Work In Progress
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Join Date: Mar 2018
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Work In Progress
My next kick around stems from a message from one of our esteemed members on another thread.
My question is - Are we always a work in progress? Or - with regards to our alcohol dependency , can we be essentially cured?
It has to be at individual level obviously. I'd like to think that once Im sure (which Im not as I currently desire not to drink - I cannot predict what future Dave does with certainty) - that I wont ever drink again then I wont have to feel that I'm in progress - rather that the job is done. Can time and brain re-training result in a final outcome - a finish line, a gold medal?
Regards
Dave 🤠
My question is - Are we always a work in progress? Or - with regards to our alcohol dependency , can we be essentially cured?
It has to be at individual level obviously. I'd like to think that once Im sure (which Im not as I currently desire not to drink - I cannot predict what future Dave does with certainty) - that I wont ever drink again then I wont have to feel that I'm in progress - rather that the job is done. Can time and brain re-training result in a final outcome - a finish line, a gold medal?
Regards
Dave 🤠
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 212
Hi Dee.
As a human being Im always in transition. My wisdom may improve with time but my values change very little these days. Many of my core values were obviously developed at quite any early age.
I feel society tries to influence how I should be thinking at times - Im open to change but wont be forced, I am swayable however and able to change my strength of view.
Your response is swift - you must be here 24/7 🤔🤔🤔
Kind Regards
Dave 🤠
As a human being Im always in transition. My wisdom may improve with time but my values change very little these days. Many of my core values were obviously developed at quite any early age.
I feel society tries to influence how I should be thinking at times - Im open to change but wont be forced, I am swayable however and able to change my strength of view.
Your response is swift - you must be here 24/7 🤔🤔🤔
Kind Regards
Dave 🤠
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
Life is a work in progress. We learn everyday about something or another.
Life with drink is a life in decline.
Don’t need to put too much emphasis on it. It just is what it is.
Without drink we progress
With drink we regress
Life with drink is a life in decline.
Don’t need to put too much emphasis on it. It just is what it is.
Without drink we progress
With drink we regress
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Originally Posted by daveglass1 
Hi Dee.
As a human being Im always in transition. My wisdom may improve with time but my values change very little these days. Many of my core values were obviously developed at quite any early age.
I feel society tries to influence how I should be thinking at times - Im open to change but wont be forced, I am swayable however and able to change my strength of view.
Your response is swift - you must be here 24/7 🤔🤔🤔
Kind Regards
Dave 🤠
As a human being Im always in transition. My wisdom may improve with time but my values change very little these days. Many of my core values were obviously developed at quite any early age.
I feel society tries to influence how I should be thinking at times - Im open to change but wont be forced, I am swayable however and able to change my strength of view.
Your response is swift - you must be here 24/7 🤔🤔🤔
Kind Regards
Dave 🤠
I find I trust my gut a lot more since I got sober. I was always looking for external validation in the old days.
of course the trick is to still be open to other points of view
D
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 212
I agree Dee - I read through many posts on here and pick up on people's views.
Mixed with my book and article reading , this place has been essential.
Carry on the good work young Sir and enjoy the undoubted Aussie sunshine - Ill forgive you for Kylie!!
Regards
Dave 🤠
Mixed with my book and article reading , this place has been essential.
Carry on the good work young Sir and enjoy the undoubted Aussie sunshine - Ill forgive you for Kylie!!
Regards
Dave 🤠
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
What do you mean 'cured of our alcohol dependancy'.
Do you mean, will we at some point have alcoholism leave us so we can drink like 'normal' people. If so, no.
If you mean, will we learn to live sober happily and comfortably, without obsessing over alcohol, then yes. But I think that it's still a matter of progress to some degree. If we stop working on our recovery then we can soon start to lose that serenity and joy.
I strongly believe that there's much more to an alcoholic mindset than just cravings for alcohol, and it can continue to make us miserable for years and years (the rest of our lives - even sober) if we refuse to address it.
BB
Do you mean, will we at some point have alcoholism leave us so we can drink like 'normal' people. If so, no.
If you mean, will we learn to live sober happily and comfortably, without obsessing over alcohol, then yes. But I think that it's still a matter of progress to some degree. If we stop working on our recovery then we can soon start to lose that serenity and joy.
I strongly believe that there's much more to an alcoholic mindset than just cravings for alcohol, and it can continue to make us miserable for years and years (the rest of our lives - even sober) if we refuse to address it.
BB
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Join Date: Mar 2018
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Hi BB
Say I was a bully at school ( I wasnt) - and I grew to learn that it was going to be a useless career.
Forty years on such a subject or behaviour would never enter my head.
Thus I suspect a day will come that I wont even be pondering the subject of alcohol - unless of course I go back and complete a Masters Degree related to the subject.
Regards
Dave 🤠
Say I was a bully at school ( I wasnt) - and I grew to learn that it was going to be a useless career.
Forty years on such a subject or behaviour would never enter my head.
Thus I suspect a day will come that I wont even be pondering the subject of alcohol - unless of course I go back and complete a Masters Degree related to the subject.
Regards
Dave 🤠
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I was asked by someone recently "is i weird for you that you can't drink anymore?" after a scene in a movie came on with people drinking.
I hadn't even noticed.
In all honesty it's kind of like reverting back to childhood where when you see people drinking it just translates as "ok they're socializing and having a good time" rather than setting off a million trigger bells in my brain. Do I think that means I can forget all about it and go back to partaking at some point? Definitely, definitely not.
