of living sober. Of course it was not at all easy at first, but getting through the rocky first months with the help of a recovery program showed me how life could get better.
Bad things still happen and there is still pain, but not as much and I'm more equipped to handle those things now. I can say today that I am living a life much better than I could have ever dreamed it would be.
Out of desperation, I did the "feel the fear, but do it anyway" sort of thing.
Happily, I found out I was very wrong about my expectations of living sober. Of course it was not at all easy at first, but getting through the rocky first months with the help of a recovery program showed me how life could get better.
Bad things still happen and there is still pain, but not as much and I'm more equipped to handle those things now. I can say today that I am living a life much better than I could have ever dreamed it would be.
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Posts: 122
Originally Posted by Bird615
I had that exact same fear, but my life as a drinker had become so painful that I was resigned to living a dull and boring future if I could only get away from the drinking.
Out of desperation, I did the "feel the fear, but do it anyway" sort of thing.
Happily, I found out I was very wrong about my expectations of living sober. Of course it was not at all easy at first, but getting through the rocky first months with the help of a recovery program showed me how life could get better.
Bad things still happen and there is still pain, but not as much and I'm more equipped to handle those things now. I can say today that I am living a life much better than I could have ever dreamed it would be.
Out of desperation, I did the "feel the fear, but do it anyway" sort of thing.
Happily, I found out I was very wrong about my expectations of living sober. Of course it was not at all easy at first, but getting through the rocky first months with the help of a recovery program showed me how life could get better.
Bad things still happen and there is still pain, but not as much and I'm more equipped to handle those things now. I can say today that I am living a life much better than I could have ever dreamed it would be.
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Join Date: May 2012
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Originally Posted by Scramm
Since I was 14 drinking has been my go to recreational activity. At that age, it was 40 oz beers behind a school or gas station. Later, it was underage bars and penny til you pee. Once adulthood set in it was while watching TV or out with friends.
As time went on, you think the only "fun" you can get out of life is being a drunkard.
It takes work and making changes is hard, but you can build new paths to have an amazing life, without having to poison yourself
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Originally Posted by Forward12
This is one of the key factors to alcoholism, environmental exposure. While you were drinking 40's behind the school, your classmates were out running the track or involved with sports.
As time went on, you think the only "fun" you can get out of life is being a drunkard.
It takes work and making changes is hard, but you can build new paths to have an amazing life, without having to poison yourself
As time went on, you think the only "fun" you can get out of life is being a drunkard.
It takes work and making changes is hard, but you can build new paths to have an amazing life, without having to poison yourself
😒
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