Readygo

My last drink was 101 days ago. I don’t really think about Nearly as much as I did because I have filled my time with morning exercise and waking up as early as I do would be impossible if I drank the night before. The last few days though have been harder to think “I’m not going to drink” instead I keep having to push the thought “I can have some, I think one night will be okay”. I hate it, I can feel my mouth start to water and I get butterflies thinking about it. Tonight my hubby and I have a special night planned, a night I would normally be joining him in drinking and I’m realizing how easy it could be to go back. I passed by a local bar while on a jog, one I used to go to back when drinking was just for fun and I found myself reminiscing. Ugh

Anyway I have found that talking about these times on here or with anyone who may relate on some level helps me. I know this is all part of the gig, I’m just having a hard time with it right now.

Finalround

Play it thru. The hangover will suck. It will never be just a couple.

Anna

101 days is fantastic!

My experience was that this happened when my AV realized it was losing its grip, so it came on stronger. When you get through this, it will be easier next time.

PalmerSage

I'm right around 100 days too (just checked: 115). As the memories of drinking start to fade, and there is a risk of romanticizing, I'm really fighting to hold on to the absolute misery that would await me if I started drinking again. In the past, I've fallen in the trap of thinking, "I'll drink for a day, or a few, and then just come right back." But you know, it never happened that way. I would drink for longer than I intended (obviously), moderate for a while, and before I knew it, I would be in an even lower place than I had before. And I'm not even talking about things like DUI, job loss, divorce...those hadn't happened yet...but just the soul-crushing hopelessness, anxiety, depression, and misery of a life with alcohol. Don't let it suck you back in, you're well on your way to a much better existence.

DixieChicken

Dear Readygo,
I know exactly what you mean!! Went out to dinner tonight with my wife and she had a few beers. No problem so far but as we were leaving, I saw a couple at the bar and thought how enjoyable it would be to sit there and have a few with my wife. But I know I cannot do that and anyway, what would I gain by having a few??? I feel much better knowing I was strong and I will reach 70 days Friday. We can do this!!!

Pulaski

R2G, I'm just a bit over 100 days and I'm having more thoughts like this than I did before (i.e. wouldn't it be nice to have a couple). I had some really good times whan I drank but looking back it wasn't the drinking that made them good but the company, occasion and so on. And I also ruined plenty of what should have been good times for me and others by drinking too much. I suppose what I'm saying is that you can still have the good times, but now you'll remember what happened and not suffer with a hangover and anxiety all day.

BTW well done on 100 days!!

columbus

"back when drinking was just for fun"

But those days are done and gone, never to return, right?

Berrybean

Congrats on your sober time. As Finalround said, when you get those thoughts (which you just will from time to time) just play that film in your head through, past the initial fun if the first 2 or 3 to what will likely happen later that night, the next day, and possibly onwards.

BB

Stronger2017

Hi readygo👋 I had the same thing after two and a half years and I relapsed - now seven months sober again. I don’t really have any answers 😞 but do try and get through this somehow. Maybe consider starting some counseling or AA. A new hobby even. Shake things up. Don’t let your recovery go stale.

Yixi

Hi Readygo - 102 for me and it's soooo tempting to think one won't hurt. It will though and now when I look at the state of a few of the people around me who consider themselves to be social drinkers, I give thanks that - like yourself - I can be up early and enjoying the day not crawling out of bed mid morning, throwing up and asking me to cook the full mashings for them for breakfast because they can't look at a cooking utensil. Aside from the fact you'll feel much fitter, richer, fulfilled, more connected, have better relationships, be appreciative of your surroundings and present in any given conversation you can also take comfort in the added thought that you have the strength of 10 people to stay on track. Very well done you! Stay strong and enjoy life x x

Stronger2017

How are you doing today Readygo?

Dee74

I hope all went well readygo

I think its difficult around 100 days - long enough to forget the worst of the bad stuff but perhaps not quite far along in our journey to experience too much of the good stuff yet.

You might even do what I did and confuse abstinence with control - they are not the same thing. I believe I'll never find control over my desire for alcohol no matter how many years I stay sober.

This is where I had to have faith I was on the right road - and I was.
Stay with us readygo

D