I hadn't even noticed.
In all honesty it's kind of like reverting back to childhood where when you see people drinking it just translates as "ok they're socializing and having a good time" rather than setting off a million trigger bells in my brain. Do I think that means I can forget all about it and go back to partaking at some point? Definitely, definitely not.
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Agreed Cosima
Why go back - Im well on the road to convincing myself although I dont get have the convincing numbers to show that many on here do have.
Ive a supportive partner (she is honestly) who has several tiny gins a night - her choice. I rarely notice her pouring them and even when I do my conscious mind isnt reacting - she is just in my line of sight.
Love the general positivity.
Dave 🤠
Why go back - Im well on the road to convincing myself although I dont get have the convincing numbers to show that many on here do have.
Ive a supportive partner (she is honestly) who has several tiny gins a night - her choice. I rarely notice her pouring them and even when I do my conscious mind isnt reacting - she is just in my line of sight.
Love the general positivity.
Dave 🤠
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Location: Australia
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Originally Posted by daveglass1
In addition Dee,
You would therefore propose that we can be cured - as you no longer have an issue with not drinking.
So - a good positive start!!!
Dave ��
You would therefore propose that we can be cured - as you no longer have an issue with not drinking.
So - a good positive start!!!
Dave ��
I'm never cured.
If I drink again I'd be back at the madness in a week or two, maybe more maybe less..
I'm not troubled by thoughts or desires about drinking because I work a pretty rigourous recovery programme, and I love my little sober life and who I am now - not because I'm cured, or I learned self control or willpower in regards to alcohol.
If speaking of alcoholism in the past tense is important to you there are methods that promote and promise that, like Rational Recovery.
D
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Thanks Dee - Ill take a look.
I didnt actually think of that strategy in those words - but must have been eluding to it.
Ill pick up on your expertise and take a look.
Ive an open mind - until I close it 🤔🤔🤔
Regards
Dave 🤠
I didnt actually think of that strategy in those words - but must have been eluding to it.
Ill pick up on your expertise and take a look.
Ive an open mind - until I close it 🤔🤔🤔
Regards
Dave 🤠
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Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by daveglass1
Hi BB
Say I was a bully at school ( I wasnt) - and I grew to learn that it was going to be a useless career.
Forty years on such a subject or behaviour would never enter my head.
Thus I suspect a day will come that I wont even be pondering the subject of alcohol - unless of course I go back and complete a Masters Degree related to the subject.
Regards
Dave ��
Say I was a bully at school ( I wasnt) - and I grew to learn that it was going to be a useless career.
Forty years on such a subject or behaviour would never enter my head.
Thus I suspect a day will come that I wont even be pondering the subject of alcohol - unless of course I go back and complete a Masters Degree related to the subject.
Regards
Dave ��
I am a recovered alcoholic - meaning my lifestyle is one of recovery.
My recovery comes absolutely FIRST - meaning before my precious husband, any life choice or decision, friends, jobs, things that hurt my health in any way...."at any cost, to any lengths." SECOND to my recovery, comes my marital life in mutual recovery, and everything else follows. This is an absolute in my life.
I don't focus on DRINKING, I focus on my lifestyle free of alcohol.
I believe in the AA concept of "having a daily reprieve" and "thoughts of drinking do not go with me constantly." Irrational, obsessive, fearful are not words to describe my life - and my life routine, indeed everything I do, want and focus on goes to maintaining joy, freedom and peace. I work a diligent program to keep on this track, which includes "maintenance of my spiritual fitness." (all quotes para BB 4th edition).
I believe, as Dee, said that I will (and I want to be!) on a lifelong journey of discovery and growth in my LIFE. People, places and practices all go to this end.
For me, the "only "finish line" is to die sober, after "using everything God gave me," as the wise and witty Erma Bombeck said.
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Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I used to think about this. I so badly wanted to be 'recovered'. It was a thing for me....I hated the idea of 'working' at this, of committing to recovery daily. I felt it was 'tiring' or something. I just wanted to be 'normal'. Not drink normally, I knew that would never happen. But just be like all those other people I observe.
Now, what's changed? It doesn't matter. Today is everything. I do lots of behaviors and disciplines daily, why not recovery? And really, its more a state of mind/spirit than anything else, so its not 'work' per se. I mean the workouts I do take more actual time than my daily recovery work. I realized there is no destination and that doesn't matter. I also realized that I was comparing my internal world to a whole world of people that I only judged externally as 'normal'. There is no normal.
And for me alcohol was my singular coping strategy. That obviously didn't work. Removing the alcohol left me without solutions to deal with day to day life and stress and emotions. So I have to work daily to develop and commit to habit new ways of coping....and that's gonna take a lot longer than a year I'm guessing.
Now, what's changed? It doesn't matter. Today is everything. I do lots of behaviors and disciplines daily, why not recovery? And really, its more a state of mind/spirit than anything else, so its not 'work' per se. I mean the workouts I do take more actual time than my daily recovery work. I realized there is no destination and that doesn't matter. I also realized that I was comparing my internal world to a whole world of people that I only judged externally as 'normal'. There is no normal.
And for me alcohol was my singular coping strategy. That obviously didn't work. Removing the alcohol left me without solutions to deal with day to day life and stress and emotions. So I have to work daily to develop and commit to habit new ways of coping....and that's gonna take a lot longer than a year I'm guessing.
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