Starsabove32

I feel in a bit of a downer today. Small bit of recent events: I split up with my partner a month ago, he was still drinking and smoking everyday and was mean with it. I never got to voice my opinions without being shouted down. I was always in the wrong. He got away with shity behaviour because I couldn't face him, without him getting defensive and telling me what a horrible person I was because that one day last week I had a lie in and didn't do dishes.... That one day last week I couldn't even remember, like what a joke. But anyway you get the jist.

Also off alcohol and cigarettes over six months, with the exception of 3 nights out on 3 separate months (Xmas, new year and my birthday)

Now since being single I have an opportunity to move abroad which I always wanted to do. Preferably western Europe because I'm in Ireland and it's close enough. But as you can imagine moving off alone is daunting. I don't want a crappy job in a bar. I don't know where to start. I like my current job a lot but I live in a backwards town where my world has changed since giving up alcohol. I also want to study social work at some point.

I'm torn between "adulting" and waiting for a partner, having kids, getting a house and settling down. Or moving off next year, rebuilding myself and starting again... I'm frightened I'll miss the boat to have a family. .. but I'm frightened staying here will kill my soul. I'm not really sure what my question is or what help I'm looking for. I have a good job at the moment in social care, with nice people. If I move abroad myself am I acting like a teenager? Am I giving up a good job for nothing? What are my priorities? Blah!!!

I've seen farms etc where you go and volunteer for a few months for free board and food 😍 Amazing, and I could save upto go. But then... What about having money?? What about after returning back here again with no money and everything exactly the same??

My mind. Blown. 🤯🤯🤯

Maybe my problem is if I can't solve it right away, it stresses me out. But I do that with everything obsessively, even when I'm exhausted and leaving it to the next day would be better. I want answers right away.

imready32

My thought? Do it !
I really wish I had the balls to do something like that when I was younger, I looked into it but never took the plunge.. you sound like you are at a crossroads in your life and it's the perfect time to do it !
kids and a mortgage can wait 😁😁

StellaBlu

Hello Starsabove,
I found it interesting that you described your town as 'backwards'. Perhaps you need to experience something new regardless of where you go? And if you decide to leave, why not go to western Europe - sounds like an exciting adventure. It also seems like you could find your way to a nice life if you did decide to move back to your 'backwards' town.

Very best,
sb

Starsabove32

I say backwards because it's not much in the way of opportunity. A small town with a lot of I guess narrow-minded thinking.... Or could you call it that.... Basically most people's thoughts are have a family, settle down , work and that's life. The few that didn't think that moved away already. Lol.

Starsabove32

I do work in a community which has a lot of similar communities in Europe. I'm a bit frightened to ask my employers about their contacts abroad, incase they're annoyed I want to leave.

Starsabove32

I meant to say I'm 33 though 😯😯🙄

imready32

I applied for a new job on a whim a year ago after having a bad Day, ended up getting it and dreaded leaving, I was happy and comfy where I was.... year later I'm doing bigger and better things i never thought possible . ...best decision I ever made
.... 33 ... you still have plenty of time 😁

AM100

One thing I've learned in life is this. Don't ever mold your life after what others or your environment consider appropriate.

You only get one shot at this ( by this is mean life ) and it takes a heck of a lot more guts to be your own person and follow dreams, whims, whatever than it does to fit in to the norm. Now, I'm by no means saying be a defiant ass, but I have regrets of not doing some risky things ( well other than drinking enough to kill a normal person ) when I had the chance.

Starsabove32

Thank you! I'm actually thinking of being braver and trying Canada ( next year) always wanted to go there....